musings...
Okay, so I've been contemplating my RL posts on LJ. Generally they're sort of mundane and/or whiny, with the few occasional items of vague interest to other people. This is why I am neither uber-popular, nor king of my own little fandom-verse, nor able to command scores of minions to do my bidding as and when I wish. (Admittedly, items one and/or two would lead to number three, so I just need to get one out of three in order to achieve two out of three, which might eventually lead to three out of three.) Short of building that mind-control satellite I've always dreamed of, there arent many ways to reach my goals.
Which somehow does lead to my point: I've decided to jazz things up a little!
Examining some popular blogs/people/sites, I have come to the conclusion that I need a certain quota of:
(i) Humour (or something moonlighting as it)
(ii) Actual subject matter
(iii) Bizarreness/Randomness/Things that make people think I am quirky and possess a refreshing point of view despite the fact I am really just talk out of my ass (ETA: This is an appreciated talent somewhere in the world, it has to be.)
(iv) Intelligence (this is debatable, but naming specific examples of when this is unnecessary will surely lead to a sharp decline in my field of potential minions, as I figure I need fairly gullible folk. Ones whom I shall flatter into believing they really are intelligent for agreeing to spend thousands of dollars upon a pair of high-quality shoes and/or lingerie for me.)
(v) Witty quips/extracts of conversations (optional, usually only for people who are actually witty and/or have witty friends to have conversations with. Or friends at all, really. Or a life in which there are people to speak to. Or, failing that, an imaginary life, which is quite likely the category I myself fall into.)
(vi) Established achievements (i.e. having already written something well-known throughout fandom/being published/owning a small country, &c. Unfortunately this is difficult to accomplish. Fortunately it is not essential!)
So! I have a new resolution. By sticking to these carefully observed rules (well, these conceptual ideas that I imagine might somewhere be possibly true), I plan to be a 'Friend Of' of thousands of people who will fawn over every word that I type out, and who offer to buy me La Perla corsets (I will agree to pose in these corsets for their amusement, of course. I'm no Nazi!), in the space of, say...four years. When I am 25, I will hopefully be running an underground government that places fashion, food and good literature above all else.
Will you all help me with this quest? I promise you all high-ranking spots in my new world order, as well as a continuous supply of sassy stilletto boots/pretty lingerie/well-written books. All you have to do is let me know if I am within guidelines each time I post, and if you maybe want to recruit friends into subscribing to my manifesto, I would appreciate it! (Perhaps I should try one of those pyramid schemes. I hear they are successful in the short run.)
Next up on this journal: Several witty and entertaining extracts of conversation that I have with my family, friends, dogs and complete strangers! You will not want to miss it! Or, if I actually get my brain to FOCUS on any of the unfinished word documents in my hard drive, a new chapter of an unfinished fic or a whole shiny NEW fic! Which you will also not want to miss! Either way, stay tuned!
PS - A quick claiming of my rules as intellectual property, meaning that if any of you use this formula to achieve my goals before I do, I shall be very upset and send many angry looks your way. Unless you placate me with some top-notch kitchen utensils. But I might still glower every now and then.
ETA: Now with corrected grammar and added incentives! You see what a great leader I would be? I listen to my subjects.
Which somehow does lead to my point: I've decided to jazz things up a little!
Examining some popular blogs/people/sites, I have come to the conclusion that I need a certain quota of:
(i) Humour (or something moonlighting as it)
(ii) Actual subject matter
(iii) Bizarreness/Randomness/Things that make people think I am quirky and possess a refreshing point of view despite the fact I am really just talk out of my ass (ETA: This is an appreciated talent somewhere in the world, it has to be.)
(iv) Intelligence (this is debatable, but naming specific examples of when this is unnecessary will surely lead to a sharp decline in my field of potential minions, as I figure I need fairly gullible folk. Ones whom I shall flatter into believing they really are intelligent for agreeing to spend thousands of dollars upon a pair of high-quality shoes and/or lingerie for me.)
(v) Witty quips/extracts of conversations (optional, usually only for people who are actually witty and/or have witty friends to have conversations with. Or friends at all, really. Or a life in which there are people to speak to. Or, failing that, an imaginary life, which is quite likely the category I myself fall into.)
(vi) Established achievements (i.e. having already written something well-known throughout fandom/being published/owning a small country, &c. Unfortunately this is difficult to accomplish. Fortunately it is not essential!)
So! I have a new resolution. By sticking to these carefully observed rules (well, these conceptual ideas that I imagine might somewhere be possibly true), I plan to be a 'Friend Of' of thousands of people who will fawn over every word that I type out, and who offer to buy me La Perla corsets (I will agree to pose in these corsets for their amusement, of course. I'm no Nazi!), in the space of, say...four years. When I am 25, I will hopefully be running an underground government that places fashion, food and good literature above all else.
Will you all help me with this quest? I promise you all high-ranking spots in my new world order, as well as a continuous supply of sassy stilletto boots/pretty lingerie/well-written books. All you have to do is let me know if I am within guidelines each time I post, and if you maybe want to recruit friends into subscribing to my manifesto, I would appreciate it! (Perhaps I should try one of those pyramid schemes. I hear they are successful in the short run.)
Next up on this journal: Several witty and entertaining extracts of conversation that I have with my family, friends, dogs and complete strangers! You will not want to miss it! Or, if I actually get my brain to FOCUS on any of the unfinished word documents in my hard drive, a new chapter of an unfinished fic or a whole shiny NEW fic! Which you will also not want to miss! Either way, stay tuned!
PS - A quick claiming of my rules as intellectual property, meaning that if any of you use this formula to achieve my goals before I do, I shall be very upset and send many angry looks your way. Unless you placate me with some top-notch kitchen utensils. But I might still glower every now and then.
ETA: Now with corrected grammar and added incentives! You see what a great leader I would be? I listen to my subjects.