Alone Again
Buying that test alone was horrible..
But ever since I took it tuesday afternoon... and found out that it was negative...
while obviously relieved, I can't help but be a little sad as well.
Everyone says that it was for the best, and my brain knows that it was for the best...
In fact, my brain is so estatic that it wants to go out partying...
But my heart, and the lump lodged in my throat... feels like it lost a piece of its self.
Its like... seeing a tiny ray of sunlight on a stormy day, and then loosing it.
And then I start thinking silly things...
Like what if that was it... what if that's the only time that will happen...
I feel like I just lost out on something beautiful.
Like I lost out on being part of somthing bigger, and more important than anything I could ever imagine.
Instead.. I have a date on Sunday with a guy who has sereious stalker potential, whom i'm not all that
attracted to.... And I'm talking to another guy that I was hitting it off with, who I am attracted to....
and he just told me he was a coke dealer, and I don't mean the beverage. *facepalm*
yea...I've been down that particular road before, and am not about to travel it again....
It's like.. just when you think things couldn't possibly get any worse.... you hit rock bottom.
Is that allowed to happen twice in a month? It shouldn't be....
But ever since I took it tuesday afternoon... and found out that it was negative...
while obviously relieved, I can't help but be a little sad as well.
Everyone says that it was for the best, and my brain knows that it was for the best...
In fact, my brain is so estatic that it wants to go out partying...
But my heart, and the lump lodged in my throat... feels like it lost a piece of its self.
Its like... seeing a tiny ray of sunlight on a stormy day, and then loosing it.
And then I start thinking silly things...
Like what if that was it... what if that's the only time that will happen...
I feel like I just lost out on something beautiful.
Like I lost out on being part of somthing bigger, and more important than anything I could ever imagine.
Instead.. I have a date on Sunday with a guy who has sereious stalker potential, whom i'm not all that
attracted to.... And I'm talking to another guy that I was hitting it off with, who I am attracted to....
and he just told me he was a coke dealer, and I don't mean the beverage. *facepalm*
yea...I've been down that particular road before, and am not about to travel it again....
It's like.. just when you think things couldn't possibly get any worse.... you hit rock bottom.
Is that allowed to happen twice in a month? It shouldn't be....