(no subject)
so i met up with steph, trina, and danya last night. we went to a friend's xmas party and then went out to the bars. it was a fun night. i saw a ton of people i havent seen in a long time. a lot of them didnt recognize me. two guys, dan and jordan, who i knew in high school but wasnt good friends with hung out with us a lot. they kept telling me they "couldnt belive how different i looked" finally when they got drunk they told me i looked good. haha, thats all i wanted to hear.
today jamie came into town. we went up to my aunt's house and had a lil xmas thin with someof my aunts, uncles, and cousins. omg, everyone is getting so old. i used to babysit my cousins and now they are all teenagers. everyone who is old enough has a bf or gf except me. i seriously am the only one in my entire (huge) family that is 15 or older that is not in a relationship. i bet i am the last one to get married. even my youngest cousins (8 yrs) will marry before i do. i think i am having a mid-life crisis now because of this.
everyone i talk to from hs isnt really doing anything with their lives. a lot of them aree going to college, but soooo many of them are still working the same job they had in high school. i cant believe that people are satisfied with their lives. i guess i have always wanted better for myself. i have always challenged myself to achieve my highest dreams and luckily i am successfully doing so.
sad thing: i was wishing i would move back to winona last night and today. i think it was mainly due to the alcohal though. i ran into this kid, jeff, who is 4 yrs older than me and i always thought he was cute. i told him that, too. haha. part of me wants to have a nice country lifestyle - slow and simple. i want to be able to wear flannel to the bar, with no make up, and put plastic bags in my boots to go outside to shovel the snow. there's something romantic about cowboys, not really sure why i have decided this, i think i have listened to too much country music lately. for some reason i have just imagined myself with this winona lifestyle and have been thinking i could have been happier like this. god, that is horrible. i know i could never go back to this life. my insides are already feeling like they are going to burst out of me due to the slow pace i have forced myself to accomodate to. my minnesota accent is back and i can have long conversations about corn and cows. i want to sit indoors with corn-burning fireplace roaring, baking cookies, listening to christmas songs, while looking out my front windows at the quiet winter night - star-filled sky, snowing glittering in the moonlight, frost on the windows.
but then i'm snapped back into reality. the materialistic, fast-paced lifestyle of the phoenix metropolis area. surrounded my people who dont care, no longer finding pleasure in the simple things in life. wishing i could slow down, and take in the scenery. but i guess that just isnt me. i would go crazy, burst at the seems, explode.
why doesgoing to Minnesota always induce this kind of personal refelction.
today jamie came into town. we went up to my aunt's house and had a lil xmas thin with someof my aunts, uncles, and cousins. omg, everyone is getting so old. i used to babysit my cousins and now they are all teenagers. everyone who is old enough has a bf or gf except me. i seriously am the only one in my entire (huge) family that is 15 or older that is not in a relationship. i bet i am the last one to get married. even my youngest cousins (8 yrs) will marry before i do. i think i am having a mid-life crisis now because of this.
everyone i talk to from hs isnt really doing anything with their lives. a lot of them aree going to college, but soooo many of them are still working the same job they had in high school. i cant believe that people are satisfied with their lives. i guess i have always wanted better for myself. i have always challenged myself to achieve my highest dreams and luckily i am successfully doing so.
sad thing: i was wishing i would move back to winona last night and today. i think it was mainly due to the alcohal though. i ran into this kid, jeff, who is 4 yrs older than me and i always thought he was cute. i told him that, too. haha. part of me wants to have a nice country lifestyle - slow and simple. i want to be able to wear flannel to the bar, with no make up, and put plastic bags in my boots to go outside to shovel the snow. there's something romantic about cowboys, not really sure why i have decided this, i think i have listened to too much country music lately. for some reason i have just imagined myself with this winona lifestyle and have been thinking i could have been happier like this. god, that is horrible. i know i could never go back to this life. my insides are already feeling like they are going to burst out of me due to the slow pace i have forced myself to accomodate to. my minnesota accent is back and i can have long conversations about corn and cows. i want to sit indoors with corn-burning fireplace roaring, baking cookies, listening to christmas songs, while looking out my front windows at the quiet winter night - star-filled sky, snowing glittering in the moonlight, frost on the windows.
but then i'm snapped back into reality. the materialistic, fast-paced lifestyle of the phoenix metropolis area. surrounded my people who dont care, no longer finding pleasure in the simple things in life. wishing i could slow down, and take in the scenery. but i guess that just isnt me. i would go crazy, burst at the seems, explode.
why doesgoing to Minnesota always induce this kind of personal refelction.