(no subject)
its been a rough break. i knew that it was going to be, and i tried to prepare myself though i dont think it was possible to prepare myself enough for this trip home.
my grandma had a bad reaction to the chemotherapy and ended up in the hospital on christmas eve and has been there since. she doesnt remember christmas eve or christmas day but i guess she was quite delerious. she woke up this morning thinking that she was at the funeral home. she called my mother and told her to take her out of the funeral home because she wasnt dead yet. i guess it took quite a while for my mom to convince grandma that she was still at the hospital. the doctors think the cancer has spead to her back and possibly to her brain. they are doing a CAT scan today to see what is going on.
my parents have both changed. obviously my grandmother's illness has done a number on my mom. i only got two home-cooked meals out of the 6 days i spent with my mom, she used to cook every meal and took joy in cooking dinner for family. now she barely eats and is worrying constantly. i'm worried about her, but i doubt there is anything i can do.
my dad made about 1000 cookies in a week out of boredom since he was layed off from his job. he made 3 pies and a cake in the last few days. its interesting to watch my dad's behavior now. its apparent that he didn't really love my mom in the way that people should. he didnt help her with anything. now he makes dinner, sets the table, washes dishes, does the laundry... its very odd to see him doing these things.
i guess that is just the way things go though... constantly changing. these are changes that i can't observe over the telephone. its been a year since i've been home, so i guess all the changes just piled up as a big shocker for me to experience all at once.
i can't wait to get back to tempe.
my grandma had a bad reaction to the chemotherapy and ended up in the hospital on christmas eve and has been there since. she doesnt remember christmas eve or christmas day but i guess she was quite delerious. she woke up this morning thinking that she was at the funeral home. she called my mother and told her to take her out of the funeral home because she wasnt dead yet. i guess it took quite a while for my mom to convince grandma that she was still at the hospital. the doctors think the cancer has spead to her back and possibly to her brain. they are doing a CAT scan today to see what is going on.
my parents have both changed. obviously my grandmother's illness has done a number on my mom. i only got two home-cooked meals out of the 6 days i spent with my mom, she used to cook every meal and took joy in cooking dinner for family. now she barely eats and is worrying constantly. i'm worried about her, but i doubt there is anything i can do.
my dad made about 1000 cookies in a week out of boredom since he was layed off from his job. he made 3 pies and a cake in the last few days. its interesting to watch my dad's behavior now. its apparent that he didn't really love my mom in the way that people should. he didnt help her with anything. now he makes dinner, sets the table, washes dishes, does the laundry... its very odd to see him doing these things.
i guess that is just the way things go though... constantly changing. these are changes that i can't observe over the telephone. its been a year since i've been home, so i guess all the changes just piled up as a big shocker for me to experience all at once.
i can't wait to get back to tempe.