No fancy titles this time.
well i guess, its soon going to be a new year in a couple of hours and most people are out celebrating another year gone before they die. I'm not. For once in my life, and yes , i am going to admit this, i actually feel rather scared. I have lost my child like immunity of wishing that the world was a better place, I have lost ever single innocent thing that could ever have lived inside my blackened soul, and most of all i feel, mortal.
I have lost my child like innocence of secretly believing i would live forever, I have had a few health scares this year that in all have left me amazed that I am still sitting here writing this today. I consider myself a strong person. But at times i feel certain that i can hear my clock ticking away , and this scares me. The headaches are chronic, coming on all the time, I have moments wher i am so dizzy i see two of everything, and i am having panic attacks again. But i carry on through it all, because i have discovered that i am a POSITIVE person. Everything that has happened this year has given me something new to write about, another heart ache, another sad song, its all a damn story, and one day just one day I'm going to write the book, and its going to be magic. I see you all as characters' in my life, theirs the boy that couldn't commit, theirs the man who wanted one final fling, there's the boy who thought he was a man, but turned out to be a little boy, the cry baby who misses his ex and of course the confused one and his very strange brother and strange best friend. There's so many of these characters' in this unwritten book, all of which will never be named and shamed, they know who they are maybe. I like seeing how men like these will all die old and alone, they are the type that will never know what its truly like to feel anything worthwhile for another human being.
Well yeah my year has been a true rollercoaster. I may have grown from it, i know now how STRONG i truly am, for once in my life i know the world is mine, as long as i treat it well. i don't feel any hate towards anyone now, i pity a lot of people, but i do not hate. Hate is an emotion that no one needs, it engulphs us till there's nothing left but what we once detested.
so cheers to a new year kiddos. Remember never give up on your dreams. I've found mine again. and i'm going to live it up as time goes so damn fast.
I have lost my child like innocence of secretly believing i would live forever, I have had a few health scares this year that in all have left me amazed that I am still sitting here writing this today. I consider myself a strong person. But at times i feel certain that i can hear my clock ticking away , and this scares me. The headaches are chronic, coming on all the time, I have moments wher i am so dizzy i see two of everything, and i am having panic attacks again. But i carry on through it all, because i have discovered that i am a POSITIVE person. Everything that has happened this year has given me something new to write about, another heart ache, another sad song, its all a damn story, and one day just one day I'm going to write the book, and its going to be magic. I see you all as characters' in my life, theirs the boy that couldn't commit, theirs the man who wanted one final fling, there's the boy who thought he was a man, but turned out to be a little boy, the cry baby who misses his ex and of course the confused one and his very strange brother and strange best friend. There's so many of these characters' in this unwritten book, all of which will never be named and shamed, they know who they are maybe. I like seeing how men like these will all die old and alone, they are the type that will never know what its truly like to feel anything worthwhile for another human being.
Well yeah my year has been a true rollercoaster. I may have grown from it, i know now how STRONG i truly am, for once in my life i know the world is mine, as long as i treat it well. i don't feel any hate towards anyone now, i pity a lot of people, but i do not hate. Hate is an emotion that no one needs, it engulphs us till there's nothing left but what we once detested.
so cheers to a new year kiddos. Remember never give up on your dreams. I've found mine again. and i'm going to live it up as time goes so damn fast.