Mum: How do you communicate with R and C?
Me: Texting.
Mum: You send a message to both of them at the same time?
Me: Yeah.
Mum: I don't have R's number.
Me: Oh.
Me: Cattre has poop on her butt.
Me: ...IN RELATED NEWS.

At dinner ( Read more... )

"The restaurant doesn't open until 7 so we have some time. Oh wait! Not 7, I meant 5. Too much spider solitaire!"

My silly, funny auntie.

*front door opens*
me: "Oh, you're not Mikey."
Daddy: "What's that on the porch?"
me: "Hi, Mikey. I have to toss that out. I mean- Hi, Daddy!"
Daddy: "...Hi."