2926.2: Dress Me Like a Clown
So my childhood struggle against my mother--and this is not designed to be a jab at her but an explanation of my plight--has been this whole "dressing nice" biznatch and how I can't. Not easily, at least. I think my mother had this idea that I would grow up to be her living Barbie doll [as a lot of parents with delusions of living vicariously through their kids] and get a job as a model, "because it's easy"* =p but in the end, I kind of didn't do much of anything except resent having to wear uncomfortable things only to feel itchy and not be able to move much.
*Her words, yes.** I dunno, I like food too much to only eat enough to look like Iggy Pop =( though once I did have a chance at doing it, if I could've gotten over my stage fright.
**My mother has interesting logic like, "I like salmon, because the bones are easier to pick out." Well, that's the reason I like steak, actually.
But clothes shopping was this perennial chore--as it still is--because every clothing store I enter looks like waves and waves of things that I don't want. Clothes always seemed like something I just wore to not be cold or naked. I dressed for comfort most of the time [though, for a while, I never liked the idea of jeans--then suddenly I wore nothing but], and getting me into a dress was "Not a Match. Struggle!!"*** Even when I got clothes I thought I liked, after they got home, they somehow just took root in the closet/dresser drawers and never saw the light of day again.
***My mother did, in fact, think I wasn't "dressy enough" in wearing basically my business-casual work outfit to Annaleise's bachelorette party =| which is just evidence that I shouldn't try, especially since I was in the upper half of "dressed-up-ness" there and the bride wasn't.
Now, add paying for my own clothes to the equation, plus the fact I'm an odd size in the first place [short/squat], and imagine how much easier this got for me.
Being where I am on the edge of full-blooded white-collar, though, I've been backpedalling like mad to catch up to where I "should" be [similar to my backpedalling on this keeping up with politics shiz], with the end result being I wear pretty much one outfit and several bad attempts to differentiate from that one without looking too horrible in the process and kind of failing. This is even after forcing myself into clothing stores at odd intervals [moreso, since I have an hour lunch and am right by the Mall to boot], hauling myself into the dressing room, and trying on ten pairs of pants that basically don't fit--waist is fine but legs WAAAAAY too long and the sewing machine hates me--only to pick a few that seem alright but after I get home I don't want to wear them anymore, despite the hunt to find some things that mostly fit okay.
So, being a miser by nature from having had poor parents [who were basically well-off when raising my brother and I but still skin-flinty about it], I progressed from the cheapo stores to thinking, "Okay, I'm going to have to accept that nicer clothes cost a little more than I'd like and just bite the bullet already."
Then I made the mistake of walking into Nordstrom... ...:::ToT:::...
Enter culture shock--$795! For a COAT! I could get a PS3 for less than that, and I bet it would keep me warmer. Furthermore, this was simply a random grab of the first coat I could see; a glance around located one for over $1K! x_@ I could get one custom made for that off-the-rack price, I bet =p I mean, perhaps it's my taste, but neither coat really seemed that much better than, say, this $100 coat in the Land's End section of Sears, and I was looking for functionality over style, though style was a factor [I still have a functional--NAFF--thick winter coat].
In the end I did hold out for Burlington Coat Factory en route home and found a decent one for $70, which is fine with me. It's still a bit aggravating that "nice" things cost so much when in my experience it all gets destroyed quickly anyway [ask me how quickly pen washes out of khaki, or how soon my jacket started showing wear-and-tear scruffs around the armpits, or how many days I'd worn the one pair of jeans before tearing a hole in the knee from tripping]. Then again, I guess that's how I have much more money than other women in basically my situation :p CLOTHES/FOOD/CHILDREN = MONEY PIT
Unrelated: It's dual-comforter time ^^; and... I dunno, I get this unfriendly Vibe here lately, between the stolen iPod and a couple of the neighbours, one of whom seems prone to propping the entryway door open and letting bugs and cold in [Char has the heat on, that's going to eat into our bill if the interior area of the complex is cold]. I wasn't so much before, but now I'm kinda looking forward to moving into the house. At least the neighbours will be a little harder to bother/be bothered by, and "Misery Guts" the carrier may be less of a problem after Mary's not there anymore to bark at him.
*Her words, yes.** I dunno, I like food too much to only eat enough to look like Iggy Pop =( though once I did have a chance at doing it, if I could've gotten over my stage fright.
**My mother has interesting logic like, "I like salmon, because the bones are easier to pick out." Well, that's the reason I like steak, actually.
But clothes shopping was this perennial chore--as it still is--because every clothing store I enter looks like waves and waves of things that I don't want. Clothes always seemed like something I just wore to not be cold or naked. I dressed for comfort most of the time [though, for a while, I never liked the idea of jeans--then suddenly I wore nothing but], and getting me into a dress was "Not a Match. Struggle!!"*** Even when I got clothes I thought I liked, after they got home, they somehow just took root in the closet/dresser drawers and never saw the light of day again.
***My mother did, in fact, think I wasn't "dressy enough" in wearing basically my business-casual work outfit to Annaleise's bachelorette party =| which is just evidence that I shouldn't try, especially since I was in the upper half of "dressed-up-ness" there and the bride wasn't.
Now, add paying for my own clothes to the equation, plus the fact I'm an odd size in the first place [short/squat], and imagine how much easier this got for me.
Being where I am on the edge of full-blooded white-collar, though, I've been backpedalling like mad to catch up to where I "should" be [similar to my backpedalling on this keeping up with politics shiz], with the end result being I wear pretty much one outfit and several bad attempts to differentiate from that one without looking too horrible in the process and kind of failing. This is even after forcing myself into clothing stores at odd intervals [moreso, since I have an hour lunch and am right by the Mall to boot], hauling myself into the dressing room, and trying on ten pairs of pants that basically don't fit--waist is fine but legs WAAAAAY too long and the sewing machine hates me--only to pick a few that seem alright but after I get home I don't want to wear them anymore, despite the hunt to find some things that mostly fit okay.
So, being a miser by nature from having had poor parents [who were basically well-off when raising my brother and I but still skin-flinty about it], I progressed from the cheapo stores to thinking, "Okay, I'm going to have to accept that nicer clothes cost a little more than I'd like and just bite the bullet already."
Then I made the mistake of walking into Nordstrom... ...:::ToT:::...
Enter culture shock--$795! For a COAT! I could get a PS3 for less than that, and I bet it would keep me warmer. Furthermore, this was simply a random grab of the first coat I could see; a glance around located one for over $1K! x_@ I could get one custom made for that off-the-rack price, I bet =p I mean, perhaps it's my taste, but neither coat really seemed that much better than, say, this $100 coat in the Land's End section of Sears, and I was looking for functionality over style, though style was a factor [I still have a functional--NAFF--thick winter coat].
In the end I did hold out for Burlington Coat Factory en route home and found a decent one for $70, which is fine with me. It's still a bit aggravating that "nice" things cost so much when in my experience it all gets destroyed quickly anyway [ask me how quickly pen washes out of khaki, or how soon my jacket started showing wear-and-tear scruffs around the armpits, or how many days I'd worn the one pair of jeans before tearing a hole in the knee from tripping]. Then again, I guess that's how I have much more money than other women in basically my situation :p CLOTHES/FOOD/CHILDREN = MONEY PIT
Unrelated: It's dual-comforter time ^^; and... I dunno, I get this unfriendly Vibe here lately, between the stolen iPod and a couple of the neighbours, one of whom seems prone to propping the entryway door open and letting bugs and cold in [Char has the heat on, that's going to eat into our bill if the interior area of the complex is cold]. I wasn't so much before, but now I'm kinda looking forward to moving into the house. At least the neighbours will be a little harder to bother/be bothered by, and "Misery Guts" the carrier may be less of a problem after Mary's not there anymore to bark at him.