09.01.2012 ~ A conventional teenage love life entry
this is my first entry on livejournal haha :)) i start writing because i think i would help me preparing for the college essays that i am sooner or later will be facing and suffering from haha :))
Today, i realized that a girl can never stop herself from wanting to have everything for her own, especially a guy. I love being with this one guy, i feel comfortable and warm at the same time, rarely when we're not fighting. Strange thing is that he gives me a sense of security he is not supposed to. However, we're going way too far from the poin i am trying to make, which is every girl is a kind of emotion nazi. At first, i thought to myself that, okay that's totally fine, i just need him as a source of comfort, more like a massage chair or a water pillow to me. Now i got angry when he stupidly tricked, at least all my friends think so too, by this really annoying girl. I supposed it was not true that he was tricked if he was the one begging for her to trick him huh ? it's just that he seemed at first, pathetic, then i started develop some anger towards that girl. How could she behave like that ? like r you even for real ? you rejected him, still you cannot let him go huh ? what's on earth is wrong with you ???
okay nevermind. i will just remain the place i planned on staying from the very beginning, using him for my own purposes, we dont need to have feelings, or anything like that. Just need him to be there when i have no one to turn to. Now, i ruined it all. It was all me.
This first entry really not sufficient i think cause i'm supposed to write some sort of deep thouhts about the world around me, not some kind of teenage emotional love life stuff. Is it weird that most friends my age that i know got kissed and already doing stuff, i think ? and what am i doing now ? fantasizing about some guys i hardly know, getting all emotional over some lines he said or some other girls he plays lovey dovey with ? guess i am not mature enough for that huh ?
Today, i realized that a girl can never stop herself from wanting to have everything for her own, especially a guy. I love being with this one guy, i feel comfortable and warm at the same time, rarely when we're not fighting. Strange thing is that he gives me a sense of security he is not supposed to. However, we're going way too far from the poin i am trying to make, which is every girl is a kind of emotion nazi. At first, i thought to myself that, okay that's totally fine, i just need him as a source of comfort, more like a massage chair or a water pillow to me. Now i got angry when he stupidly tricked, at least all my friends think so too, by this really annoying girl. I supposed it was not true that he was tricked if he was the one begging for her to trick him huh ? it's just that he seemed at first, pathetic, then i started develop some anger towards that girl. How could she behave like that ? like r you even for real ? you rejected him, still you cannot let him go huh ? what's on earth is wrong with you ???
okay nevermind. i will just remain the place i planned on staying from the very beginning, using him for my own purposes, we dont need to have feelings, or anything like that. Just need him to be there when i have no one to turn to. Now, i ruined it all. It was all me.
This first entry really not sufficient i think cause i'm supposed to write some sort of deep thouhts about the world around me, not some kind of teenage emotional love life stuff. Is it weird that most friends my age that i know got kissed and already doing stuff, i think ? and what am i doing now ? fantasizing about some guys i hardly know, getting all emotional over some lines he said or some other girls he plays lovey dovey with ? guess i am not mature enough for that huh ?