(no subject)
I had a not so good day. I really just need to vent about everything. I'm warning you now--this is really boring and if I knew how to do one of those linky things, I would, but since I don't, I have to write it all here:
I've been so tired lately and I barely have the energy to do my thing at work--walk around and find clothes for old ladies. It really bothers me when old people come into the store trying to be cool. This is like a twenty/thirty something store--not a fifty/sixity something. This ties into my next rant.
So I've had my eye on this khaki corduroy skirt for a while, but I never wear skirts so I didn't try it on. One day this girl came in and it looked so good on her, so I wanted to give it a shot. There was 15 minutes left in my shift today and I checked for my size. We had it, yay. 15 minutes later I go to try on the skirt and it's gone. I look around and there's this like 45 year old lady carrying it around. Grrr. I told the girls to tell her it looked bad on her, but it didn't work. She ended up buying my size 0 and leaving me with a too big size 2. I called the Denver store and had them put it on hold for me, but it's like a half an hour drive up there and driving alone is so lonely. Anyway, I was pretty pissed about the whole thing and I'm not looking forward to the drive.
Another thought for the day: I am never happy. Standing sideways in front of the full length mirror at work, I realized how thin I have become. I've lost a good 7 or 8 pounds this summer just by exercising, and I eat all the time. I'm always complaining that I'm hungry and if I go longer than 4 hours without eating I feel dizzy and sick. I'm almost too thin though--I felt like a toothpick with a butt sticking out. I just wish I was a little bigger. I don't want to give up exercise, and I don't want to eat until I'm stuffed all the time. I just wish I was taller and "fuller" I guess. I'm sick of being small and short. I feel like I can't make a good presence because I'm overlooked. Gaining weight won't help--then I'll just be pudgy. Maybe putting on more muscle would be good, but that requires a gym, and I won't have one til I'm at school. Am I ever happy? I'm so upset with myself--I used to be too fat, now I'm too thin. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just accept myself for the way I am without always wanting to change? I'm so frustrated.
I've been so tired lately and I barely have the energy to do my thing at work--walk around and find clothes for old ladies. It really bothers me when old people come into the store trying to be cool. This is like a twenty/thirty something store--not a fifty/sixity something. This ties into my next rant.
So I've had my eye on this khaki corduroy skirt for a while, but I never wear skirts so I didn't try it on. One day this girl came in and it looked so good on her, so I wanted to give it a shot. There was 15 minutes left in my shift today and I checked for my size. We had it, yay. 15 minutes later I go to try on the skirt and it's gone. I look around and there's this like 45 year old lady carrying it around. Grrr. I told the girls to tell her it looked bad on her, but it didn't work. She ended up buying my size 0 and leaving me with a too big size 2. I called the Denver store and had them put it on hold for me, but it's like a half an hour drive up there and driving alone is so lonely. Anyway, I was pretty pissed about the whole thing and I'm not looking forward to the drive.
Another thought for the day: I am never happy. Standing sideways in front of the full length mirror at work, I realized how thin I have become. I've lost a good 7 or 8 pounds this summer just by exercising, and I eat all the time. I'm always complaining that I'm hungry and if I go longer than 4 hours without eating I feel dizzy and sick. I'm almost too thin though--I felt like a toothpick with a butt sticking out. I just wish I was a little bigger. I don't want to give up exercise, and I don't want to eat until I'm stuffed all the time. I just wish I was taller and "fuller" I guess. I'm sick of being small and short. I feel like I can't make a good presence because I'm overlooked. Gaining weight won't help--then I'll just be pudgy. Maybe putting on more muscle would be good, but that requires a gym, and I won't have one til I'm at school. Am I ever happy? I'm so upset with myself--I used to be too fat, now I'm too thin. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just accept myself for the way I am without always wanting to change? I'm so frustrated.