FIC: Not Quite Human, PG13, SPN J2
Blame sazzlette entirely for this. Oh. My. God. She completely took advantage of my slightly inebriated state to go, "I want a Jared/bionic!Jensen fic!"
And being in the slightly inebriated state that I am, I went "okay!"
One and a half hours later, here I am. Sazz was supposed to collab with me but she disappeared and I feel jumpy about leaving the document on my daddy's laptop, so I'm posting now, that I can delete the file.
Title: Not Quite Human Pt 1
Author: jennuine, Pt 2 by sazzlette
Fandom, Pairing: Supernatural, sort of. More J2.
Summary: It’s the weirdest thing. Jared’s probably the only who notices, though, because he’s the only one who pays that much attention to Jensen.
“- and cut!” Kripke yells, and Jared immediately drops his shovel; he likes doing his own stunts and all, but gravedigging isn’t exactly adrenaline-pumping. He notices Jensen giving him a look before dropping his own shovel and dusting off his hands.
Not one of those kind of looks, though, which is a damn crying shame. They’ve been working together for almost three weeks now, and Jared’s initial innocent crush has already taken twists and turns into full-blown infatuation.
“Let’s go eat,” Jared says, because he’s always hungry, but he doubts he’d ever be able to satisfy that particular hunger, and he needs something to keep him from trying.
Jensen shrugs and follows him to the catering table, where he simply grabs a handful of chips. Jared gives him a disbelieving look over his own two overflowing plates of various foods.
“Dude, are you kidding? That scene was exhausting, how can you not be hungry?”
Jensen looks confused and uncomfortable for a second, then shrugs. “Guess I’ve just got more stamina,” he says easily, giving Jared one of those goddamn charming smiles, and Jared shovels in a spoonful of pasta to prevent himself from saying something inappropriate, like ‘Prove it, then’.
In bed.
Jared can feel himself blushing, and tries to ignore the way Jensen is eyeing him curiously. He forces down another mouthful of pasta even though he hasn’t finished the first, and feels oddly relieved when Jensen shrugs and reaches out for a sandwich.
*
It’s the weirdest thing.
Well, not in the world ever, because there’s probably a lot of shit way stranger. But still. It’s the weirdest thing.
Jared’s probably the only who notices, though, because he’s the only one who pays that much attention to Jensen. But he’s sure he isn’t just imagining it.
It’s been about four months into filming now, and Jared’s still jerking off to thoughts of Jensen every night. And then he has to have at least two turkey sandwiches before his stomach will stop growling. What, he’s a growing boy, even at 6’4”. He realizes this particular trait might just be particular to him, of course, not everyone eats like they’re preparing for famine. But Jensen - he’s never seen Jensen eat anything more than a standard single-serving.
For a while he worried that maybe Jensen had an eating disorder, but no way anyone had muscles like that when starving themselves. Not to mention Jensen was always ready for their physical stunts and never tired after. From what Jared read up on eating disorders, fatigue and lethargy usually set in at some point.
So, maybe Jensen just doesn’t require a lot of food. Jared can sort of understand.
But that isn’t even the weirdest part.
Jensen has a habit of…observing people. Not in the way Jared covertly watches him, or not even in a shy-watching-from-the-sidelines sort of way. Jensen - it almost seems to be like he’s trying to learn human behavior from observation and imitation. Because Jared has noticed, after Jensen’s seen someone do something, he tends to imitate it.
Jared tries not to think too hard about what he’d like Jensen to observe and imitate. It’s probably just an actor thing, anyway.
*
After one extremely ordinary day of filming an extremely boring scene - the only good thing is they put Jensen into truly amazing jeans - they are playing video games in Jared’s trailer, when Jensen suddenly stops, midway thrashing Jared’s ass, leans over and kisses him.
Jared freezes. It’s not like he hasn’t been wanting it, but it’s more than unexpected and also Jensen has that odd observing-a-test-study-curiously look on his face.
“Did I do it wrong?” Jensen asks anxiously.
Jared laughs, not because it’s funny or anything; he just has the vague sensation of losing his mind. “No, no - it’s just -”
“You seem to be interested in me, and I thought that was what I was supposed to do,” Jensen explains, kind of too seriously.
“Supposed to do? What, are you experimenting on me?” Jared asks, half-joking, but Jensen seems flustered, and suddenly he’s pissed off. “Look, man, you can’t just mess around with me, okay? I really like you.”
Jensen looks lost and confused. “I - I don’t - I’m sorry, I can’t compute.”
“Did you just say you can’t compute?” Jared demands. This is really getting kind of fucked up.
Jensen looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm. “I mean, I don’t understand, I’ve never -”
“Never?”
Jensen’s face twists up into a miserable expression. “Did I say something wrong again?”
“Okay, this has gone on long enough,” Jared declares, not so much pissed off as fucking freaked out. “Why are you talking like this is all foreign and new to you? I mean, it’s not like you were raised in the wild or created in a lab or something.”
Jensen’s face gets all funny again, and Jared sort of feels his heart stop beating.
“Jesus, you’ve got to be kidding me. You were raised in the wild?”
Jensen scowls like he wants to smack Jared on the head.
“Oh, you mean - the other - holy fucking Christ, what the hell are you?”
“I am a Bionic Intelligent Organism Number Six-Eight-Nine. Bionsen, for short.”
Jared thinks he is actually about to have a heart attack.
“Are you fucking with me?” he demands. “Because, swear to God, Jensen, if you are…”
“Bionsen,” Jensen - Bionsen - whatever corrects him. “And I’m serious. Ask me to compute something.”
“To c - you’ve got to be kidding me,” Jared mutters, but Jensen gives him an eager look, like a puppy wanting to show off a new trick. “Okay, fine. What’s…33786 multiplied by 98234?”
“3318933924,” Jensen replies immediately.
“Okay, I wouldn’t even know if that was right or not. Don’t you have like, a detachable arm or something?”
Jensen pauses, and for a minute Jared thinks he’s going to pass out if Jensen really takes off his arm. “No, because the wires have to be attached. But,” he adds thoughtfully, “I have a tattoo.”
Jared only wants to see this tattoo to verify Jensen’s story. Really.
Jensen’s hands reach for the fastenings on his jeans, and shamelessly undoes them, before wriggling them down a few inches. “Right there,” he points out, just as Jared has forgotten to keep breathing.
Jared is only leaning in to verify the tattoo’s authenticity.
Really.
“Look, you can’t - you can’t tell anyone,” Jensen says pleadingly, giving him a wide-eyed look that has Jared sort of crumbling on the inside. “If they found out, I’d - just please don’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything, just don’t tell.”
Jared is a horrible, horrible human being for wanting Jensen’s ‘anything’ to be sex, and lots of it.
But well. Jensen - or Bionsen - isn’t really a person, so it’s not like Jared’s taking advantage.
Right?
Jared is also a horrible, sick person, because he still wants to fuck Jensen blind, even though he’s just discovered it’s actually Bionsen and not a person, and since when did he become one of those perverts who have sex with inanimate objects?
But seriously, Bionsen is fucking hot.
And not exactly inanimate, after all, and he did make the first move, and Jared thinks he’ll just blame the aftershock for his actions.
He reaches out and touches the tattoo. Jensen/Bionsen shivers and moans a little, then looks apologetic, though Jared has no fucking clue what the hell for.
“It’s a programmed reaction,” Jensen says quietly.
“Seriously? They programmed you for - this?”
Jensen nods. “All the way to sexual climax.”
Jared’s been meaning to take more of an interest in the wonders of modern technology.
*
*
Okay, I realise this is a crappy point to stop, but I cannot write the porn. That, I leave to my darling enabler, sazzlette! Watch this space for the link when she posts.
Also, I apologize to anyone who was actually looking forward to when I promised new fic. I have had alcohol, and I place all blame solely upon this fact. I need to have something that keeps me from going online when I am drunk in any form.
And being in the slightly inebriated state that I am, I went "okay!"
One and a half hours later, here I am. Sazz was supposed to collab with me but she disappeared and I feel jumpy about leaving the document on my daddy's laptop, so I'm posting now, that I can delete the file.
Title: Not Quite Human Pt 1
Author: jennuine, Pt 2 by sazzlette
Fandom, Pairing: Supernatural, sort of. More J2.
Summary: It’s the weirdest thing. Jared’s probably the only who notices, though, because he’s the only one who pays that much attention to Jensen.
“- and cut!” Kripke yells, and Jared immediately drops his shovel; he likes doing his own stunts and all, but gravedigging isn’t exactly adrenaline-pumping. He notices Jensen giving him a look before dropping his own shovel and dusting off his hands.
Not one of those kind of looks, though, which is a damn crying shame. They’ve been working together for almost three weeks now, and Jared’s initial innocent crush has already taken twists and turns into full-blown infatuation.
“Let’s go eat,” Jared says, because he’s always hungry, but he doubts he’d ever be able to satisfy that particular hunger, and he needs something to keep him from trying.
Jensen shrugs and follows him to the catering table, where he simply grabs a handful of chips. Jared gives him a disbelieving look over his own two overflowing plates of various foods.
“Dude, are you kidding? That scene was exhausting, how can you not be hungry?”
Jensen looks confused and uncomfortable for a second, then shrugs. “Guess I’ve just got more stamina,” he says easily, giving Jared one of those goddamn charming smiles, and Jared shovels in a spoonful of pasta to prevent himself from saying something inappropriate, like ‘Prove it, then’.
In bed.
Jared can feel himself blushing, and tries to ignore the way Jensen is eyeing him curiously. He forces down another mouthful of pasta even though he hasn’t finished the first, and feels oddly relieved when Jensen shrugs and reaches out for a sandwich.
*
It’s the weirdest thing.
Well, not in the world ever, because there’s probably a lot of shit way stranger. But still. It’s the weirdest thing.
Jared’s probably the only who notices, though, because he’s the only one who pays that much attention to Jensen. But he’s sure he isn’t just imagining it.
It’s been about four months into filming now, and Jared’s still jerking off to thoughts of Jensen every night. And then he has to have at least two turkey sandwiches before his stomach will stop growling. What, he’s a growing boy, even at 6’4”. He realizes this particular trait might just be particular to him, of course, not everyone eats like they’re preparing for famine. But Jensen - he’s never seen Jensen eat anything more than a standard single-serving.
For a while he worried that maybe Jensen had an eating disorder, but no way anyone had muscles like that when starving themselves. Not to mention Jensen was always ready for their physical stunts and never tired after. From what Jared read up on eating disorders, fatigue and lethargy usually set in at some point.
So, maybe Jensen just doesn’t require a lot of food. Jared can sort of understand.
But that isn’t even the weirdest part.
Jensen has a habit of…observing people. Not in the way Jared covertly watches him, or not even in a shy-watching-from-the-sidelines sort of way. Jensen - it almost seems to be like he’s trying to learn human behavior from observation and imitation. Because Jared has noticed, after Jensen’s seen someone do something, he tends to imitate it.
Jared tries not to think too hard about what he’d like Jensen to observe and imitate. It’s probably just an actor thing, anyway.
*
After one extremely ordinary day of filming an extremely boring scene - the only good thing is they put Jensen into truly amazing jeans - they are playing video games in Jared’s trailer, when Jensen suddenly stops, midway thrashing Jared’s ass, leans over and kisses him.
Jared freezes. It’s not like he hasn’t been wanting it, but it’s more than unexpected and also Jensen has that odd observing-a-test-study-curiously look on his face.
“Did I do it wrong?” Jensen asks anxiously.
Jared laughs, not because it’s funny or anything; he just has the vague sensation of losing his mind. “No, no - it’s just -”
“You seem to be interested in me, and I thought that was what I was supposed to do,” Jensen explains, kind of too seriously.
“Supposed to do? What, are you experimenting on me?” Jared asks, half-joking, but Jensen seems flustered, and suddenly he’s pissed off. “Look, man, you can’t just mess around with me, okay? I really like you.”
Jensen looks lost and confused. “I - I don’t - I’m sorry, I can’t compute.”
“Did you just say you can’t compute?” Jared demands. This is really getting kind of fucked up.
Jensen looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm. “I mean, I don’t understand, I’ve never -”
“Never?”
Jensen’s face twists up into a miserable expression. “Did I say something wrong again?”
“Okay, this has gone on long enough,” Jared declares, not so much pissed off as fucking freaked out. “Why are you talking like this is all foreign and new to you? I mean, it’s not like you were raised in the wild or created in a lab or something.”
Jensen’s face gets all funny again, and Jared sort of feels his heart stop beating.
“Jesus, you’ve got to be kidding me. You were raised in the wild?”
Jensen scowls like he wants to smack Jared on the head.
“Oh, you mean - the other - holy fucking Christ, what the hell are you?”
“I am a Bionic Intelligent Organism Number Six-Eight-Nine. Bionsen, for short.”
Jared thinks he is actually about to have a heart attack.
“Are you fucking with me?” he demands. “Because, swear to God, Jensen, if you are…”
“Bionsen,” Jensen - Bionsen - whatever corrects him. “And I’m serious. Ask me to compute something.”
“To c - you’ve got to be kidding me,” Jared mutters, but Jensen gives him an eager look, like a puppy wanting to show off a new trick. “Okay, fine. What’s…33786 multiplied by 98234?”
“3318933924,” Jensen replies immediately.
“Okay, I wouldn’t even know if that was right or not. Don’t you have like, a detachable arm or something?”
Jensen pauses, and for a minute Jared thinks he’s going to pass out if Jensen really takes off his arm. “No, because the wires have to be attached. But,” he adds thoughtfully, “I have a tattoo.”
Jared only wants to see this tattoo to verify Jensen’s story. Really.
Jensen’s hands reach for the fastenings on his jeans, and shamelessly undoes them, before wriggling them down a few inches. “Right there,” he points out, just as Jared has forgotten to keep breathing.
Jared is only leaning in to verify the tattoo’s authenticity.
Really.
“Look, you can’t - you can’t tell anyone,” Jensen says pleadingly, giving him a wide-eyed look that has Jared sort of crumbling on the inside. “If they found out, I’d - just please don’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything, just don’t tell.”
Jared is a horrible, horrible human being for wanting Jensen’s ‘anything’ to be sex, and lots of it.
But well. Jensen - or Bionsen - isn’t really a person, so it’s not like Jared’s taking advantage.
Right?
Jared is also a horrible, sick person, because he still wants to fuck Jensen blind, even though he’s just discovered it’s actually Bionsen and not a person, and since when did he become one of those perverts who have sex with inanimate objects?
But seriously, Bionsen is fucking hot.
And not exactly inanimate, after all, and he did make the first move, and Jared thinks he’ll just blame the aftershock for his actions.
He reaches out and touches the tattoo. Jensen/Bionsen shivers and moans a little, then looks apologetic, though Jared has no fucking clue what the hell for.
“It’s a programmed reaction,” Jensen says quietly.
“Seriously? They programmed you for - this?”
Jensen nods. “All the way to sexual climax.”
Jared’s been meaning to take more of an interest in the wonders of modern technology.
*
*
Okay, I realise this is a crappy point to stop, but I cannot write the porn. That, I leave to my darling enabler, sazzlette! Watch this space for the link when she posts.
Also, I apologize to anyone who was actually looking forward to when I promised new fic. I have had alcohol, and I place all blame solely upon this fact. I need to have something that keeps me from going online when I am drunk in any form.