Welcome to my life, chapter 1
Title: Welcome to my life
Genre: slash, drama, fluffy, angst
Pairing: David Desrosiers/ Pierre Bouvier
Fandom: Simple Plan
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Pierre Bouvier is a 17-year old boy who is an outsider at school ‘cause he is too afraid to get to know anyone due to his experiences at his previous school.
David is his classmate who is bullied and gets beaten up almost everyday. What happens when one day their paths cross?
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, the story is a product of my imagination and I don’t get paid for this.
Author’s note: I started this story years ago and after years of not writing at all, I continued writing this with new ideas in mind. It’s still not ready, but hopefully one day I’ll make it to the end.
Chapter 1. Deja vu
Pierre’s PoV.
I was sitting on a bench at my schoolyard and watched as a group of boys were beating one smaller boy. The boy’s name was David and he was in my class. I wasn't doing anything about it ‘cause I was scared and I didn’t want to be bullied again. Before I had moved into the neighborhood, I had been beaten up in school everyday, just because everyone knew I was into boys. That’s why we had moved to another neighborhood in Montreal. After moving here I hadn’t had the courage to get to know anyone ‘cause eventually they would find out I was gay, so I didn’t have any friends. But it was better than getting beaten up and called names everyday. No one simply just wasn’t acknowledging me at all. It felt bad, to be honest, but at least I wasn’t physically bullied.
I took my notebook where I had been writing song lyrics out of my school bag ‘cause suddenly an inspiration for a song hit me like a tidal wave out of nowhere. I also took a pen out of my bag before turning a new page out of my notebook. I started letting out my thoughts and feelings on the paper as words and sentences.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be okay!
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like!
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
I thought about David as I was writing the lyrics. I felt bad ‘cause I knew what it was like to be beaten up every fucking day. I knew exactly how much it hurted, not only physically but also emotionally. Yet I still didn’t have the courage to go save him from the bullies. I felt like shit. I got a choking feeling on my throat and I felt like crying ‘cause I was such a selfish piece of shit. I closed my notebook and abandoned it on the bench before starting to run towards the closest toilet. As I got to the toilet stall I let myself slump on the floor of the toilet and let my tears spill out of my eyes.
David’s PoV.
Tears were falling along my cheeks. My body was aching all over and I felt like dying. Actually I hoped I was dead, at least then I wouldn’t feel all this pain my bullies had caused me.
My bullies had gone home probably about an hour ago, but I hadn't had the strength even to move my finger, let alone get up. Eventually I got up slowly and painfully from the concrete beneath me. What the fuck have I ever done to them to deserve this? I’ve barely ever even glanced at their direction. What made people beat up innocent people like this? I couldn’t even defend myself. I limp slowly to the closest bench where earlier that weird, silent boy from my class had been sitting. I think Pierre was his name.
Suddenly I noticed a black notebook lying on the bench as I almost sat on it. I look at it confusedly and take it in my hand. I was pretty sure whose it was, but nevertheless I turned the first page to search for the name of the owner. Immediately I found it. On the top of the first page there was a name, Pierre Bouvier. My curiosity takes over and I start reading the writing on the pages. It’s half full of texts that are clearly song lyrics. The last one was what took my attention the most. Welcome to my life. It was like straight from my life. But why was Pierre writing something like this? He wasn’t the one who got bullied and beaten up everyday at school. When I thought about it more, he never got bullied, not even verbally. I wasn’t even sure if anyone even noticed him at school. I could live with that. I started to think how I was gonna get home when everything hurted. I couldn’t call my mom, she would be drunk anyway and she didn’t even seem to care about me anymore. My dad had disappeared from my life a long time ago. I don’t even know if he’s alive. I closed my eyes. I just wanted to die. Nobody would care anyway.
*
I woke up in my own bed. I didn’t know how I got there or whether it was night or morning or anything really, but I didn’t really even care. Every part of my body was still hurting and even the thought of getting up seemed impossible. I can’t hear any sound in the house so I guess my mom was probably passed out or something. Either way she wouldn’t care how I was doing. I sighed and looked at the time from my phone. It was eight pm. Then I notice the black notebook and realize that I probably should give it back to Pierre tomorrow at school. If I’m even able to go there. Suddenly my stomach growled loudly and I decided to try to go downstairs. Slowly I get into a sitting position on my bed grimacing with pain. After sitting there for a moment I finally got up from the bed.
Finally I made it to the kitchen. As I guessed, I saw mom laying on the couch, passed out, as I walked by. I opened the door of the fridge, just to notice that there wasn’t anything except the light. Of course mom hadn’t gone to the grocery store. I should’ve guessed. Instead I took a painkiller from the medicine cabinet and swallowed it with water. After a while, I felt a bit better. Then I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself from the mirror. I was staring at the small emo boy with pale skin, black hair whose face was bruised and make-up had run across his face. I washed away the make-up, not bothering to do it again. I put my shoes on and started heading towards the grocery store to buy myself something to eat, since mom didn’t bother to do it.
Pierre’s PoV.
I sat in my room thinking of where the hell had my notebook disappeared. I felt weird not having it with me or even knowing where it was. I was pretty sure I had left it on the bench as I went to cry in the toilet of the school, but when I came back it wasn’t there anymore. Who would steal my angsty lyrics? They weren’t even worth stealing. I was so bad at everything I ever did. Well, maybe I will find it someday. And so what if I didn’t? What the hell did I even do with the lyrics when they weren’t good? It was just a way for me to vent since I didn’t have any friends to talk to. It’s not like I would never start a band ‘cause I wouldn’t have the courage to go on stage and perform and also no one would want to be in my band. I was just a disgusting gay boy, who wasn’t good at anything.
*
Next morning I arrived at my math lesson a bit late, but the teacher didn't even notice that I’m late or that I even came there. I could as well be at home sleeping. She didn’t care. I’m invisible even to the teachers. Instead, David was staring at me half of the lesson and I kept thinking what the hell was his problem. His staring was making me feel uncomfortable.
After the lesson I noticed that David was walking towards me and I started panicking in my head ‘cause I wasn’t used to this. Why was he walking towards me? What would he possibly want to talk to me about?
“Uh… Hi”, he said
“Hi”, I answered quietly, barely even looking at him.
“I found your notebook from the bench outside”, he said and motioned towards the schoolyard before taking the notebook from his bag and handing it to me.
“Thanks. I was wondering where it disappeared”, I said as I got my ability to talk and survived the confusion. I looked at David. Probably for the first time I really looked at him and noticed that he was actually cute. But I couldn’t have a crush on him or anyone else. I didn’t want to move again. I noticed that David was also looking at me and I blushed a little, turning my look away.
“Um… Would you like… No, never mind. They would just beat you up too”, David said with a sad sigh and started walking away from me.
“Hey, wait”, I said after him, surprising even myself. He turned to look at me surprised and confused.
“Just… Ask what you were about to ask”, I said.
“Umm… I was just going to ask, would you like to hang out with me at school? And why not outside of school too if you want ‘cause you seem lonely and I don’t have any friends either?” David asked shyly.
“Yeah, I’d like that”, I answered. David seemed nice and he didn’t deserve to be the school’s punching bag
“Oh… That’s nice. You’ve probably noticed that I get beaten up a lot, but if it doesn’t disturb you that they’ll probably start doing that to you too, that’s great”, David said.
“Yeah… I know. It’s okay, wouldn’t be the first time I get beaten up”, I said. It wasn’t completely true. Of course it wasn’t okay to get beaten up again, I was just too lonely to care. After two years someone was interested in getting to know me and possibly be my friend so maybe it was worth it to get beaten up sometimes. At least I didn’t have to face it alone.
“Well… Maybe we could go sit over there?” David asked, pointing at a bench quite close to us.
“Yeah, sure”, I answered and we started walking towards the bench.
“Umm… Pierre, I should tell you something”, David said quietly, looking at his shoes.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“When I found your notebook, I read it a bit”, David admitted and blushed.
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have”, he continued.
“Oh… Um, it’s okay, I guess”, I said.
“Oh, good. But how come “Welcome to my life” is almost like straight from my life?” David asked, looking at me confusedly.
“Well… I was thinking about you when I wrote it, but also about myself”, I answered.
“But you’re not getting beaten up?” David asked.
“Well, not here.. At least yet, but in my previous school I got beaten up almost everyday”, I answered.
“Really?” David asked, surprised. I nodded.
“Um.. I probably should tell you something so you can run away”, I said. David looked at me with a questioning look. I was silent for a moment and looked at my shoes.
“I’m gay”, I told him and turned to look at him. He looked back at me, not looking very horrified, just a bit surprised.
“Oh… So am I”, he said with a sad smile. I nodded and let out a relieved sigh.
Suddenly a large group of guys came over in front of us and my heart skipped a beat or two.
“Well well well… Look at that. Our little emo fag has found himself a boyfriend”, one of the guys said as the others laughed at his sentence.
The guy that had been talking looked at me from head to toe with a judgmental look on his face, making me feel uncomfortable.
Suddenly the bells rang for next class.
“We’re gonna get going. See ya later, fags”, the same guy said before they started heading towards their class.
“We should probably head to class too?” I asked.
“What would you say if we skipped the rest of the day? It’s not like we’re gonna learn anything in biology class anyway. And also we wouldn’t get beaten up today. I’m still sore from yesterday”, David suggested. I shrugged.
“I’ve never skipped school, but what do I have to lose? The teacher probably won’t even notice that I’m not there”, I answered. David nodded before we got up from the bench and started walking away from the school.