3839: All Of The Above
X/ I think I am, in fact, writing this. For reasons that will become obvious, I don't think I'll do much with it."So how does this work?"
Stephen stared at the page, scratching his chin in bemusement at the notion. He understood the basic principles, but not the reasoning.
"What's not to understand? The prediction is 100% accurate, and--"
"No, I mean--how exactly does one die from 'ALL OF THE ABOVE'? Even in fiction, that's a bit daft."
Tom threw his hands in the air as though he was asked how does one mine for fish. "You're not exactly clear on the 'creative writing' concept, are you, Steve?"
Irritated, Stephen tossed his pen lazily onto the desk, hearing it land with an unsatisfying clatter. "I understand the exercise, the whole thinking outside of the box and all, but I don't understand why THIS prediction. What, is the person going to become some sort of death singularity, into which all possible methods of death are simultaneously poured?"
"Is he?" In what appeared to be impatience, Tom crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair and laying his feet on the desk. "...or she. It, even. You need to decide that, as well."
"Why do I NEED to decide that when I didn't decide on the prediction? Can't I write about 'LUPICIDE' or something like that?"
"You're going to write about a dying wolf?" Tom sneered, rolling his eyes. "Bo~ring."
"Haven't you heard of 'less is more'?" Idly, Stephen took up his pen again and started scribbling on the previously blank page. "It could be a story about someone becoming a werewolf."
The sneer gave way to a look of exasperation. "Oh, because THAT topic hasn't been well-trodden of late. Might as well do 'STAKE THROUGH THE HEART' or other such obvious reference."
Stephen thumped his head on the desk, feeling himself melt from the stupidity of it. "What I'm saying is, these friends of yours working on this anthology project, they really won't accept my submission unless it's about death by 'ALL OF THE ABOVE'?"
A moment passed before Tom answered. "...maybe."
"What aren't you telling me?"
Sigh. "I'm TELLING you that your writing is unchallenging, VANILLA. I'm TELLING you that no one's buying your stuff because it's doesn't break any new ground. I'm TELLING you that this could be your big break IF you can write something really -- SPECTACULAR."
"So you've taken the most extreme end of the spectrum and told me to run with it."
"In so many words."
He frowned at Tom, wondering the best way to tell him to sod off--after getting the editors' contact information. "Why don't you trust me to write something good on my own?"
"Because I'm the only person who's read your two self-published books, and only because you gave them to me to proof." The look on his face became more serious, but subtlely. "You have a good approach, but your core ideas are -- lacking. I think if you can start with an AMAZING concept, your work will improve significantly." He laughed then. "You might even SELL a book!"
The furrow on Stephen's brow was deepening. "Terry bought Book 1."
"But not Book 2?"
Now the furrow was deep enough in which to lose a small child. "My point still stands: This idea of yours is still functionally impossible."
"Not if you can die multiple times."
Stephen stared at him. "What, you want me to write Torchwood?"
"Damn it, Steve," Tom protested in aggravation, sitting upright in his chair again, "do I have to do all the work for you?"
"Sounds like it," he retorted. "If you want a ghost writer, just say so--but I can tell you now you're already a pain in the ass to work with."
Tom leaned heavily on the desk, grabbing the pen from Stephen. "You're a good guy, but you need some guidance. You can't just write any old crap and expect people to throw money at you, especially in an age when fewer people are reading books. People need a real HOOK to convince them that you're worth their time." He drew a series of the main character from his online comic dying in multiple ways. "I can illustrate the story for you, maybe lure in a few curious readers that way, but you still have to get your story IN the book for that to happen."
"I already have a great idea for death by 'GETTING PREDICTION'--"
"Done," Tom interrupted. "I told you, they've gotten LOTS of the ironic twist stories. The ones they've flagged as their favourites so far are the ones that take a plain prediction like 'LEUKEMIA' at face value, or use an amusing or bizarre prediction like 'THROWN INTO A HAMPER AND TOSSED OVER A CLIFF', but in all cases stories that are as good to read the second time around."
Stephen frowned again but considered this. "I still don't think I can write a good story about 'ALL OF THE ABOVE' in the space constraints you've mentioned. It would almost have to be a whole book unto itself not to end up being a five- to ten-page story about somebody just dying and coming back multiple times."
"Doesn't have to die at all. Just has to be about the concept."
Annoyed at being shot down at every turn, Stephen nevertheless had a brainstorm while watching Tom doodle. "What if I wrote a story about writing a story about the prediction?"
Tom looked up from his doodling. "That's very meta of you."
Stephen stood and silently worked out the core elements of a story about getting the prediction 'AS EXPECTED'. "I'll let you know what I come up with."
In other news, we got more chocolate from work--no big surprise, since it's all Good Friday/Easter[/Earth Day] going on, but since I skipped out on the "Dad's birthday" gesture thing this time around, I thought I may as well send them some even as "literally last-minute gift idea" as it is. Prolly a waste of $27 for Express delivery, but given that I spent $0 on the actual gift, why the hell not. [No card, tho--I was running close to close as it was.]
Stephen stared at the page, scratching his chin in bemusement at the notion. He understood the basic principles, but not the reasoning.
"What's not to understand? The prediction is 100% accurate, and--"
"No, I mean--how exactly does one die from 'ALL OF THE ABOVE'? Even in fiction, that's a bit daft."
Tom threw his hands in the air as though he was asked how does one mine for fish. "You're not exactly clear on the 'creative writing' concept, are you, Steve?"
Irritated, Stephen tossed his pen lazily onto the desk, hearing it land with an unsatisfying clatter. "I understand the exercise, the whole thinking outside of the box and all, but I don't understand why THIS prediction. What, is the person going to become some sort of death singularity, into which all possible methods of death are simultaneously poured?"
"Is he?" In what appeared to be impatience, Tom crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair and laying his feet on the desk. "...or she. It, even. You need to decide that, as well."
"Why do I NEED to decide that when I didn't decide on the prediction? Can't I write about 'LUPICIDE' or something like that?"
"You're going to write about a dying wolf?" Tom sneered, rolling his eyes. "Bo~ring."
"Haven't you heard of 'less is more'?" Idly, Stephen took up his pen again and started scribbling on the previously blank page. "It could be a story about someone becoming a werewolf."
The sneer gave way to a look of exasperation. "Oh, because THAT topic hasn't been well-trodden of late. Might as well do 'STAKE THROUGH THE HEART' or other such obvious reference."
Stephen thumped his head on the desk, feeling himself melt from the stupidity of it. "What I'm saying is, these friends of yours working on this anthology project, they really won't accept my submission unless it's about death by 'ALL OF THE ABOVE'?"
A moment passed before Tom answered. "...maybe."
"What aren't you telling me?"
Sigh. "I'm TELLING you that your writing is unchallenging, VANILLA. I'm TELLING you that no one's buying your stuff because it's doesn't break any new ground. I'm TELLING you that this could be your big break IF you can write something really -- SPECTACULAR."
"So you've taken the most extreme end of the spectrum and told me to run with it."
"In so many words."
He frowned at Tom, wondering the best way to tell him to sod off--after getting the editors' contact information. "Why don't you trust me to write something good on my own?"
"Because I'm the only person who's read your two self-published books, and only because you gave them to me to proof." The look on his face became more serious, but subtlely. "You have a good approach, but your core ideas are -- lacking. I think if you can start with an AMAZING concept, your work will improve significantly." He laughed then. "You might even SELL a book!"
The furrow on Stephen's brow was deepening. "Terry bought Book 1."
"But not Book 2?"
Now the furrow was deep enough in which to lose a small child. "My point still stands: This idea of yours is still functionally impossible."
"Not if you can die multiple times."
Stephen stared at him. "What, you want me to write Torchwood?"
"Damn it, Steve," Tom protested in aggravation, sitting upright in his chair again, "do I have to do all the work for you?"
"Sounds like it," he retorted. "If you want a ghost writer, just say so--but I can tell you now you're already a pain in the ass to work with."
Tom leaned heavily on the desk, grabbing the pen from Stephen. "You're a good guy, but you need some guidance. You can't just write any old crap and expect people to throw money at you, especially in an age when fewer people are reading books. People need a real HOOK to convince them that you're worth their time." He drew a series of the main character from his online comic dying in multiple ways. "I can illustrate the story for you, maybe lure in a few curious readers that way, but you still have to get your story IN the book for that to happen."
"I already have a great idea for death by 'GETTING PREDICTION'--"
"Done," Tom interrupted. "I told you, they've gotten LOTS of the ironic twist stories. The ones they've flagged as their favourites so far are the ones that take a plain prediction like 'LEUKEMIA' at face value, or use an amusing or bizarre prediction like 'THROWN INTO A HAMPER AND TOSSED OVER A CLIFF', but in all cases stories that are as good to read the second time around."
Stephen frowned again but considered this. "I still don't think I can write a good story about 'ALL OF THE ABOVE' in the space constraints you've mentioned. It would almost have to be a whole book unto itself not to end up being a five- to ten-page story about somebody just dying and coming back multiple times."
"Doesn't have to die at all. Just has to be about the concept."
Annoyed at being shot down at every turn, Stephen nevertheless had a brainstorm while watching Tom doodle. "What if I wrote a story about writing a story about the prediction?"
Tom looked up from his doodling. "That's very meta of you."
Stephen stood and silently worked out the core elements of a story about getting the prediction 'AS EXPECTED'. "I'll let you know what I come up with."
In other news, we got more chocolate from work--no big surprise, since it's all Good Friday/Easter[/Earth Day] going on, but since I skipped out on the "Dad's birthday" gesture thing this time around, I thought I may as well send them some even as "literally last-minute gift idea" as it is. Prolly a waste of $27 for Express delivery, but given that I spent $0 on the actual gift, why the hell not. [No card, tho--I was running close to close as it was.]