Light after the Dawn
Title: Light after the Dawn (Prompt : Puzzle Piece)
Pairing: None (implied)
Rating: G
Genre: Slice of Life
Warnings: None (Although, if you think you’re the sensitive type, then tissue, maybe?)
Notes: It’s short but for once I honestly like my own story. This is inspired from a story in Chicken Soup for the Soul that I read years ago. I no longer remember the full story or the title (my memory is bad), but there’s a certain part that struck me hard and I want to write something inspired from it. So, voila~ (And sorry, I'm suck at summaries)
Summary: Life works in a certain way. If it takes something from you then it’ll give you something in return, somehow. If you think your life is filled with darkness then remember you need to take a few steps back first before you can see the light without it blinds your eyes.
Light after the Dawn
A woman well in her late 40’s with soft creases on the corner of her eyes slid the white door open. Looking at the boy sitting on top of the bed with a drawing book in hand and a pencil in another, she smiled softly. The boy, upon hearing the light sound coming from the sliding door took his eyes off of the drawing book and smiled back warmly at the sight of the elder.
“Mom.” The said woman with her light footsteps -enhancing the elegance and softness radiating from her- walked toward the boy. “Kazuya.”
They looked at each other for a while before the lady set down the bento she brought from home. “Another drawing again, sweety?”
The boy once would cringe and feel a bit embarrassed by the endearing nickname, but nowadays he treasured it. “Hmm. I dreamt about this boy again.”
The woman sat beside her son on the bed and took the drawing to her hands. “What is it this time, honey? Hmm. As usual. His eyes… it’s always looked… empty...” Putting the drawing on the blanket-covered feet, she slid her hand on the boy’s shoulder and moved closer to him.
“It’s always the same, mom. Flashes of certain sceneries, darkness for a long time, that boy’s, er, man’s face smiling, laughing, and all of his other expressions but his eyes… it’s never looked alive. Somehow, looking at him, I just want to comfort him, mom. I want to give this man a warm hug and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright because I’ll be there for him. I’ll be the light in his eyes.” Looking at his mom smiling at him warmly with a hint of tears on the corner of her eyes make him left out a soft chuckle.
“Aw mommy, are you crying? Don’t be sad. I’m here for you too~” The boy said in a light hearted tone while he side-hugged the lady’s petite form. The woman laughed at the childishness that the boy showed, because he was once would never show this part of him. But the soft laugh turned into choked sob and tears ran down the woman’s cheeks as she tried to hold back her cries by burying herself on her son’s chest. She hugged the man tighter and it killed her to feel bones and to notice how skinny and fragile the boy had become.
The boy didn’t question why the woman was crying like that. He just hugged her back as tightly as he could with the little strength he had on his bony arms. He ran his fingers on the woman’s head in a soothing motion. Kazuya was the one who was sick. Kazuya was the one who’s living with a time bomb. But the second that ticked, it’s a knife plugging deeper into his mom’s chest.
They didn’t need to say it, since they both knew. Kazuya, her only son. Her whole world since the death of her husband a couple of years ago. Her Kazuya was diagnosed with Leukemia. For the second time.
The first time it happened, she wasn’t alone. There’s her husband who helped her go through the emotional ride. Being the strength for both her and Kazuya, so they wouldn’t lose hope. This time, she became both the father and the mother. She became the source of energy that Kazuya really needed. But at times, like this one, she needed someone to lend her some strengths. Ironically, most times, Kazuya was the one who provided it for her.
The doctor had told them some months ago. Since this was the relapse, there’s a higher chance that the medication wouldn’t work. It really happened. Kazuya’s body refused the medication. They’d tried many things, but in the end, they knew Kazuya’s time was limited. A few months were the time span the doctor gave.
After they both composed themselves, Kazuya’s mom rubbed her red and puffy eyes and placed her warm hands on Kazuya’s hollow cheeks. She rubbed her thumb on the soft skin and whispered the word she always said to him and yet really meant, “You’re so beautiful, honey. Not only on the outside, but also here,” she pointed to his chest, “I love you, my son. I really love you.”
“I know mom. And I love you too. So much. I’m so lucky you’re my mom.” This time the lady bravely held back her tears.
***
“Mom, am I crazy?” One afternoon found both son and mother on the same pastel-colored hospital room. The mom looked up from her hands that were busy peeling the apple off its skin. Processing her son’s out-of-nowhere question, she laughed. “That man again? If I didn’t know better I would’ve said that you are a fanboy of this man.” There’s a twinkle of mischief shining from the woman’s eyes and it accompanied by a laugh when she heard her son stuttering in embarrassment.
“W-what?! N-no! I mean, well, I dream a lot of this guy, b-but, I don’t even know who he is! All I know is that he has quite a… picturesque feature and a pair of empty dead eyes that would make him much more hands-, ehm, draw-able if it were shining. BUT that’s not the point. What I’m asking is why do I always dream about him when I have no idea who he is? Why do I feel this longing and all I want to do is to lead him to beautiful places and show that the world isn’t only black and white? But it’s crazy, right? I mean, this man might not be real, right?”
“Well, honey, I would be worried if this man was actually only a figment of your imagination~” She giggled after the whine made by the 20 years old man. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry darling. I know you’re being serious. But you look so cute blushing like that. Aaah~ it gets redder~” After another whine(s) from her son, she finally got serious. “No, honey. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think it’s a sign from the universe. I don’t know what it is about but, I always believe that something happens for a reason. Why would you, who was never too interested in drawing, suddenly started dreaming about this boy day after day then find your hidden talent in drawing and painting when you were so desperate to show me how this boy looks like? Then you’re getting better and better at it that people now recognize you as “Kamenashi Ryu- the beauty painter”. I think, the universe was trying to tell you something. But since you’re the chosen one, you have to decipher it by yourself. Think about it. But not too hard, please. I don’t want you to be really crazy.” The rest of the day went by smoothly after the mother-son pairing teased each other back and forth.
***
It was a close call.
It was so close. She didn’t know what would’ve happen if she was a second late.
Looking at all the tubes attached to the boy’s body, made her eyes watered once more. She thought she was ready for that day. She thought knowing that it would eventually come -sooner more than later even though she really hated the idea- would prepare her. But nothing could’ve made her prepared for the real thing.
She was so close to losing her Kazuya. At the thought she unconsciously squeezed the boy’s hand. She held it tight, afraid that if she let go then Kazuya would be really gone. She couldn’t stomach the idea. If only she could transfer the disease to herself so Kazuya would live happily and actively like a 20 years old boy should be, then she would do it in a heartbeat. She would do anything to keep Kazuya live longer. Even though she had to throw her bones to provide the best treatment for Kazuya. Skipping a few meals just to make sure she would be able to visit Kazuya every day.
It’s not like her husband left them in a hard condition. They had a pretty large saving. But money didn’t grow on trees. With cancer in sight, it wouldn’t be long before their saving turned to debt. So she decided to work. It was hard at first. After all it’s been so long since she last did it. The last time being when she was pregnant with Kazuya. But the thought of providing the best treatment for Kazuya, the thought of seeing Kazuya playing baseball again drove her to work her best.
She knew Kazuya was feeling guilty with it. She knew that at times Kazuya would blame himself. That Kazuya also felt loneliness. How the slight redness and puffiness of his eyes wasn’t only the result of battling with the pain. But Kazuya, even though she always referred to him as her baby boy, had grown into a mature young man. If Kazuya was still his old self, he would’ve thrown a tantrum. But this Kazuya knew that he had to live. At least if it’s not possible, he had to try. For his mom.
Brushing his hair softly from covering his face, the woman leaning in and put a gentle kiss on Kazuya’s forehead. She whispered softly.
“Oh darling, I wish you’d never grown up…”
***
When Kazuya first woke up after his short coma, the first thing he saw was her mom tears-stained face. He realized that looking at her was one of the best things he could’ve ever experienced. Did mom and dad feel like this too when they first took a look at me after I was born? His thought fleet around for a moment. Only after his focus came back he did hear his mom’s voice.
Looking straight to her eyes, he smiled softly although a bit strained with how stiff the muscles on his face -all over his body actually- felt. With croaked voice he finally told her his answer.
“Mom, I think I know what the universe wants me to do.”
***
Akanishi Jin was a 24 years old man. He was perfect. He is perfect. At least that’s what his best friend, Ueda, always told him to lift up his spirit. But it’s hard to be convinced with such word when he couldn’t even see his reflection in the mirror.
He would laugh and do normal daily stuffs that other normal people do. But still, he lacked a few points. One of those was the fact that he had no job at his age nor a college degree. He could play some instruments and sing and that at least helped him to get some money to keep his stomach filled and a roof on top of his head -in a quite cozy apartment too. Although he probably got some helps from his friend’s parents -who admittedly was filthy rich- who thought of him as their own son.
But it didn’t change the fact that no one actually wanted to hire a guy like him. A guy who is blind.
Jin lost his sight when he was 16 on a car accident. Not only that accident took his sight away, he also had to experience the pain of losing his parents. Life was hard after that. With almost no hope left, he decided to end his life.
That day he really couldn’t bear it. He just wanted to end it all. So grabbing the knife from the fruit basket on the drawer beside his hospital bed after searching for it blindly, he brought it near his wrist. But before he could do any harm, a voice spoke. “Please, if you really want to die, don’t do it in front of me. I already have a heart problem. Do you really want to see me die this young? Oh right. You can’t see me.” It was Ueda’s voice. He was friends with him since elementary school. Ueda had a heart problem so he couldn’t involve in any of vigorous activities. He also needed to stay at home a lot, so that made him lack some social skills a.k.a he didn’t have a lot of friends. But he and Jin shared the same passion in music and their parents were close so it was just natural for them to become best friend. But that time more than ever, Jin needed Ueda. So throwing the knife to the floor, Jin finally cried his first tears after the accident in front of Ueda. And just like that, their friendship turned into brotherhood.
But back to business, Jin was feeling that helplessness again. It wasn’t as strong that he would want to end his life. But he was on the verge and it felt like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He hated feeling this way. He hated being a burden. He hated that he couldn’t see so many events happening in his life.
He hated not being able to see.
He sighed loudly and slumped on his bed, hands covered his face. He wished he could see again.
***
“Are you really sure about this, Kazuya?” The woman didn’t question her son’s choice, but she needed him to be sure about this.
“Yes mom. I know what you’re thinking, but we’ve discussed this mom. I’m sure. At least, after I’m… gone… I wish to be someone’s light. I wish to still be able to help people. Can you accept this last request of me, mom?”
The woman forced down the lump formed in her throat and answered, “Of course sweety. Anything for you. Anything for you…”
***
Time passed and finally it was Kazuya’s 21st birthday. It was supposed to be his 21st birthday. But time had come and now the birthday boy’s ashes had been scattered across the ocean and flown by the wind. Kazuya’s wish was to be someone’s light even after his death. But in his own house, there’s no lit candles. What should be a birthday song sang to him with his mother’s sweet voice turned into painful sobs as she reminded of what could have been.
***
It was a chilly Saturday morning. The winter hadn’t really passed yet although the spring was right around the corner. It was a peaceful walk around the street of Edogawa with trees blossoming. The sight was something to behold. It really was worth it to wake up extra early (at least in his dictionary) today to be awarded with this scenery. Although even without this beautiful gift from nature, his purpose today was more than enough to keep him awake at the early hour of the morning.
As he reached the desired street, he started counting down the number of the houses until he reached the house he wished to visit from quite some times. Just by looking at it, he could feel the warm radiating from this house. It resonates “Home”.
Bracing himself, he knocked the door. When a middle age woman (who must be very pretty in her younger days) with a tear-stained face and puffy red eyes opened the door, he said nervously while looking straight to her eyes. “My name is Akanishi Jin. I’m sorry it took me this long to visit you, but I’m really grateful to your son. Because of him now my life has colors in it again. Since I learnt this is his birthday, I bring a cake! Er, I hope it’s okay for us to celebrate it? If you don’t mind, of course.”
***
I can see you from his eyes. The boy from your dream. The boy whom you painted in colors. Now that color has emerged from his eyes. The dead-eyes boy had come to live. Thanks for lighting up his world honey. Thanks for lighting up mine too. I hope you’re happy there in heaven with your father. I love you. Always.
Yours,
Mom.
Pairing: None (implied)
Rating: G
Genre: Slice of Life
Warnings: None (Although, if you think you’re the sensitive type, then tissue, maybe?)
Notes: It’s short but for once I honestly like my own story. This is inspired from a story in Chicken Soup for the Soul that I read years ago. I no longer remember the full story or the title (my memory is bad), but there’s a certain part that struck me hard and I want to write something inspired from it. So, voila~ (And sorry, I'm suck at summaries)
Summary: Life works in a certain way. If it takes something from you then it’ll give you something in return, somehow. If you think your life is filled with darkness then remember you need to take a few steps back first before you can see the light without it blinds your eyes.
Light after the Dawn
A woman well in her late 40’s with soft creases on the corner of her eyes slid the white door open. Looking at the boy sitting on top of the bed with a drawing book in hand and a pencil in another, she smiled softly. The boy, upon hearing the light sound coming from the sliding door took his eyes off of the drawing book and smiled back warmly at the sight of the elder.
“Mom.” The said woman with her light footsteps -enhancing the elegance and softness radiating from her- walked toward the boy. “Kazuya.”
They looked at each other for a while before the lady set down the bento she brought from home. “Another drawing again, sweety?”
The boy once would cringe and feel a bit embarrassed by the endearing nickname, but nowadays he treasured it. “Hmm. I dreamt about this boy again.”
The woman sat beside her son on the bed and took the drawing to her hands. “What is it this time, honey? Hmm. As usual. His eyes… it’s always looked… empty...” Putting the drawing on the blanket-covered feet, she slid her hand on the boy’s shoulder and moved closer to him.
“It’s always the same, mom. Flashes of certain sceneries, darkness for a long time, that boy’s, er, man’s face smiling, laughing, and all of his other expressions but his eyes… it’s never looked alive. Somehow, looking at him, I just want to comfort him, mom. I want to give this man a warm hug and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright because I’ll be there for him. I’ll be the light in his eyes.” Looking at his mom smiling at him warmly with a hint of tears on the corner of her eyes make him left out a soft chuckle.
“Aw mommy, are you crying? Don’t be sad. I’m here for you too~” The boy said in a light hearted tone while he side-hugged the lady’s petite form. The woman laughed at the childishness that the boy showed, because he was once would never show this part of him. But the soft laugh turned into choked sob and tears ran down the woman’s cheeks as she tried to hold back her cries by burying herself on her son’s chest. She hugged the man tighter and it killed her to feel bones and to notice how skinny and fragile the boy had become.
The boy didn’t question why the woman was crying like that. He just hugged her back as tightly as he could with the little strength he had on his bony arms. He ran his fingers on the woman’s head in a soothing motion. Kazuya was the one who was sick. Kazuya was the one who’s living with a time bomb. But the second that ticked, it’s a knife plugging deeper into his mom’s chest.
They didn’t need to say it, since they both knew. Kazuya, her only son. Her whole world since the death of her husband a couple of years ago. Her Kazuya was diagnosed with Leukemia. For the second time.
The first time it happened, she wasn’t alone. There’s her husband who helped her go through the emotional ride. Being the strength for both her and Kazuya, so they wouldn’t lose hope. This time, she became both the father and the mother. She became the source of energy that Kazuya really needed. But at times, like this one, she needed someone to lend her some strengths. Ironically, most times, Kazuya was the one who provided it for her.
The doctor had told them some months ago. Since this was the relapse, there’s a higher chance that the medication wouldn’t work. It really happened. Kazuya’s body refused the medication. They’d tried many things, but in the end, they knew Kazuya’s time was limited. A few months were the time span the doctor gave.
After they both composed themselves, Kazuya’s mom rubbed her red and puffy eyes and placed her warm hands on Kazuya’s hollow cheeks. She rubbed her thumb on the soft skin and whispered the word she always said to him and yet really meant, “You’re so beautiful, honey. Not only on the outside, but also here,” she pointed to his chest, “I love you, my son. I really love you.”
“I know mom. And I love you too. So much. I’m so lucky you’re my mom.” This time the lady bravely held back her tears.
***
“Mom, am I crazy?” One afternoon found both son and mother on the same pastel-colored hospital room. The mom looked up from her hands that were busy peeling the apple off its skin. Processing her son’s out-of-nowhere question, she laughed. “That man again? If I didn’t know better I would’ve said that you are a fanboy of this man.” There’s a twinkle of mischief shining from the woman’s eyes and it accompanied by a laugh when she heard her son stuttering in embarrassment.
“W-what?! N-no! I mean, well, I dream a lot of this guy, b-but, I don’t even know who he is! All I know is that he has quite a… picturesque feature and a pair of empty dead eyes that would make him much more hands-, ehm, draw-able if it were shining. BUT that’s not the point. What I’m asking is why do I always dream about him when I have no idea who he is? Why do I feel this longing and all I want to do is to lead him to beautiful places and show that the world isn’t only black and white? But it’s crazy, right? I mean, this man might not be real, right?”
“Well, honey, I would be worried if this man was actually only a figment of your imagination~” She giggled after the whine made by the 20 years old man. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry darling. I know you’re being serious. But you look so cute blushing like that. Aaah~ it gets redder~” After another whine(s) from her son, she finally got serious. “No, honey. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think it’s a sign from the universe. I don’t know what it is about but, I always believe that something happens for a reason. Why would you, who was never too interested in drawing, suddenly started dreaming about this boy day after day then find your hidden talent in drawing and painting when you were so desperate to show me how this boy looks like? Then you’re getting better and better at it that people now recognize you as “Kamenashi Ryu- the beauty painter”. I think, the universe was trying to tell you something. But since you’re the chosen one, you have to decipher it by yourself. Think about it. But not too hard, please. I don’t want you to be really crazy.” The rest of the day went by smoothly after the mother-son pairing teased each other back and forth.
***
It was a close call.
It was so close. She didn’t know what would’ve happen if she was a second late.
Looking at all the tubes attached to the boy’s body, made her eyes watered once more. She thought she was ready for that day. She thought knowing that it would eventually come -sooner more than later even though she really hated the idea- would prepare her. But nothing could’ve made her prepared for the real thing.
She was so close to losing her Kazuya. At the thought she unconsciously squeezed the boy’s hand. She held it tight, afraid that if she let go then Kazuya would be really gone. She couldn’t stomach the idea. If only she could transfer the disease to herself so Kazuya would live happily and actively like a 20 years old boy should be, then she would do it in a heartbeat. She would do anything to keep Kazuya live longer. Even though she had to throw her bones to provide the best treatment for Kazuya. Skipping a few meals just to make sure she would be able to visit Kazuya every day.
It’s not like her husband left them in a hard condition. They had a pretty large saving. But money didn’t grow on trees. With cancer in sight, it wouldn’t be long before their saving turned to debt. So she decided to work. It was hard at first. After all it’s been so long since she last did it. The last time being when she was pregnant with Kazuya. But the thought of providing the best treatment for Kazuya, the thought of seeing Kazuya playing baseball again drove her to work her best.
She knew Kazuya was feeling guilty with it. She knew that at times Kazuya would blame himself. That Kazuya also felt loneliness. How the slight redness and puffiness of his eyes wasn’t only the result of battling with the pain. But Kazuya, even though she always referred to him as her baby boy, had grown into a mature young man. If Kazuya was still his old self, he would’ve thrown a tantrum. But this Kazuya knew that he had to live. At least if it’s not possible, he had to try. For his mom.
Brushing his hair softly from covering his face, the woman leaning in and put a gentle kiss on Kazuya’s forehead. She whispered softly.
“Oh darling, I wish you’d never grown up…”
***
When Kazuya first woke up after his short coma, the first thing he saw was her mom tears-stained face. He realized that looking at her was one of the best things he could’ve ever experienced. Did mom and dad feel like this too when they first took a look at me after I was born? His thought fleet around for a moment. Only after his focus came back he did hear his mom’s voice.
Looking straight to her eyes, he smiled softly although a bit strained with how stiff the muscles on his face -all over his body actually- felt. With croaked voice he finally told her his answer.
“Mom, I think I know what the universe wants me to do.”
***
Akanishi Jin was a 24 years old man. He was perfect. He is perfect. At least that’s what his best friend, Ueda, always told him to lift up his spirit. But it’s hard to be convinced with such word when he couldn’t even see his reflection in the mirror.
He would laugh and do normal daily stuffs that other normal people do. But still, he lacked a few points. One of those was the fact that he had no job at his age nor a college degree. He could play some instruments and sing and that at least helped him to get some money to keep his stomach filled and a roof on top of his head -in a quite cozy apartment too. Although he probably got some helps from his friend’s parents -who admittedly was filthy rich- who thought of him as their own son.
But it didn’t change the fact that no one actually wanted to hire a guy like him. A guy who is blind.
Jin lost his sight when he was 16 on a car accident. Not only that accident took his sight away, he also had to experience the pain of losing his parents. Life was hard after that. With almost no hope left, he decided to end his life.
That day he really couldn’t bear it. He just wanted to end it all. So grabbing the knife from the fruit basket on the drawer beside his hospital bed after searching for it blindly, he brought it near his wrist. But before he could do any harm, a voice spoke. “Please, if you really want to die, don’t do it in front of me. I already have a heart problem. Do you really want to see me die this young? Oh right. You can’t see me.” It was Ueda’s voice. He was friends with him since elementary school. Ueda had a heart problem so he couldn’t involve in any of vigorous activities. He also needed to stay at home a lot, so that made him lack some social skills a.k.a he didn’t have a lot of friends. But he and Jin shared the same passion in music and their parents were close so it was just natural for them to become best friend. But that time more than ever, Jin needed Ueda. So throwing the knife to the floor, Jin finally cried his first tears after the accident in front of Ueda. And just like that, their friendship turned into brotherhood.
But back to business, Jin was feeling that helplessness again. It wasn’t as strong that he would want to end his life. But he was on the verge and it felt like an itch he couldn’t scratch. He hated feeling this way. He hated being a burden. He hated that he couldn’t see so many events happening in his life.
He hated not being able to see.
He sighed loudly and slumped on his bed, hands covered his face. He wished he could see again.
***
“Are you really sure about this, Kazuya?” The woman didn’t question her son’s choice, but she needed him to be sure about this.
“Yes mom. I know what you’re thinking, but we’ve discussed this mom. I’m sure. At least, after I’m… gone… I wish to be someone’s light. I wish to still be able to help people. Can you accept this last request of me, mom?”
The woman forced down the lump formed in her throat and answered, “Of course sweety. Anything for you. Anything for you…”
***
Time passed and finally it was Kazuya’s 21st birthday. It was supposed to be his 21st birthday. But time had come and now the birthday boy’s ashes had been scattered across the ocean and flown by the wind. Kazuya’s wish was to be someone’s light even after his death. But in his own house, there’s no lit candles. What should be a birthday song sang to him with his mother’s sweet voice turned into painful sobs as she reminded of what could have been.
***
It was a chilly Saturday morning. The winter hadn’t really passed yet although the spring was right around the corner. It was a peaceful walk around the street of Edogawa with trees blossoming. The sight was something to behold. It really was worth it to wake up extra early (at least in his dictionary) today to be awarded with this scenery. Although even without this beautiful gift from nature, his purpose today was more than enough to keep him awake at the early hour of the morning.
As he reached the desired street, he started counting down the number of the houses until he reached the house he wished to visit from quite some times. Just by looking at it, he could feel the warm radiating from this house. It resonates “Home”.
Bracing himself, he knocked the door. When a middle age woman (who must be very pretty in her younger days) with a tear-stained face and puffy red eyes opened the door, he said nervously while looking straight to her eyes. “My name is Akanishi Jin. I’m sorry it took me this long to visit you, but I’m really grateful to your son. Because of him now my life has colors in it again. Since I learnt this is his birthday, I bring a cake! Er, I hope it’s okay for us to celebrate it? If you don’t mind, of course.”
***
I can see you from his eyes. The boy from your dream. The boy whom you painted in colors. Now that color has emerged from his eyes. The dead-eyes boy had come to live. Thanks for lighting up his world honey. Thanks for lighting up mine too. I hope you’re happy there in heaven with your father. I love you. Always.
Yours,
Mom.