why can't i always get what i want?
I miss Matt. A lot. I want to cry. But instead I decided to stay dry and write an entry. He called me tonight after we talked online for a bit. The sound of his voice is wonderful; there's nothing else like it. I could just sit there and listen to him for hours and hours. There are soooo many things I like about him, and if anything, it should give me hope--hope that I can SOME day find a guy as good as him. He gives me hope that nice, sweet, caring, sensitive, LISTENING guys are out there and they're not ALL fickle and self-centered and stupid like old what's-his-name.
On the bright side, there is the future. Here and now is fleeting; a new day will show a better way. And if all else fails, I can make it as a poet! (or not).
So what do I do? It's TORTURE to talk to him on the phone once every three weeks for half an hour because I really like him--is it so bad to want more? Yes, it is, because he lives in a far away land and you know that long distance is just an invitation for instability and all that CRAP. So do I just put everything on hold, even this "friendship" thing we're trying out? I don't think so. So do I just suck it up, be a friend, and move on with life? Obviously, yes. Everything works out for the best. Maybe we're meant to be, but probably not. So I should just save myself the heartache and stop daydreaming about us being together. But I think we'd be really really great for like 1001 reasons...
Shit, I can't do this. Who am I fooling? I am a daydreamer by nature. It's like telling a dog that he can't go around peeing on people's lawns. We just do what we have to do.
Enough of this.
I am reminded of a song by the Stones:
"I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "we’re gonna vent our frustration
If we don’t we’re gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
I went down to the chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with mr. jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to mr. jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
You get what you need--yeah, oh baby
I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need"
God, that's a good one.
On the bright side, there is the future. Here and now is fleeting; a new day will show a better way. And if all else fails, I can make it as a poet! (or not).
So what do I do? It's TORTURE to talk to him on the phone once every three weeks for half an hour because I really like him--is it so bad to want more? Yes, it is, because he lives in a far away land and you know that long distance is just an invitation for instability and all that CRAP. So do I just put everything on hold, even this "friendship" thing we're trying out? I don't think so. So do I just suck it up, be a friend, and move on with life? Obviously, yes. Everything works out for the best. Maybe we're meant to be, but probably not. So I should just save myself the heartache and stop daydreaming about us being together. But I think we'd be really really great for like 1001 reasons...
Shit, I can't do this. Who am I fooling? I am a daydreamer by nature. It's like telling a dog that he can't go around peeing on people's lawns. We just do what we have to do.
Enough of this.
I am reminded of a song by the Stones:
"I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "we’re gonna vent our frustration
If we don’t we’re gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
I went down to the chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with mr. jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to mr. jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead"
I said to him
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
You get what you need--yeah, oh baby
I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need"
God, that's a good one.