Not worth the read - just a personal necessary rant - i dont have a real diary

[jennee]

So, here's me taking an opportunity to spill my guts so I don't start crying or throw up instead. Sometimes I really question why I am still here. Some of my house mates are total fucks. I realize that I tend to over react sometimes, but this situation is not me overreacting or getting offended easily, it's just a matter of this dude who talks to

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sadface

[pookusmaximus]

I've lived with roommates for the past ten years, because it was just too expensive to live in LA on my own. I've definitely had my share of troubles. It's so hard, and so lonely to live with people you're fighting with, people who don't treat you with respect, and people who simply have nothing in common with you.

I've learned that home is a really important sanctuary. It's imperative that you have a place to go where you don't feel threatened or sad. If you don't, you will feel like your soul and happiness are slowly being chipped away.

Is there a lease that's holding you to this place? Is it a money issue? I understand that both of those things are no small hurdle, but if I may offer a piece of advice...

Life is too short to be unhappy. If there's any way that you can change your situation, do it. You won't be failing, and you won't be "giving up" if you have to make a big life change to keep your happiness intact.

That said, there is always a flip side. The first two years I stayed in Los Angeles, I was fucking miserable, but I wouldn't go home because I thought that meant admitting defeat.

If I hadn't stayed, I never would have become best friends with the best best friend there ever was, Nate. And I wouldn't have met Emily, or Donna, or my fiance, or become as close with the good friends I have now. Recently, I was finally able to leave and move to Washington. I think my life is better for having "stuck it out."

But you still have to do whatever you need to do to get out of your current situation, whether you stay in California or not. It's really important. You can't be happy in your life if you're not happy in your sanctuary.

Sorry for the novel. I hope it works out for you. You'll know what the right decision is if you ask yourself honestly.