(no subject)
hmm,
It was Chris's party tonight. It made me feel really weird, so I ended up coming home instead of staying over. He's always telling me about how he hates stupid ignorant people that dont put any thought into their actions, and just do pointless & selfish things like eating meat, getting drunk, being loud in the street, being violent...etc. and it seems like he's just trying to tell me what I want to hear, like pretending to be who I want him to be.
He got so drunk tonight, and was really proud of it. Kept announcing it and trying hard to drink even more.
I went to the bathroom, and I heard all these loud annoying people outside, I thought 'gah, it must be those stupid people that hang about loudly outside every week'...but nope, it was Chris...and his friends ofc, but the rest of them were being quiet.
Then, at some point, he turned around and asked me if he could have a cigarette. why ask me? what's it got to do with me? It bothers me, yeh, but it's his decision. He should be asking HIMSELF if he thinks's it'll bother me and if he's okay with that or not.
And now Tom's going over to join them (he's hours late to everything), and they're all gonna get high (always happens with Tom), and then Chris is gonna lie to me about it.
Thing is, I always think 'he's a wasteman, but he's MY wasteman. he makes me happy'.. but now, I dunno. I don't wanna say he doesn't make me happy because that's not true. But I guess something's changed. I don't know what, but atm, I just feel a bit put off him. Maybe i'm losing my feelings for him, or maybe it's just a phase cause of recent events, i dunno. I can't say yet, but I hope it passes and things go back to good again!
:(
xx
It was Chris's party tonight. It made me feel really weird, so I ended up coming home instead of staying over. He's always telling me about how he hates stupid ignorant people that dont put any thought into their actions, and just do pointless & selfish things like eating meat, getting drunk, being loud in the street, being violent...etc. and it seems like he's just trying to tell me what I want to hear, like pretending to be who I want him to be.
He got so drunk tonight, and was really proud of it. Kept announcing it and trying hard to drink even more.
I went to the bathroom, and I heard all these loud annoying people outside, I thought 'gah, it must be those stupid people that hang about loudly outside every week'...but nope, it was Chris...and his friends ofc, but the rest of them were being quiet.
Then, at some point, he turned around and asked me if he could have a cigarette. why ask me? what's it got to do with me? It bothers me, yeh, but it's his decision. He should be asking HIMSELF if he thinks's it'll bother me and if he's okay with that or not.
And now Tom's going over to join them (he's hours late to everything), and they're all gonna get high (always happens with Tom), and then Chris is gonna lie to me about it.
Thing is, I always think 'he's a wasteman, but he's MY wasteman. he makes me happy'.. but now, I dunno. I don't wanna say he doesn't make me happy because that's not true. But I guess something's changed. I don't know what, but atm, I just feel a bit put off him. Maybe i'm losing my feelings for him, or maybe it's just a phase cause of recent events, i dunno. I can't say yet, but I hope it passes and things go back to good again!
:(
xx