Sep 09, 2005 16:29
Someone is out there watching me, but I don't know what to make of it.
This has to be a metephorical someone, yet so many are conviced that this someone exists.
If Someone is watching me, I wonder what they see.
It would be interesting if they saw my sceptisism and recognised it for what is was. So If I'm not prepared to give up everything this Someone who is possibly watching, what does it matter. If there is no Someone then there is no watcher. If there is no watcher then too many feel forgotten and alone. We need to know that there is someone out there watching, someone that understands.
Someone must be doing something for Luck is just a figment of the mind. If we were to rely on Luck nothing would ever turn out the way that it should.
Luck and this Someone can't do what it is I want to. Maybe they can see it, maybe they know. But they can't do anything but watch.
Someone has to see the mistakes. Someone has to understand the reason that these mistakes were made. Someone forgets the consequences and concentrates on the birth of the problem.
It is comforting to imagine that Someone helps us piece our lives together. Maybe even that Someone has it planned for us, just waiting for us to live.
But it is more daring, more heretical, more alluring to think that there is no written script and that we have to make the life. If we didn't live- then there would be no life. What happens to the millions of miscarriages and still-borns. Are their lives still floating around, forgotten and discarded or was all that was written on their to-do-List; "Born. Die."
If we imagine that we are our own scriptwriters then we feel a glimmer of hope and mystery. No one, not even some suspicious Someone knows what we will do. We have to make it happen. If we don't make it happen, it can't.
I am more than my life, I am my thoughts and my dreams. If Someone can see inside those then there is no chance of living. If Someone is intruding on the workings of my mind then there is no chance of forging the future.
The future can't exsist if we are not there to live it, and if Someone is watching every move I make then it is like playing chess against someone who already knows how the game will end.
If Someone is watching me they probably take me as just another sceptic, a budding anarchist that needs to be put under file for future reference. If Someone treats life like an encyclopedia, then they can't truly understand life's diversity and its need for mysteries.