I think I'm just going to start typing and see where this goes
I'm going to warn you right now this isn't going to be a coherent post.
I miss MSSM. So what?
I NEVER miss MSSM. I've missed parts of it. I've missed upper C. I've almost constantly missed people. I've missed drama. But I've NEVER missed MSSM. Why do I miss it now?
It has something to do with Gabi's party. There were so many people there who I had hardly known at MSSM yet...
A friend of mine asked me last night what I thought of her relationship. I didn't know how to answer. I ALWAYS guess what is going to happen with relationships, and I'm usually right.
Of course I know what's going to happen. They're going to keep dating for a while and it will be just wonderful. Then they will break up and it will be just awful. Then they will hate each other and I'll have trouble staying friends with both of them.
I think I just started crying. What the hell.
I think I just broke iPod. I got this from my first time getting drunk. :)
I am so uninteresting. My god. I've always based myself after people I admire.
Maybe I can send it back to apple and fix it. At least I'm done crying.
I decided recently that roughly 40% of who I am is what I naturally am, about half is based off of MSSM people, and the other 10% based on CMU people. But after spending time with those MSSM people again I have to wonder, where do these people get it from? They can't just have invented it. Could they? Why is it that even if I blend together the most awesome, loving, fun, and great people that I still am not exceptional in any of things? Why does this not make any sense?
I would love to be the most excting person I know. Not the most excellent, or the most competent, or the most caring. But the most exciting.
My iPod seems to be mostly working, though the screen is cracked.
Where was I...
They aren't going to break up like that. They both want to avoid something like that. They both know it's a possibility, since they've both done it before. They aren't going to make the same mistake again, right? Right? :-/
There were so many people there who I had hardly known at MSSM yet I still feel strangely connected to them. People routinely say "oh do you know so and so at CMU?" and I say no and don't think twice about it. But at MSSM... if I didn't know someone, there was always a good reason.
I have had a crush on someone for a while. I knew it would never go anywhere, so I decided to tell her, just to see what she'd think.
I decided I don't have a crush and her, and I don't think I ever did. I think I was just in love with MSSM.
I got everone sick at new years. If you are sick right now, it is probably my fault. Sorry.
I was going to hang out with Katie Gaire today. My dad decided to fly in for a surprise visit. I hate him. He bought me some nice clothes, which I will where when I go clubing in Montreal next weekend.
I do not think that most people understand what the word hate means. Hate is when you jealously hope that every time a person gets on an airplane that it crashes, because although some good people would die, it would just make your life so much easier.
I miss MSSM.
I miss the collection of people concentrated in one place. I miss study hours. I miss social hours. I miss chef Tom. I miss not being able to eat ribs while everyone else was enjoying the first good meal they'd had in months.
I drank at Gabi's party. Very little, but... why? I hate alcohol. I have some ideas why... but overall I don't know.
This summer I had all these plans about what I would do the next semester. Aside from meeting a beautiful girl and falling in love with her, it was an outstanding sucess. That particular area would have been acceptable to fail in, but having come so close it puts a blemish on an otherwise fantastic semester.
I have almost no plans for next semester. I only have one expectation: that two of my friends will break up, and four others will stay together. As I said before, I have no idea what will happen with the other couple.
I wonder if he is bad for her... He is a nice guy. I'm told he's quite attractive. Very smart. I liked her better before they started to grow closer.
I have recently discovered that one of the people I model myself after is different that I thought. That is part of the reason why I drank. Should I continute to model myself after the image of this person, even though it is wrong?
I probably will anyway.
I need to figure out how to get an unknown amount of people to Oberlin sometime in April with no money.
I need to tell a good friend of mine that he is killing a part of me that I was born with but I don't know how.
I need to decide which courses I'm taking next semester.
I need to stop writing this post.
I need to talk to a girl I almost loved but I don't have anything I need to talk to her about about.
I need to decide who I will live with next year.
I need a girl who I can hold whenever I want and not feel guilty. I don't need a girlfriend.
Why were there so many of those at MSSM and none at CMU?
I miss MSSM for the first time since I graduated.
I miss MSSM. So what?
I NEVER miss MSSM. I've missed parts of it. I've missed upper C. I've almost constantly missed people. I've missed drama. But I've NEVER missed MSSM. Why do I miss it now?
It has something to do with Gabi's party. There were so many people there who I had hardly known at MSSM yet...
A friend of mine asked me last night what I thought of her relationship. I didn't know how to answer. I ALWAYS guess what is going to happen with relationships, and I'm usually right.
Of course I know what's going to happen. They're going to keep dating for a while and it will be just wonderful. Then they will break up and it will be just awful. Then they will hate each other and I'll have trouble staying friends with both of them.
I think I just started crying. What the hell.
I think I just broke iPod. I got this from my first time getting drunk. :)
I am so uninteresting. My god. I've always based myself after people I admire.
Maybe I can send it back to apple and fix it. At least I'm done crying.
I decided recently that roughly 40% of who I am is what I naturally am, about half is based off of MSSM people, and the other 10% based on CMU people. But after spending time with those MSSM people again I have to wonder, where do these people get it from? They can't just have invented it. Could they? Why is it that even if I blend together the most awesome, loving, fun, and great people that I still am not exceptional in any of things? Why does this not make any sense?
I would love to be the most excting person I know. Not the most excellent, or the most competent, or the most caring. But the most exciting.
My iPod seems to be mostly working, though the screen is cracked.
Where was I...
They aren't going to break up like that. They both want to avoid something like that. They both know it's a possibility, since they've both done it before. They aren't going to make the same mistake again, right? Right? :-/
There were so many people there who I had hardly known at MSSM yet I still feel strangely connected to them. People routinely say "oh do you know so and so at CMU?" and I say no and don't think twice about it. But at MSSM... if I didn't know someone, there was always a good reason.
I have had a crush on someone for a while. I knew it would never go anywhere, so I decided to tell her, just to see what she'd think.
I decided I don't have a crush and her, and I don't think I ever did. I think I was just in love with MSSM.
I got everone sick at new years. If you are sick right now, it is probably my fault. Sorry.
I was going to hang out with Katie Gaire today. My dad decided to fly in for a surprise visit. I hate him. He bought me some nice clothes, which I will where when I go clubing in Montreal next weekend.
I do not think that most people understand what the word hate means. Hate is when you jealously hope that every time a person gets on an airplane that it crashes, because although some good people would die, it would just make your life so much easier.
I miss MSSM.
I miss the collection of people concentrated in one place. I miss study hours. I miss social hours. I miss chef Tom. I miss not being able to eat ribs while everyone else was enjoying the first good meal they'd had in months.
I drank at Gabi's party. Very little, but... why? I hate alcohol. I have some ideas why... but overall I don't know.
This summer I had all these plans about what I would do the next semester. Aside from meeting a beautiful girl and falling in love with her, it was an outstanding sucess. That particular area would have been acceptable to fail in, but having come so close it puts a blemish on an otherwise fantastic semester.
I have almost no plans for next semester. I only have one expectation: that two of my friends will break up, and four others will stay together. As I said before, I have no idea what will happen with the other couple.
I wonder if he is bad for her... He is a nice guy. I'm told he's quite attractive. Very smart. I liked her better before they started to grow closer.
I have recently discovered that one of the people I model myself after is different that I thought. That is part of the reason why I drank. Should I continute to model myself after the image of this person, even though it is wrong?
I probably will anyway.
I need to figure out how to get an unknown amount of people to Oberlin sometime in April with no money.
I need to tell a good friend of mine that he is killing a part of me that I was born with but I don't know how.
I need to decide which courses I'm taking next semester.
I need to stop writing this post.
I need to talk to a girl I almost loved but I don't have anything I need to talk to her about about.
I need to decide who I will live with next year.
I need a girl who I can hold whenever I want and not feel guilty. I don't need a girlfriend.
Why were there so many of those at MSSM and none at CMU?
I miss MSSM for the first time since I graduated.