I am out of my mind!!!!!!!
Ok here it goes........I am insane I must be becasue I am moving, I am moving back to Belleville. I know I know I hate Belleville and I left there and never turned back but everything is pointing for me to go back. I am going to move into a great apartment and I will be saving about 250 in rent a month. I will be able to hopefully find a job in St. Louis.......I am still looking. Aaron can work at the shack for the time and go to school. I will have a much bigger apartment I will have a not one but two huge walk in closets!!!!!! Oh yeah. I will be close to my family. The only thing that hurts is leaving all my friends. I mean come on almost everybody who I talk to on a regular basis is in Murray. I told the two hardest people last night and it was sooo hard. I know it sounds stupid but it is a big thing to me. I have never had such good friends before in my life and I know that I will see them and all that B.S. but it is still hard. I called Luke last night and I got off the phone and jsut balled my eyes out. He really made me think, why and I doing this? Is it for me or others and after some thinking, I am doing this for me. I have no advancement in my company I have gone as far as I can go so this is for the better. Plus my mom and dad really really miss me and it kills me to know that I am staying away for selfish issues. I mean it is not like I am here for a great job or because Aaron cant leave. I am staying for me and I know that they want me home and it kills me to see the look in there eyes when I leave. Plus I am not going to be living with my parents I will have my own place and that is so much different. It will be better. I just hope that it can stay this way. I have to keep my head up and think of the positive things and not dwell on the past. I can do this I know I can!!!