This post brought to you by a pre-fevered mind
I'm a little sick. Came home with lovely memories and a bad cold. So, keep that in mind. Hopefully what I put down here will make sense.
I thought about locking this, but honestly, there are people who read here who I want to see this and they wouldn't be able to if I locked it. I don't think it's sensitive information.
I had a realization today about myself that my self-perception may be wrong. Is probably wrong. I tend to think of myself as uninteresting. Flat. Boring. Not adding value to people's lives. I was thinking about camp and how I had the privilege of hanging out with all these awesome people last week. I mean, there are about 200 people there and most of them are amazing. No one seems to be average there. People there are crazy smart or really creative or both. And I tend to think of myself as outside of that, but yet I totally fit in. Hmmm, that must mean there is a disconnect, yes?
I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself that I hadn't run off to some foreign country when my baby was 6 months old because my expertise was needed, but really, those aren't my gifts. I need to start owning the things I excel at and valuing those things. Of course I'm not going to seem exotic to myself. So, I'm working on that. It feels like a huge step forward and something that my therapist and I worked on.
Oh, I listened to this awesome project from podtogether. It's only 10 minutes long and the really interesting stuff to me was the second half, probably (I'm guessing about where the bit I really liked started). It's meta and between that and a recent Girls With Slingshots post, I realized that imperfection is a lot more interesting than perfection.
Now I'm going to sleep.
This entry was originally posted at http://jelazakazone.dreamwidth.org/588391.html. Feel free to comment here or there.
I thought about locking this, but honestly, there are people who read here who I want to see this and they wouldn't be able to if I locked it. I don't think it's sensitive information.
I had a realization today about myself that my self-perception may be wrong. Is probably wrong. I tend to think of myself as uninteresting. Flat. Boring. Not adding value to people's lives. I was thinking about camp and how I had the privilege of hanging out with all these awesome people last week. I mean, there are about 200 people there and most of them are amazing. No one seems to be average there. People there are crazy smart or really creative or both. And I tend to think of myself as outside of that, but yet I totally fit in. Hmmm, that must mean there is a disconnect, yes?
I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself that I hadn't run off to some foreign country when my baby was 6 months old because my expertise was needed, but really, those aren't my gifts. I need to start owning the things I excel at and valuing those things. Of course I'm not going to seem exotic to myself. So, I'm working on that. It feels like a huge step forward and something that my therapist and I worked on.
Oh, I listened to this awesome project from podtogether. It's only 10 minutes long and the really interesting stuff to me was the second half, probably (I'm guessing about where the bit I really liked started). It's meta and between that and a recent Girls With Slingshots post, I realized that imperfection is a lot more interesting than perfection.
Now I'm going to sleep.
This entry was originally posted at http://jelazakazone.dreamwidth.org/588391.html. Feel free to comment here or there.