(no subject)
Well, recent events/my mindset has put me back on the path towards australia! Glory! I think I was so bogged down in school and Impact that I just didnt have time to really think of australia and the wonderful possibilities it holds. But the season is over, school is ending...it's go time.
I got in a fight with a girl in Impact today, I will not tell the whole story. But it was heartbreaking on my part. I know I won't do it next year, I mean im going to australia, but even so. I had a shitty relationship during the season, which most people thought was fine cause I didn't tell them how shitty my boyfriend was. I didn't break up with him because we spent every weekend together. Now this fight happens and I seem crazy, well im not crazy, im fucking damaged, you assholes. More than you people cared to even know. I really enjoyed performing and spinning...but honestly this was more drama and stress than it was worth. It was so fun at points, but I guess my relationship put a damper on my enjoyment of such an amazing activity.
And what is with everyone having to involve themselves in my bullshit? If I want to let you in on it, Ill tell you. But don't make it about you when it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, GET YOUR OWN LIFE. Im working on actually getting a life now, and that goes beyond color guard. I've realized a lot of these people can't do anything but color guard, and that sure ain't me. To be stuck in a world cause you are uncomfortable with change, and can't face the tough things makes you weak...and im finally seeing that.
wow I sound angry. sorry if this offends anyone...i actually don't think it should because most people who read this are those that do not piss me off ever.
Also, today was our NKE Senior picnic outside, and it was so fun! I don't think we've had one of those in the past. It was really cute. Sarah norton made these wonderful little NKE boxes with our names on them, and they fed us which is always good. Also, at one point they all said things about the seniors. There was only one thing about NKE that made me a little sad...im pretty sure everyone had a big sister that essentially "took care" of them except for me. My big sister went behind my back several times, talked shit about me, betrayed my trust as her little, and so on and so forth. She was my BIG for christ's sake, and thinking about it now that makes it totally unacceptable for her to have done the things she did. No wonder I felt so disconnected from NKE. Take care of your Fu*king family you stupid bitch, they all are you HAD. (because she deserted us). It makes me sad I never had a big who actually cared about me. But I do have the sisters. Thanks ladies!
I sound like a jerk. But realy, ive become more mature. I need to stop associating myself with people who just bring me down eventually. I need people who see the big picture, like lindsay kk caitlin and jenna. People that understand things can go wrong, but it isn't the end of the world. People that understand that life doesn't give you a handout, that you actually have to work and have to give respect to get it. So with that, I will end this ranting entry and go off to better things.
I got in a fight with a girl in Impact today, I will not tell the whole story. But it was heartbreaking on my part. I know I won't do it next year, I mean im going to australia, but even so. I had a shitty relationship during the season, which most people thought was fine cause I didn't tell them how shitty my boyfriend was. I didn't break up with him because we spent every weekend together. Now this fight happens and I seem crazy, well im not crazy, im fucking damaged, you assholes. More than you people cared to even know. I really enjoyed performing and spinning...but honestly this was more drama and stress than it was worth. It was so fun at points, but I guess my relationship put a damper on my enjoyment of such an amazing activity.
And what is with everyone having to involve themselves in my bullshit? If I want to let you in on it, Ill tell you. But don't make it about you when it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, GET YOUR OWN LIFE. Im working on actually getting a life now, and that goes beyond color guard. I've realized a lot of these people can't do anything but color guard, and that sure ain't me. To be stuck in a world cause you are uncomfortable with change, and can't face the tough things makes you weak...and im finally seeing that.
wow I sound angry. sorry if this offends anyone...i actually don't think it should because most people who read this are those that do not piss me off ever.
Also, today was our NKE Senior picnic outside, and it was so fun! I don't think we've had one of those in the past. It was really cute. Sarah norton made these wonderful little NKE boxes with our names on them, and they fed us which is always good. Also, at one point they all said things about the seniors. There was only one thing about NKE that made me a little sad...im pretty sure everyone had a big sister that essentially "took care" of them except for me. My big sister went behind my back several times, talked shit about me, betrayed my trust as her little, and so on and so forth. She was my BIG for christ's sake, and thinking about it now that makes it totally unacceptable for her to have done the things she did. No wonder I felt so disconnected from NKE. Take care of your Fu*king family you stupid bitch, they all are you HAD. (because she deserted us). It makes me sad I never had a big who actually cared about me. But I do have the sisters. Thanks ladies!
I sound like a jerk. But realy, ive become more mature. I need to stop associating myself with people who just bring me down eventually. I need people who see the big picture, like lindsay kk caitlin and jenna. People that understand things can go wrong, but it isn't the end of the world. People that understand that life doesn't give you a handout, that you actually have to work and have to give respect to get it. So with that, I will end this ranting entry and go off to better things.