(no subject)
Today I was supposed to hang out with Lucy, Angela AND Brian, and all three canceled or flaked. What's up with? In my former life, flaking was death to me. If you flaked, you were dead to me. But I've loosened up a bit, even dabbled in flakings of my own. It helps that I am more socially secure and I've had people care about me flake on me, but still care about me. And shit, I'm a busy man and sometimes after having most of my time consumed I don't want to hang around people, even my good friends. So I'm a bit more understanding.
But it was a good day! Last night I went to Mama Buzz Cafe for a show, not REALLY wanting to be there but telling Pat Wright I'd show up. Glad I did. Getting out and socializing is what I needed, not brooding and watching Futurama DVDs. My hot, hot friend Nacy was there and she showed me her motercyle. She is more than anyone I know, and certainly of my friends, a "Betty".
I talked it up with casual acquantances and just getting out there helped me. It helped folks talked to me as much as I spoke up, too, but even if it hadn't been that was I am pretty confident I would have fair time. Lots of people I like to see and the bands were interesting.
I re-met this girl Steffany, aka Steffy Sue, for the THIRD time. I had forgetten when I met her the first time and the second time. Which is unusual. She's attractive and easy to talk to, and she talks to me about the banjo. These are things I tend think highly of and will stick in in my mind. But no: I kept forgetting her. This was actually a great help, keeping my insecurities in perspective. It makes feeling forgotten a bit more common and understandable. It happenes to the best of them. We re-discussed playing the banjo and she and a friend needed lessons, and I readily volunteered. They were way into it and we made plans for today.
I met them around noon-ish. Folks: I am into the banjo. I am really, really into the banjo. Its all I do, still. True, Lucy fixed my borrowed fiddle and I am going to give that a go, but I am mostly into that for the context of the banjo. Truely, the banjo is what I do. I love giving my banjo speech to newbies. Asking why they are interested in playing the banjo, letting them know a brief history of "old timey" and a bit of my moral opposition to bluegrass and other "musicians' music". That's really where I shine. I feel shiney talking about the banjo. Then I just taught them the basic strum and tried to inpart the fundaments of what the banjo does at its basic level. It was a good hour of instruction and conversation. Time well spent! Time well spent!
They drove me to downtown Berkeley, where they (co-workers) would be starting work and I would be doing my weekly errands of checking my PO Box and going to the library. But Steffy Sue didn't start for two hours, where as the other girl, named Olivia, was almost late. They wokr at a WAY new age-y, hippie cafe. Its a nice space, truth be told, but it makes me feel like a huge punk rocker jsut stepping in. Even in my silk and my funny hat today, I never felt like more a non-hippie than in there. I mean, a nice space that if I lived near would no doubt frequent, but not my scene. Anyways, since she had the time Steffy and I went out for lunch and she paid in respect for my helping her and her friend learn the banjo.
I don't accept money for teaching folks to play the banjo. I could, certainly. Surely for beginners, I would be a good person to have teach you. But playing the banjo and talking about the banjo is what I DO. I had an interesting experiance recently where I was playing the banjo outside of work. A mother of a small child brought her baby over to hear my and I sang them a song. She got out a dollar to give to me and I REFUSED it. Kindly, though. I explained I was just on my lucnh break and wasn't playing for money. Very weirdly did this strike me, because I hadn't decided that. My response was immediate, spawning deep from me. I thought about it and thought of it as if I were to offer girls I found pretty a dollar. "Nice red skirt, go buy yourself something nice." No. these gals are jsut doing what they are doing and while appreciation can be nice, money entering into is a little twisted. I see it the same way with music.
But the things is, I would like to in the near future earn my living by playing music live on the street. Busking for rent. I have a nice plan to make a little scene, using a few props to create a space that re-create my room. The idea is you'd be watching me play my banjo in my room. A little art piece, as well as live music. That I would want to be funded by the public, because it truely would be an attempt to make the world more beautiful. But the truth is, if I am not working a job I will just put out a bucket and play. I won't be so picky as I am now. I will most likely charge for lessons (from strangers anyways) and accept cash gifts from apprciative parents.
But for now Steffy Sue and olivia are learning for free. But Steffy Sue baught my lunch and I appreciated and accepted the gift. I had a heck of a time talking with her too. She's in a relationship, so being attracted to be was just a nice side effect. Its always best to talk to ladies who I am attracted to, but not after. That's when I probably AM the most attractive and calm in my expression of myself. Because of this positive interaction, folks flaking or just not hanging out like I'd hope didn't register other than making me curious. A good day.
But it was a good day! Last night I went to Mama Buzz Cafe for a show, not REALLY wanting to be there but telling Pat Wright I'd show up. Glad I did. Getting out and socializing is what I needed, not brooding and watching Futurama DVDs. My hot, hot friend Nacy was there and she showed me her motercyle. She is more than anyone I know, and certainly of my friends, a "Betty".
I talked it up with casual acquantances and just getting out there helped me. It helped folks talked to me as much as I spoke up, too, but even if it hadn't been that was I am pretty confident I would have fair time. Lots of people I like to see and the bands were interesting.
I re-met this girl Steffany, aka Steffy Sue, for the THIRD time. I had forgetten when I met her the first time and the second time. Which is unusual. She's attractive and easy to talk to, and she talks to me about the banjo. These are things I tend think highly of and will stick in in my mind. But no: I kept forgetting her. This was actually a great help, keeping my insecurities in perspective. It makes feeling forgotten a bit more common and understandable. It happenes to the best of them. We re-discussed playing the banjo and she and a friend needed lessons, and I readily volunteered. They were way into it and we made plans for today.
I met them around noon-ish. Folks: I am into the banjo. I am really, really into the banjo. Its all I do, still. True, Lucy fixed my borrowed fiddle and I am going to give that a go, but I am mostly into that for the context of the banjo. Truely, the banjo is what I do. I love giving my banjo speech to newbies. Asking why they are interested in playing the banjo, letting them know a brief history of "old timey" and a bit of my moral opposition to bluegrass and other "musicians' music". That's really where I shine. I feel shiney talking about the banjo. Then I just taught them the basic strum and tried to inpart the fundaments of what the banjo does at its basic level. It was a good hour of instruction and conversation. Time well spent! Time well spent!
They drove me to downtown Berkeley, where they (co-workers) would be starting work and I would be doing my weekly errands of checking my PO Box and going to the library. But Steffy Sue didn't start for two hours, where as the other girl, named Olivia, was almost late. They wokr at a WAY new age-y, hippie cafe. Its a nice space, truth be told, but it makes me feel like a huge punk rocker jsut stepping in. Even in my silk and my funny hat today, I never felt like more a non-hippie than in there. I mean, a nice space that if I lived near would no doubt frequent, but not my scene. Anyways, since she had the time Steffy and I went out for lunch and she paid in respect for my helping her and her friend learn the banjo.
I don't accept money for teaching folks to play the banjo. I could, certainly. Surely for beginners, I would be a good person to have teach you. But playing the banjo and talking about the banjo is what I DO. I had an interesting experiance recently where I was playing the banjo outside of work. A mother of a small child brought her baby over to hear my and I sang them a song. She got out a dollar to give to me and I REFUSED it. Kindly, though. I explained I was just on my lucnh break and wasn't playing for money. Very weirdly did this strike me, because I hadn't decided that. My response was immediate, spawning deep from me. I thought about it and thought of it as if I were to offer girls I found pretty a dollar. "Nice red skirt, go buy yourself something nice." No. these gals are jsut doing what they are doing and while appreciation can be nice, money entering into is a little twisted. I see it the same way with music.
But the things is, I would like to in the near future earn my living by playing music live on the street. Busking for rent. I have a nice plan to make a little scene, using a few props to create a space that re-create my room. The idea is you'd be watching me play my banjo in my room. A little art piece, as well as live music. That I would want to be funded by the public, because it truely would be an attempt to make the world more beautiful. But the truth is, if I am not working a job I will just put out a bucket and play. I won't be so picky as I am now. I will most likely charge for lessons (from strangers anyways) and accept cash gifts from apprciative parents.
But for now Steffy Sue and olivia are learning for free. But Steffy Sue baught my lunch and I appreciated and accepted the gift. I had a heck of a time talking with her too. She's in a relationship, so being attracted to be was just a nice side effect. Its always best to talk to ladies who I am attracted to, but not after. That's when I probably AM the most attractive and calm in my expression of myself. Because of this positive interaction, folks flaking or just not hanging out like I'd hope didn't register other than making me curious. A good day.