HAppy FAce
A few minutes ago, i was thinking that people amaze me - or it amazes me how "aware" and yet tragically clueless people are. The fallacies of man begin with the disconnect within his own self. I think, at least.
I mean, listen:
SO, what is "science"? Isn't it just a method of understanding things? And look at what we study: the trees outside, the air, the stars, our skin, cells, atoms, etc etc. It's as if man, essentially, knows NOTHING, and he's just constantly grasping at ideas and thoughts and "facts," trying desperately to put it all together, to have something that makes sense.
Isn't it fucked up that we have to study our own bodies? That, if we're not told by someone who came before us and 'discovered' the information, we wouldn't know how ANYthing functions, we would only know pores as far as we could see them in a mirror. There is such a profound disconnect there, I can't even fathom that this can actually be living. It seems to unnatural, strange, that I wouldn't even understand my own processes, my innards, my workings, even on the most basic level. In some ways, it's kind of scary.
I was starting to have one of those "I need to get out of here" nights.
Like the "midwest" is holding me back, holding me in. I don't know where this "midwest" mentality came from. It's pretty recent. I've lived here all my life and i've never thought of it as being anything stereotypical, but i guess my mind has been changing. I think part of it is the Nobody-leaves-Cincinnati thing where... well, that's pretty self-explanatory. My mom was talking about it tonight - how when she moved to ohio (she's from NY) for college, some girl from cincinnati was telling her that people from cincinnati don't leave - esp westsiders, the girl said. But even though times have changed, it's still pretty true. And at the very least, most people come back. I admire my brother for not staying. He is so a romantic comedy where the midwest boy tries to make it in the big city. J/k.
It just feels like the adventure is gone I've been doing normal things. Started working. The daily grind. I hear myself complaining about my boss and the managment and it's a serious case of bad deja vu. I've been hanging out with normal people. Some cool people, but everythign is ultimately goign to be from ones own perspective, and I just think that that perspective is limited if it comes from just one places. Like literally, geographically, physically. besides differences in culture, language, etc, travelling just allows for a new view. New air. Environment can make a big difference, and just getting a fresh look at the world from a different spot on the world can change things inside a person.
Lightning storms.
Anyway, camping should be good. And interesting. It's like the Ultimate Test. I actually don't really think that i like camping, per say. I dont' really like being smelly and dirty (well, to a point, but...) and I don't much like sleeping outside or on the ground. But i like being really close to outside and having an excuse to be lazy and just enjoy the fresh air, so I think it's a tradeoff for me, and camping wins. I just can't ever remember enjoying the sleeping part....
spider. ew.
Oh, I did get stung by a bee once, camping in the 7th grade. ha THAT was great. it was my first time EVER and it happened because a bunch of bees kept getting into our tent, but they would be dormant and seem dead - maybe they were sleeping - but they weren't really dead. So i guess one fell/got into my pajama pants that were on my sleeping bag, so when I put them on, it "woke up" and stung me on my thigh. I had to go to the teachers' tent and... i think i pulled down my pants a little to show her, or maybe pulled them up REALLY high. but either way, i was outside and exposed and it was embarrassing.
OR just really really funny. who knows what these emotions mean, anyway....
David seemed annoyed tonight. probably worried about his job interview. I should be a better girlfriend. Fiance. Wife. Wow.
On that note =) I should probably get to packing. I feel kinda high right now... like energetic. PRobably from the coffee I had earlier. But it was one cup at like 10am.
Drugs are crazy.
"Drugs are bad. MMM-kay."
-aryn 11:39pm
I mean, listen:
SO, what is "science"? Isn't it just a method of understanding things? And look at what we study: the trees outside, the air, the stars, our skin, cells, atoms, etc etc. It's as if man, essentially, knows NOTHING, and he's just constantly grasping at ideas and thoughts and "facts," trying desperately to put it all together, to have something that makes sense.
Isn't it fucked up that we have to study our own bodies? That, if we're not told by someone who came before us and 'discovered' the information, we wouldn't know how ANYthing functions, we would only know pores as far as we could see them in a mirror. There is such a profound disconnect there, I can't even fathom that this can actually be living. It seems to unnatural, strange, that I wouldn't even understand my own processes, my innards, my workings, even on the most basic level. In some ways, it's kind of scary.
I was starting to have one of those "I need to get out of here" nights.
Like the "midwest" is holding me back, holding me in. I don't know where this "midwest" mentality came from. It's pretty recent. I've lived here all my life and i've never thought of it as being anything stereotypical, but i guess my mind has been changing. I think part of it is the Nobody-leaves-Cincinnati thing where... well, that's pretty self-explanatory. My mom was talking about it tonight - how when she moved to ohio (she's from NY) for college, some girl from cincinnati was telling her that people from cincinnati don't leave - esp westsiders, the girl said. But even though times have changed, it's still pretty true. And at the very least, most people come back. I admire my brother for not staying. He is so a romantic comedy where the midwest boy tries to make it in the big city. J/k.
It just feels like the adventure is gone I've been doing normal things. Started working. The daily grind. I hear myself complaining about my boss and the managment and it's a serious case of bad deja vu. I've been hanging out with normal people. Some cool people, but everythign is ultimately goign to be from ones own perspective, and I just think that that perspective is limited if it comes from just one places. Like literally, geographically, physically. besides differences in culture, language, etc, travelling just allows for a new view. New air. Environment can make a big difference, and just getting a fresh look at the world from a different spot on the world can change things inside a person.
Lightning storms.
Anyway, camping should be good. And interesting. It's like the Ultimate Test. I actually don't really think that i like camping, per say. I dont' really like being smelly and dirty (well, to a point, but...) and I don't much like sleeping outside or on the ground. But i like being really close to outside and having an excuse to be lazy and just enjoy the fresh air, so I think it's a tradeoff for me, and camping wins. I just can't ever remember enjoying the sleeping part....
spider. ew.
Oh, I did get stung by a bee once, camping in the 7th grade. ha THAT was great. it was my first time EVER and it happened because a bunch of bees kept getting into our tent, but they would be dormant and seem dead - maybe they were sleeping - but they weren't really dead. So i guess one fell/got into my pajama pants that were on my sleeping bag, so when I put them on, it "woke up" and stung me on my thigh. I had to go to the teachers' tent and... i think i pulled down my pants a little to show her, or maybe pulled them up REALLY high. but either way, i was outside and exposed and it was embarrassing.
OR just really really funny. who knows what these emotions mean, anyway....
David seemed annoyed tonight. probably worried about his job interview. I should be a better girlfriend. Fiance. Wife. Wow.
On that note =) I should probably get to packing. I feel kinda high right now... like energetic. PRobably from the coffee I had earlier. But it was one cup at like 10am.
Drugs are crazy.
"Drugs are bad. MMM-kay."
-aryn 11:39pm