It is the end of the world as we know it
I found this online and it made me laugh. It is a little too close to the truth for comfort. But, does clear upt the question as to why I call myself Jelly_fish
After reading this I heard the Tasmanian devils have a kind of communicable cancer that is wiping out their species.
Scary stuff, that.
“Take us (slooorp) to your leader,” ordered the Commandant of the Jellyfish Army.
With his troops massed behind him, Commandant Jellyfish stood upright, bell-shaped, muculent and dripping. The Jellies all stood upright, some on shore and others filed into the sea. By some freak acceleration in evolution caused by global climate change or “The Warming”, jellyfish now possessed sensory organs, brains and leg-like tentacles with deadly stingers.
Oh, and they could speak perfect English too.
“Hillary Rodham Clinton?” I replied.
“No,” the massive, menacing yet squishy jellyfish snorted.
“Vice President Barack Obama?”
“No, the guy who (slllooorp) fucked up the environment and (sloorp) made it possible for us to take over the seas,”
“Oh, him. He hasn’t been our leader for years.”
“We just wanted to thank him for The Warming (sloorp). He didn’t invent it but he sure didn’t do anything to stop it. Now, I must ask you to surrender. (sssloorp) The mass stingings will commence in fifteen minutes.”
At that moment I wiggled around like a merman out of water - this was my signal to attack.
From seemingly nowhere my band of resistance fighters popped out of the sand, propelled down from the cliffs and charged the Jellies. All of my fighters were of Asian descent and wielded Global 8-inch chef knives and carried pots of freshly boiled water.
Tears welled up in my eyes. It was a magnificent sight. Like a culinary cavalry.
The Jellies shrieked at an octave just outside of human hearing range. “Fuck me! Chinese foodies!!” the Jellyfish Commandant bellowed.
It was too late for the Jellies. With the element of surprise to our advantage, their army was brutally and mercilessly sliced, boiled and whipped into jellyfish appetizers. Our victory was exhausting and, unfortunately, not without cost. We lost a dozen comrades to suicide stingers.
But there were still blooms upon blooms of Jellies out in the wide-open seas numbering in the billions. With no predators or competition to speak of due to overfishing and warming waters, jellyfish have thrived and multiplied. Warmer waters are the ideal climate for them so not everything opposes global warming. The Jellies love it.
Although what they didn’t count on was a whole lot of Chinese with a taste for nicely marinated invertebrates.
The War on the Jellies had just begun.
This was my peek into a dark future. However horrific, I saw it as a gift. So I’m sharing it with you and telling you all: It’s not too late to avoid this future shock scenario. There are many, many things you can do. Like:
1) Vote for environmentally friendly leaders.
2) Live your life green.
3) Diversify your diet so you don’t eat as much of the really popular fish like certain tuna, red snapper and Chilean seabass.
4) And learn to love, I mean really love, eating jellyfish because there are plenty of them.
Consider the jellyfish salad or sesame jellyfish. It’s a cold dish. Very simple to prepare. You can get all of the ingredients to make it, including the jellyfish, at any well-supplied Chinese grocery store.
1/2 lb prepared shredded jellyfish
2 tsp light soy sauce
3 tbsp sesame oil
2 tsp white rice vinegar
2 tsp sugar
3 tbsp white sesame seeds, toasted
Rinse jellyfish well in cold running water and drain. Put it in a stainless steel bowl and cover with boiling water. Let the jellyfish sit in the hot water for about 15 minutes or until it is tender. Drain and continue to soak at least 6 times in several changes of cold water. Drain thoroughly and blot dry with paper towels and set aside. Mix soy sauce, sesame oil, vinegar and sugar in a small bowl. Toss the jellyfish well in this sauce and let it sit for at least 30 minutes. Just before serving, garnish with the sesame seeds. (Serves 4 as part of a Chinese meal or 2 as a single dish.)
After reading this I heard the Tasmanian devils have a kind of communicable cancer that is wiping out their species.
Scary stuff, that.
“Take us (slooorp) to your leader,” ordered the Commandant of the Jellyfish Army.
With his troops massed behind him, Commandant Jellyfish stood upright, bell-shaped, muculent and dripping. The Jellies all stood upright, some on shore and others filed into the sea. By some freak acceleration in evolution caused by global climate change or “The Warming”, jellyfish now possessed sensory organs, brains and leg-like tentacles with deadly stingers.
Oh, and they could speak perfect English too.
“Hillary Rodham Clinton?” I replied.
“No,” the massive, menacing yet squishy jellyfish snorted.
“Vice President Barack Obama?”
“No, the guy who (slllooorp) fucked up the environment and (sloorp) made it possible for us to take over the seas,”
“Oh, him. He hasn’t been our leader for years.”
“We just wanted to thank him for The Warming (sloorp). He didn’t invent it but he sure didn’t do anything to stop it. Now, I must ask you to surrender. (sssloorp) The mass stingings will commence in fifteen minutes.”
At that moment I wiggled around like a merman out of water - this was my signal to attack.
From seemingly nowhere my band of resistance fighters popped out of the sand, propelled down from the cliffs and charged the Jellies. All of my fighters were of Asian descent and wielded Global 8-inch chef knives and carried pots of freshly boiled water.
Tears welled up in my eyes. It was a magnificent sight. Like a culinary cavalry.
The Jellies shrieked at an octave just outside of human hearing range. “Fuck me! Chinese foodies!!” the Jellyfish Commandant bellowed.
It was too late for the Jellies. With the element of surprise to our advantage, their army was brutally and mercilessly sliced, boiled and whipped into jellyfish appetizers. Our victory was exhausting and, unfortunately, not without cost. We lost a dozen comrades to suicide stingers.
But there were still blooms upon blooms of Jellies out in the wide-open seas numbering in the billions. With no predators or competition to speak of due to overfishing and warming waters, jellyfish have thrived and multiplied. Warmer waters are the ideal climate for them so not everything opposes global warming. The Jellies love it.
Although what they didn’t count on was a whole lot of Chinese with a taste for nicely marinated invertebrates.
The War on the Jellies had just begun.
This was my peek into a dark future. However horrific, I saw it as a gift. So I’m sharing it with you and telling you all: It’s not too late to avoid this future shock scenario. There are many, many things you can do. Like:
1) Vote for environmentally friendly leaders.
2) Live your life green.
3) Diversify your diet so you don’t eat as much of the really popular fish like certain tuna, red snapper and Chilean seabass.
4) And learn to love, I mean really love, eating jellyfish because there are plenty of them.
Consider the jellyfish salad or sesame jellyfish. It’s a cold dish. Very simple to prepare. You can get all of the ingredients to make it, including the jellyfish, at any well-supplied Chinese grocery store.
1/2 lb prepared shredded jellyfish
2 tsp light soy sauce
3 tbsp sesame oil
2 tsp white rice vinegar
2 tsp sugar
3 tbsp white sesame seeds, toasted
Rinse jellyfish well in cold running water and drain. Put it in a stainless steel bowl and cover with boiling water. Let the jellyfish sit in the hot water for about 15 minutes or until it is tender. Drain and continue to soak at least 6 times in several changes of cold water. Drain thoroughly and blot dry with paper towels and set aside. Mix soy sauce, sesame oil, vinegar and sugar in a small bowl. Toss the jellyfish well in this sauce and let it sit for at least 30 minutes. Just before serving, garnish with the sesame seeds. (Serves 4 as part of a Chinese meal or 2 as a single dish.)