[DEATH NOTE] FIC: And All That Could Have Been

[jenhippo]

Title: And All That Could Have Been
Author: jengou
Fandom: Deathnote
Pairings: Mello/Matt
Genre: Angst. I promised I wouldn’t. Self-hatin’ as penance!
Rating: PG-13? IDK. Two boys nekkid in a tub.
Warnings: Spoilers for manga ch99, anime eps35.
Word Count: 1,343
Disclaimer: The boys own ME. I own nothing.
Summary: NOT AS PLANNED XD I mean. There’s only

Comments

[x_drear_x]

T___T the part with Mello's birthday got me. Gahhh this was angsty goodness! I love how you wrote Matt!
"Dude, I was bored. I needed something to pass the time. And I could look down girls’ cleavages while I cut their hair." Just LOL! ♥ ♥
Good good stuff!

[jengou]

Wheee, thank you hun-bun! I was really nervous about Matt - he's so fanonly gay, I thought I'd have to draw neon coloured traffic cones bearing the warning "IN THIS FIC MATT IS STRAIGHT! I KNOW WTFBBQ!" Glad it worked out ok ♥

Mello's bday... T_______T

Thanks again for comment~

[x_drear_x]

Hmmm I think as we might've implied in a comment convo weeeks ago, it makes sense that Matt would be straight in cannon or maybe bi, until he meets Mello >:33 Haha, I gotta admit I had a small heart attack when I read the straightness! xD

Didn't Matt die a week before his birthday or something also? o.O
And yr welcome hun! <33

[jengou]

Yeees~ in canon Matt seems as straight as any characters in Deathnote can possibly be XD He calls Misa cute twice, and they were pretty inappropriate times too considering it was WAR XD But the other day I read a dj where Matt was straight and I was completely blown away. So yeah, had to signpost everywhere that he's straight straight cleavage mmm straight XD

OHSHI- lolololol I totally messed up their birthdays. Faaaaaail~ thanks for the heads up! Edited ♥

[rubbersoul1967]

I don't usually see the more platonic version of their relationship all that often. Despite being in that sort of relationship, they still remain very intimate which is something I really liked and felt was very real. Lovely fic.

[jengou]

Thank you very much! The platonic side of their relationship was something I really wanted to show without being too OOC, I'm so relieved it came out ok. Thanks again for lovely comment!

[hiza_chan]

I know that that was cute as hell and so damn amusing but fuck, that just made it all the more sad. Your Matt and Mello are just so "In-character". I can totally see Matt acting like that, and well, Mello is Mello.

I adored this, even if it did make me cry like a three year old.

[jengou]

Aaah, it was meant to be super depressing! I depressed myself loads writing it, so you're not alone~ *cries with you*

Thank you for such a heartfelt comment though - this was a sort of outlet for my reaction to eps 35 (I am still devastated), and I was so worried about the characterisation. Thanks again!

*_______*

[lumcheng]

Woah, I didn't know you also write ffs *-*
ZOMG, and so awesome!!!
I LOVE this! I love especially, that you made Matt straight *lol*
98% of all m/m-writers, make them both homo XD~
This friendship-thingy is pretty awesome, the way they act together... wow, so sex without sex, you know? XD~

Re: *_______*

[jengou]

Eeee, thank you very much! Hahaha, your 'sex without sex' comment is the beeeest~ that's exactly what I wanted!

And I felt I had to write Matt as straight~ because he so clearly is in canon but fanon Matt is so flamingly gay, it's hilarous XD I'm glad you liked.

Hee hee, I also wrote a short Near/Mello crack fic recently :->

Re: *_______*

[lumcheng]

You think Matt's clearly straight in canon? Hmhm... because of Misa? XD~
Well, I can imagine both, straight and queer. By Mello and by Matt. Hm, when I think about it... I guess they're both bisexual *lol*
Uah, that's so hot, imagine: Mello wants sex, but Matt doesn't, so Mello takes a hot girl and they go into his room - and then Matt becomes jealous *_*
(Uh, may I link this fic on my homepage? It's still under construction, but there will be also a corner with fanfic-recommendations and I'd like to add this ^^)

PS: I just installed msn X__x
(I have trillian, but I didn't know, that trillian also includes msn >_<' stupid me!)

Re: *_______*

[jengou]

Ahh, I take back my comment about Matt being clearly straight! More like, he has potential to be straight? *giggle*

The fact that he comments on Misa's cuteness twice can mean 1) Matt might be straight, 2) Matt's trying to convince himself/Mello that he's straight and 3) Matt's totally Mellosexual and wants to get Mello jealous :DDD I like all of these scenarios~ just this fic explores the first one ;D Ooooh, your fic idea fits into scenario 3! Get writing!

Oooh, I'd be flattered if you link this on your website, thank you :)

Woohoo! gimme your MSN :D mine's i_smoke_curtains [@] hotmail.com just in case ^^

[kofi]

Your portrayal of Matt and Mello was very good. I have a very hard time seeing anyone in Death Note as homosexual, so I'm glad others are the same.

Well, except Near -- but the only reason he's not homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual is because he's nonsexual.

Out of curiousity, which one is your favourite character? Mello or Matt?

[jenhippo]

Thank you very much~ I was worried about the characterisation, so I'm relieved!

In general, Deathnote characters seem pretty nonsexual/asexual. I think Ohba said DN was not a human drama story and hence steered clear of it, but still. Matt though, is quite straight in canon~ Mello I cannot vouch for *stares at midriffs and feathery jackets* XD But I have a total weak spot or Mello's relationship with Hal.

WARGH, I cannot choose! Instinctively, I'd say Matt. But I wonder if I like him because of what he brings out in Mello, and Mello is just kick ass. Oh, I cannot choose ;_;

[kofi]

:< Mello is a lovely diva -- and I confess I, too, have a soft spot for Mello's relationship with Hal.

I was just curious since you can usually tell who the author favours by how they write the character in question. I totally would have pinned your favourite down as Matt, but you did an equally good job with Mello so I was at a stand-still. :d

I wish I could write Mello. I can't. I lack something that is required to nail his personality, but that's just as well: my favourite thing to focus on is Near and the SPK.

MOST PEOPLE PROBABLY FIND THAT BORING BUT HOHOHO OH WELL

[jengou]

Mmm, I smell a Mello fan :D You're totally right in that I put more emphasis on Matt in this story though. I feel there's a pretty big discrepancy between how I see him and how fandom usually sees him, and I wanted to express that. And also because I had already written a fic about Mello and Near XD Matt wanted loving~

I couldn't write Mello in the beginning either, but just have him swear a lot! It helps to get into the flow of his thinking I think XD Oh oh, if you have written fics about Hal I'll read!!!!