Mar 20, 2007 12:50
Needless to say this past week has been really draining in all kinds of ways. Driving back and forth, exhaustion. And emotionally of course, not only dealing with my own emotions about loss, but watching my Grandpa go through this process of grieving, where none of us can stop the aching for her. They spent everyday together since they were 7 and 8. That is rare in this world. They were one person. And now he has to live the rest of his life without her. We're all trying to tell him and assure him she's watching over him, and is right beside him, but he is doubting everything they believed about souls. But I know she's there with him. It's heartbreaking to see him choke up and cry every time he mentions a story from their past.
I just hope that although he'll never be happy in the same way he was with her, that he'll be able to find a different kind of happiness. I think he will, it's just time that needs to pass.
I am just sad and disappointed that some of her happiest years were cut so short...
Anyway it feels like spring today. I took Riley on a really long walk and took him in the car with me on some short errands. He liked it, with the windows rolled down.
I can't believe spring break is already over. I got into C.W. Post so you can imagine that my motivation to do anything more at Sarah Lawrence is non-existent. I wish I could drop out, and get a job until Post starts in the fall, but that would never happen. I just don't see the point in it. I have all the pieces now, I just have to work on putting the ones in place that I can, and let the others fall in beside each other.
Hopefully I can see Zack this weekend. Jesus I am sorry this is such a long post!
Anyway I don't care who you are, or whatever, but if you have a Livejournal, and I know you, or you've seen me, or we've talked once, add me! I need more LJ friends. I don't care if you found my screename in a creepy "stalker" type way add me anyway I don't care! Or comment and let me know. I'll make one of those "add me pages" SO DO IT.