Carol and I just got back from a month-long driving trek to
Chicago. I generally don't talk much about my travels until I get
back home, hence my silence here for the last few weeks. As usual
with Tripwanders, this entry will be a sort of long-form Odd Lots,
and not a coherent essay leading toward any particular point,
beyond the epiphany that there are many different colors of
bugsplat.
Place: The Des Moines Sheraton. Time: 5:38 AM. I awaken from my
usual dream of trying to teach evil cosmic forces how to use their
silverware correctly to find a xenon strobe flashing in my face,
one pulse per second. WTF? The room is utterly dark. There is no
fire alarm, nor any sound at all beyond that puissant pop!
of the triggered strobe. I am on my back, and the damned thing is
centered in my field of view. I began counting pulses while waiting
for some sort of hell to break loose, or at least try to push peas
onto a fork with its fingers. 26 pulses, and then darkness
again.
So much for that particular Saturday night. I lay there and
fumed until Carol woke about an hour later. There were in fact
three strobes in the ceiling of our room, two attached to fire
alarms of some sort, and one solo. The solo strobe was the one I
had been staring at. I went down to the desk a little later to
complain, or at least ask for an explanation. The clerk told me
that the strobe I'd seen was...the doorbell. Sure enough, there was
a doorbell button to one side of our door. If you're
hearing-impaired and order room service, how else would you know
your dinner had arrived?
We were in a handicapped room because that was what there was,
and we'd gotten the room for $88 in a hotel where most of the rooms
went for $150 and up. My only hesitation in getting handicapped
rooms is that some handicapped person might come to the hotel an
hour later and want it. I never quite understood why they were so
cheap. Now I do. As the clerk explained that they'd had a very
large and rowdy wedding that night (which we'd seen as we checked
in) with drunks wandering the walls until dawn, I could see some
staggering fool noticing the button and pressing it. Works as
designed.
Other odd things we saw in the middle of the night included
little red LED smiles on the front edges of LG TVs in hotels. I
never noticed them until our first night out, when I reached for
the switch on the nightstand light at a Holiday Inn Express, and
saw something grinning at me in the darkness. I discovered that I'm
a little apprehensive about glow-in-the-dark smiles (I'm sure
there's a technical term for the psychological condition somewhere)
and parked my briefcase in front of it.
Part of the challenge of summer road trips taken with dogs is
that you can't leave them in the car while you catch a meal. This
means that we eat fast food a lot. This isn't a health hazard,
though Southern Style Chicken meals can get old after a few days.
One lunchtime at a McDonald's drive-through (in Nebraska, I think)
I got a penny in change with two footprints punched all the way
through it.
Defacing currency is a crime, which is why I always wondered if
the Where's George site would get into trouble.
The same guys who protect the President are also tasked with going
after penny-punchers, which says something about something, albeit
nothing coherent. As it happens,
coin art is legal as long as you don't try to pass off a
coin as a different coin. I was told in grade school that you
can sand a penny down on the sidewalk until it would pass as a dime
in a payphone, but it seemed like a lot of work to earn nine cents,
when the local empty lots were lousy with returnable Coke
bottles.
It didn't take much Googling to find out that the penny had been
sold as
a sort of inspirational good-luck token based on
the well-known Christian fable "Footprints in the Sand." I'm
going to toss it in my weird coins cup, though I do wonder where
all the little copper-coated zinc footprints ended up.
One of
my goals this trip was to trek out to Third Lake, Illinois, to see
what (if anything) was left of the summer place our family had
owned there from 1965-1991. I knew the cottage itself was gone,
after a tree fell on it in the mid-1990s, and I was more interested
in the neighborhood itself, which had been a constant summer haunt
in my young teen years. Telescopes and dark skies, model rockets,
slopping around in the slightly green lake, my first attempt at
target shooting--it was formative in ways I didn't realize for
decades.
I had gotten in touch with a couple of the "kids" I used to hang
out with there, and spent a little time with Rob and Tim Smyth,
walking around the area while they pointed to things that used to
be there. The garage Uncle Louie built in 1977 still stands, but
after that it was slim pickins. The adjoining Picket Fence Farm,
where we would chase Angus steers while stepping smartly around
cowpies, is now
a forest preserve, with grass as high as my
nose. I'm guessing that launching model rockets there would now be
a felony.
I did find, to my delight, that the Dog 'N' Suds drive-in is
still there in nearby Grayslake, essentially unchanged since the
1950s. I had a coney dog and a bag full of sumptuously greasy
fries, and for a moment it was 1968 all over again.
The trip, of course, was centered around the wedding of our
younger nephew Matt and
his high-school sweetheart Justine. They met as
sophomores, which means that they have Carol and me beat by almost
two years. As I would expect, the ceremony at St. Thomas church was
beautiful, and the reception (at the tony
Boulder Ridge
Country Club) spectacular. The open bar included Chicago's
infamous
Jeppson's Malört, and whereas I toyed with the idea of
trying it, I went for the pinot noir instead. After eating all that
McDonald's on the trip out, I figured my tongue had suffered
enough. Besides, my camera was conked and there was no way to get a
picture of my inevitable
Malört face.
The weather had not been helpful. As we were milling around
Carol's sister's house 40 minutes before the ceremony, I went
outside and could see a very ugly front glowering its way toward us
out of the northwest. The WGN radar on my phone painted it in red
and (worse) dark red. I suggested to Carol that we needed
to leave right damned now, and although we did, it wasn't
quite soon enough. Just after we pulled into the church parking
lot, a thunderstorm the likes of which we rarely see opened on our
heads. I took Carol as close to the building as I could, and then
tried to wait out the sheeting downpour in the parking lot. As the
minutes ticked past, the storm abated only slowly. Finally, just a
few minutes before the ceremony was slated to begin, I opened an
umbrella and ran for it. It crossed my mind that I was dashing
through puddles under a lively thunderstorm carrying a metal spike
in one hand. I like ground rods, and have used many in my time, but
never felt any desire at all to be one.
Things began a little late but turned out well, with the storm
rising and falling and rattling against the skylights in the church
ceiling. During the exchange of vows, a second front rolled
through, with deafending thunder while Matt declared his love for
his bride. People laughed, but
I had been through something very like this before,
and knew the truth: It was God's applause, for two young people who
had made us all very proud, and would almost certainly continue to
do so.
Of course, we both got colds toward the end of our stay, which
has happened before, and we made the long trip back amidst coughs
and sniffles. The dogs were peevish and unruly; Dash has taken up
howling whenever Carol isn't in his immediate vicinity. So when we
rolled back into town on Monday night, both of us were abundantly
glad that the trip, as good as it had been, was over.
Much to do here, but I'll try to post a little more often than
in the immediate past.