3790: The Stalker
I feel like I should stop beating around the bush [why am I beating AROUND him?], especially when there's a relevant link handed to me on a silver platter...
tl;dr relevant text [red emphasis mine]:I AM SUPER NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO SOMEONE I ONLY KNOW FROM INTERNET
Yeah, I get this way too, totally. My only advice is, assume a character who’s someone who’s friendly and confident. I mean, don’t do a funny voice or anything, but do try to step out of yourself for a second. The conversation will be very easy, I promise, because nobody’s out to get you. Everyone likes hearing kind words! PRO TIP: Say kind words.
I’m kind of joking, but sometimes people get a little too comfortable and say things like “I used to read you all the time but now I don’t really bother,” or “My friends really like your strip, but I don’t really get it myself” or, much worse, to a lady they’ll say “MARRY ME AND I WILL WHISK YOU AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS.” The first things are simply nervous and clumsy (this is why it’s nice to rehearse your opening sentence in your head, or come up with a question to open with) and the last thing is creepy. I know you think you are being funny and charming, but the lady will not appreciate this. Do not say this. You will be considered a creep no matter how much you think you should not be. The label is not up to you. Do not do this.
We are all just human beings, remember! If somebody is grouchy after a long day, I apologize right now on their behalf. Usually we’re just as nice as you are. So be polite and friendly and it’ll be great all around!
So, to make the fable short [pffffft] in the name of why am I writing this at piss-o'clock:In the earlier days of Internet stardom, one of the quick gateways to fame was to post prolific [even if crap] artwork on a popular website. And chat a little [yay AOL]. This is something I did in lieu of actually, you know, STUDYING or anything. Keep in mind, ALL I did was post artwork, pretty much, since I didn't know much else at the time to do more than that.
Enter Fan #1. This person mailed me out of the blue one day, and by this I mean found my home address and sent me a physical letter. Without my ever posting my address ANYWHERE. "At least" this person was only ten or so with no way to stalk me from afar, but. REALLY. My damned name and address were in a CD-ROM of addresses somewhere. [I was 16? at the time and rather paranoid of the idea of strangers being able to find me so easily when relocation was the last thing I could do if things somehow went ludicrously awry.] I made the mistake of responding to be polite [oh no verification!], but at least it didn't go anywhere farther than a guilt trip about not giving away loads of free artwork before I got a clue and stopped writing back.
Fan #2! Hoo-boy.
It starts with the usual sort of fan mail one sends to a person, kind of "Hey, I like your stuff" dealie. Some of that turned into genuine friendship [nofna], but #2... I have no idea what was going through his head. At some point, out of the blue, he made a bold proposition pretty much saying, "Can I buy you tickets to This Big Event across the country and pay for everything, including room and board [although if you want to share a room to save me money, I'm a perfect gentleman, but it's okay if you don't]?"
...YEAH.
Please note: I was eighteen, we had never met, and all I did was draw pictures and chat. Even though I wasn't as into my advice columns then as I am now, the Creep Alarms went off like mad. [This is the one some of y'all may have heard about, 'cause I posted to a newsgroup asking, "...wait, what?" One person was all, "SHIT YEAH! GO FOR IT!!!" while the rest validated my fears of, "DO NOT GO UNDER PAIN OF YOU WILL BE RAPED AND KILLED BY STALKER DEATH D= NOOO"]
To dilute the point, he sent me his photo once. He looked EXACTLY like one of the dads from church. Like hell I was going to even sort of go out with someone who looked like a forty+-year-old dad from my family's church!
Fan #3 and beyond I think aren't as creepy by comparison, but that they gave me such bad vibes by their physical presence [compared to the first two, these are people I actually met] really put me off of the whole celebrity thing.
Which is prolly why I'm so ambivalent about actually promoting myself and getting serious about distributing my work except on a "check it out if you feel like it" basis. I just don't handle strangers well on that kind of unequal footing. [Peers are cool.] Deep down, I think I will never get over the fear of another creepy Internet stalker, no matter how many cool people I meet--or, am not meeting as a consequence of my fear. If "just" posting crappy fan artwork to an online archive attracts these kinds of people, what would ACTUAL fame get me? CANNOT - DEAL - WITH - CREEPS.
This is largely a self-analytical overthinking exercise more than anything else. I don't really expect any grand epiphanies over it, other than, "Okay, yeah, that's where it started, my wishy-washy attitude about fame. Do I want to do something about it? ...nah, we good."
Speaking of, it's occurred to me I'm still being labelled as "furry" when... dunno, is Walt Kelly considered to be "furry"? I don't think I fit the lifestyle anymore except as someone who draws animal peeps sometimes. Maybe that's enough to do it, but the definition seems so weak while simultaneously being sometimes a mild slur [or, spectacle to say the least].
FWIW, I don't recall ever labelling myself that, except to talk about/among friends who label themselves as such. It's just been so up-and-down over the years that I'm ambivalent about the whole thing [I learned from certain other people's mistakes] and it's sort of, "Well, I recognize the word and know it means different things to different people, so call me that if you want, but it doesn't really mean anything to me if you do. As long as you don't stalk me..."
Gonna come undone (got your address)... Got to keep me from (where you live)...
tl;dr relevant text [red emphasis mine]:I AM SUPER NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO SOMEONE I ONLY KNOW FROM INTERNET
Yeah, I get this way too, totally. My only advice is, assume a character who’s someone who’s friendly and confident. I mean, don’t do a funny voice or anything, but do try to step out of yourself for a second. The conversation will be very easy, I promise, because nobody’s out to get you. Everyone likes hearing kind words! PRO TIP: Say kind words.
I’m kind of joking, but sometimes people get a little too comfortable and say things like “I used to read you all the time but now I don’t really bother,” or “My friends really like your strip, but I don’t really get it myself” or, much worse, to a lady they’ll say “MARRY ME AND I WILL WHISK YOU AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS.” The first things are simply nervous and clumsy (this is why it’s nice to rehearse your opening sentence in your head, or come up with a question to open with) and the last thing is creepy. I know you think you are being funny and charming, but the lady will not appreciate this. Do not say this. You will be considered a creep no matter how much you think you should not be. The label is not up to you. Do not do this.
We are all just human beings, remember! If somebody is grouchy after a long day, I apologize right now on their behalf. Usually we’re just as nice as you are. So be polite and friendly and it’ll be great all around!
So, to make the fable short [pffffft] in the name of why am I writing this at piss-o'clock:In the earlier days of Internet stardom, one of the quick gateways to fame was to post prolific [even if crap] artwork on a popular website. And chat a little [yay AOL]. This is something I did in lieu of actually, you know, STUDYING or anything. Keep in mind, ALL I did was post artwork, pretty much, since I didn't know much else at the time to do more than that.
Enter Fan #1. This person mailed me out of the blue one day, and by this I mean found my home address and sent me a physical letter. Without my ever posting my address ANYWHERE. "At least" this person was only ten or so with no way to stalk me from afar, but. REALLY. My damned name and address were in a CD-ROM of addresses somewhere. [I was 16? at the time and rather paranoid of the idea of strangers being able to find me so easily when relocation was the last thing I could do if things somehow went ludicrously awry.] I made the mistake of responding to be polite [oh no verification!], but at least it didn't go anywhere farther than a guilt trip about not giving away loads of free artwork before I got a clue and stopped writing back.
Fan #2! Hoo-boy.
It starts with the usual sort of fan mail one sends to a person, kind of "Hey, I like your stuff" dealie. Some of that turned into genuine friendship [nofna], but #2... I have no idea what was going through his head. At some point, out of the blue, he made a bold proposition pretty much saying, "Can I buy you tickets to This Big Event across the country and pay for everything, including room and board [although if you want to share a room to save me money, I'm a perfect gentleman, but it's okay if you don't]?"
...YEAH.
Please note: I was eighteen, we had never met, and all I did was draw pictures and chat. Even though I wasn't as into my advice columns then as I am now, the Creep Alarms went off like mad. [This is the one some of y'all may have heard about, 'cause I posted to a newsgroup asking, "...wait, what?" One person was all, "SHIT YEAH! GO FOR IT!!!" while the rest validated my fears of, "DO NOT GO UNDER PAIN OF YOU WILL BE RAPED AND KILLED BY STALKER DEATH D= NOOO"]
To dilute the point, he sent me his photo once. He looked EXACTLY like one of the dads from church. Like hell I was going to even sort of go out with someone who looked like a forty+-year-old dad from my family's church!
Fan #3 and beyond I think aren't as creepy by comparison, but that they gave me such bad vibes by their physical presence [compared to the first two, these are people I actually met] really put me off of the whole celebrity thing.
Which is prolly why I'm so ambivalent about actually promoting myself and getting serious about distributing my work except on a "check it out if you feel like it" basis. I just don't handle strangers well on that kind of unequal footing. [Peers are cool.] Deep down, I think I will never get over the fear of another creepy Internet stalker, no matter how many cool people I meet--or, am not meeting as a consequence of my fear. If "just" posting crappy fan artwork to an online archive attracts these kinds of people, what would ACTUAL fame get me? CANNOT - DEAL - WITH - CREEPS.
This is largely a self-analytical overthinking exercise more than anything else. I don't really expect any grand epiphanies over it, other than, "Okay, yeah, that's where it started, my wishy-washy attitude about fame. Do I want to do something about it? ...nah, we good."
Speaking of, it's occurred to me I'm still being labelled as "furry" when... dunno, is Walt Kelly considered to be "furry"? I don't think I fit the lifestyle anymore except as someone who draws animal peeps sometimes. Maybe that's enough to do it, but the definition seems so weak while simultaneously being sometimes a mild slur [or, spectacle to say the least].
FWIW, I don't recall ever labelling myself that, except to talk about/among friends who label themselves as such. It's just been so up-and-down over the years that I'm ambivalent about the whole thing [I learned from certain other people's mistakes] and it's sort of, "Well, I recognize the word and know it means different things to different people, so call me that if you want, but it doesn't really mean anything to me if you do. As long as you don't stalk me..."
Gonna come undone (got your address)... Got to keep me from (where you live)...