3869: Where Would I Be?
The worst thing about the rapture [past, present, future--whenever one might be supposed to happen] is its built-in discouragement factor: that, why shouldn't I quit my job, since I won't be around anyway?? and so on. Look at all the people who might've kept being productive members of society and looking forward to doing things they enjoy except that they threw everything away on one doomsdayist's word.
Hopefully, not many, but definitely more than I'd like to believe.
The best thing WOULD have been exactly that: I wouldn't still be in the funk I am because, even if I didn't make the cut, at least ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE means I wouldn't have to worry about job shit anymore, eh?
I'm not going to deny that I'm prolly depressed. Maybe not clinically so, needing drugs they advertise on the telly as being able to simultaneously cure me and kill me, but most of the time I do feel like just crying. I generally take this with a grain of salt, though, because I habitually visualize scenes from my stories just as I'm going about my day, and I'll be damned if I don't feel like the characters I've written who've been exactly where I am now--let go, busted leg, feeling completely stupid and/or helpless, etc.
Maybe I'm just too empathetic.
I've applied for unemployment at last [after realizing I should have once I was let go] and I'm trying to apply to a coupla places per day I don't hear back from anyone. Except weekends--I hate applying over the weekend, 'cause I feel like I'm missing out even though I've been on vacation for over three weeks now. It's weird how this much time off feels great when there's something to go back to doing, but awful when there's nothing. I'm not sure how that works, only that all the lazy time I should have been enjoying feels like there's a taint of failure over all of it--like a delicious cake that's been blanketed in cigarette smoke so now it tastes like tar.
About my best success is wanting to stay off the computer, even though that means definitively I can't do contract/work-from-home work [not that I can focus anyway]. There's no way for me to remove outside distractions except to take my laptop out to the library or something, and my laptop isn't really good for the work I want to do on it. Get a new laptop? How 'bout after I get a job again... ¬_¬ Ugh.
The real best thing is I am able to go on a late Sunday night/early Monday morning CAKE run to Harris Tittie and not suffer any noteworthy consequences. Unless where I applied calls me at fucking 8a or something, but I think I'd even be surprised by a callback at 2p... -_-
Wish it was this coming Friday already. C wants to go into DC, and gad do I need to get out. You know, to somewhere besides a place with sugary desserts.
Hopefully, not many, but definitely more than I'd like to believe.
The best thing WOULD have been exactly that: I wouldn't still be in the funk I am because, even if I didn't make the cut, at least ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE means I wouldn't have to worry about job shit anymore, eh?
I'm not going to deny that I'm prolly depressed. Maybe not clinically so, needing drugs they advertise on the telly as being able to simultaneously cure me and kill me, but most of the time I do feel like just crying. I generally take this with a grain of salt, though, because I habitually visualize scenes from my stories just as I'm going about my day, and I'll be damned if I don't feel like the characters I've written who've been exactly where I am now--let go, busted leg, feeling completely stupid and/or helpless, etc.
Maybe I'm just too empathetic.
I've applied for unemployment at last [after realizing I should have once I was let go] and I'm trying to apply to a coupla places per day I don't hear back from anyone. Except weekends--I hate applying over the weekend, 'cause I feel like I'm missing out even though I've been on vacation for over three weeks now. It's weird how this much time off feels great when there's something to go back to doing, but awful when there's nothing. I'm not sure how that works, only that all the lazy time I should have been enjoying feels like there's a taint of failure over all of it--like a delicious cake that's been blanketed in cigarette smoke so now it tastes like tar.
About my best success is wanting to stay off the computer, even though that means definitively I can't do contract/work-from-home work [not that I can focus anyway]. There's no way for me to remove outside distractions except to take my laptop out to the library or something, and my laptop isn't really good for the work I want to do on it. Get a new laptop? How 'bout after I get a job again... ¬_¬ Ugh.
The real best thing is I am able to go on a late Sunday night/early Monday morning CAKE run to Harris Tittie and not suffer any noteworthy consequences. Unless where I applied calls me at fucking 8a or something, but I think I'd even be surprised by a callback at 2p... -_-
Wish it was this coming Friday already. C wants to go into DC, and gad do I need to get out. You know, to somewhere besides a place with sugary desserts.