to all the boys i've loved before
The first boy I ever liked was named James. I was in kindergarten and everything is nothing but a lost memory now, but there are three things I remember from kindergarten: my Little Mermaid tote bag, my first best friend named Andrea, and him. I don’t even remember how I came to like him or if it even felt like an attraction (hello, I was five!), but he holds the prestigious honor anyways of being my first crush. I have no idea where he is now, what he looks like after thirteen years, or if he’ll even remember me if he sees me now, but I sure as heck would love to find him in Friendster or something.
The first boy that I ever liked that liked me back was named Chris. I was in second grade and thought he was a cutie. He had a really good haircut (according to my second grade taste), was fair skinned, and was my seatmate. We started talking to each other and I’m sure that really made me happy. He used to like this girl though named Erica, but my charms were just so powerful that the attraction transferred to me. And thinking about that now, what if he liking her was just a fib? I clearly remember that moment when I found out that he liked me. I asked him, “Who do you like?” And he wouldn’t tell me (pakipot). After much instigating he finally said, “Jea-" by then I figured it was me ‘cause hello! But I don’t know, all of a sudden I kind of freaked so I told him to write it on a piece of paper and put it in my bag. He obliged, but asked me to not look at it until I got home. I was gullible enough so I did what he said and the moment I got home I poured the contents out of my bag like hot water and began a frantic search for that damned piece of paper. Surely enough, as what anticipated, my name was written on it. Sheer joy, let me tell you. I screamed like a freak and weirdly enough, ‘till now, remember that weird look my sister gave me when I found out about it. This event will not be repeated until eight years later.
My most memorable childhood crush was named Aris. He lived in my aunt’s neighborhood where I pretty much spent my summers. His cousin was my sister’s friend and when I told my sister about him she told his cousin and he found out about it. I honestly don’t remember how I came to like him, but I sure as heck have liked him for a long time. Looking back now, I find it funny because I was a kid and I was stupid and I always hoped that he would pass by my aunt’s house in hopes of seeing him. It was very childish, but you know, I WAS a child then so I suppose you can’t really hold that against me. The most kilig moment I had with him was when we and a group of other kids in the neighborhood played patintero. When I learned that he would be joining us in a game that I have become skilled at, I was both nervous and giddy. I was nervous because it would be the first time I would interact with him and I was giddy because I would interact with him. He was good at the game, but I did beat him at rock, paper, scissors.
The first boy I ever became close with was named Patrick. I was sixteen and felt that I was living the sweet part of “sweet sixteen.” I’ve known him since I was nine and even then have always had a little crush on him. He was good friends with my sister so lucky for me, there were ‘connections.’ It’s funny how some of the things that remain in your mind are the ones that you never think will. I was ten and he was fourteen and we were at his and my sister’s friend’s house. They were both there because they were practicing for the cotillion dance of the said friend’s debut and I was there because I was tagging along with my sister-much to her dismay. I was sitting down, watching them dance around, and they took a little break and he came to sit next to me, put his harm around me and said, “This is my girlfriend.” You have no idea how many times I’ve told that story to my friends that time! It was something that just stuck in my mind. Until now I still remember my sister’s reply to him when he said that. Omg, and I remember stealing a picture of him from my sister and brought it to school to show my two best friends “the man” behind the story and as soon as they both saw him they just started getting giddy and then I started getting giddy and we just spent a good amount of time being giddy schoolgirls. After six years of absence, I saw him again, and to word it ‘sparks flew’ and we were sortakinda involved and it was a very happy moment in my life. He was very charming and very cute and very smart and I was just smitten. It didn’t work out and the eight-year crush has long faded already, but I’ll always think of him fondly. :)
The biggest crush I’ve ever had was on a guy named Mitchell. Three years, baby, beat that! He was a grade level above me and as I started out my year in high school, so did my admiration for him. He was just so cute and tall and smart. I paved the way for stalking crushes because I stalked him like a real lunatic with the exception of doing actual harm. I figured out his schedule, always made sure I’d pass by him during passing periods, just any person with a massive crush on someone would do. The good and rather, funny, thing about it though is that I didn’t have to work hard on my stalking skills. Some infos about him just swam their way to me as if some unseen force. It was of course an unrequited love just like all other crushes were (except of course, Chris. hehe..). He graduated from high school without ever knowing that there was a Jean that crushed on him madly. If I were to croon to him, “Do I seem familiar I’ve crossed you in hallways a thousand times?” He’d most likely reply, “I know. You were the girl with the staring problems.”
I am what you say, as I’ve read or heard from someone (sorry, this brain of mine only keeps trivial things), an SSB: single since birth. I don’t find it shameful nor do I view it as being Scarlet Letter-esque, something to be ashamed of as if it was taboo, but of course it took me a long time to realize that. When you were in junior high your hormones are just raging and of course there was that internal whine, “I want a boyfriend!!!!” But being 18 now, I’m satisfied to say that I am happy with my disposition in life. I’m SINGLE! Woohoo! And by the way, that is not a call for attention. So any boys lingering around in my journal, sorry, but the store is CLOSED.
I’m happy for couples out there, but Valentine’s Day shouldn’t just be about two people loving each other. What about loving yourself? That should be celebrated too. It’s not about being self-absorbed it’s about accepting yourself, your flaws, your uniqueness/weirdness. So, LOVE YOURSELF.
And Jake Gyllenhaal because he’s a hottie.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. <3
The first boy that I ever liked that liked me back was named Chris. I was in second grade and thought he was a cutie. He had a really good haircut (according to my second grade taste), was fair skinned, and was my seatmate. We started talking to each other and I’m sure that really made me happy. He used to like this girl though named Erica, but my charms were just so powerful that the attraction transferred to me. And thinking about that now, what if he liking her was just a fib? I clearly remember that moment when I found out that he liked me. I asked him, “Who do you like?” And he wouldn’t tell me (pakipot). After much instigating he finally said, “Jea-" by then I figured it was me ‘cause hello! But I don’t know, all of a sudden I kind of freaked so I told him to write it on a piece of paper and put it in my bag. He obliged, but asked me to not look at it until I got home. I was gullible enough so I did what he said and the moment I got home I poured the contents out of my bag like hot water and began a frantic search for that damned piece of paper. Surely enough, as what anticipated, my name was written on it. Sheer joy, let me tell you. I screamed like a freak and weirdly enough, ‘till now, remember that weird look my sister gave me when I found out about it. This event will not be repeated until eight years later.
My most memorable childhood crush was named Aris. He lived in my aunt’s neighborhood where I pretty much spent my summers. His cousin was my sister’s friend and when I told my sister about him she told his cousin and he found out about it. I honestly don’t remember how I came to like him, but I sure as heck have liked him for a long time. Looking back now, I find it funny because I was a kid and I was stupid and I always hoped that he would pass by my aunt’s house in hopes of seeing him. It was very childish, but you know, I WAS a child then so I suppose you can’t really hold that against me. The most kilig moment I had with him was when we and a group of other kids in the neighborhood played patintero. When I learned that he would be joining us in a game that I have become skilled at, I was both nervous and giddy. I was nervous because it would be the first time I would interact with him and I was giddy because I would interact with him. He was good at the game, but I did beat him at rock, paper, scissors.
The first boy I ever became close with was named Patrick. I was sixteen and felt that I was living the sweet part of “sweet sixteen.” I’ve known him since I was nine and even then have always had a little crush on him. He was good friends with my sister so lucky for me, there were ‘connections.’ It’s funny how some of the things that remain in your mind are the ones that you never think will. I was ten and he was fourteen and we were at his and my sister’s friend’s house. They were both there because they were practicing for the cotillion dance of the said friend’s debut and I was there because I was tagging along with my sister-much to her dismay. I was sitting down, watching them dance around, and they took a little break and he came to sit next to me, put his harm around me and said, “This is my girlfriend.” You have no idea how many times I’ve told that story to my friends that time! It was something that just stuck in my mind. Until now I still remember my sister’s reply to him when he said that. Omg, and I remember stealing a picture of him from my sister and brought it to school to show my two best friends “the man” behind the story and as soon as they both saw him they just started getting giddy and then I started getting giddy and we just spent a good amount of time being giddy schoolgirls. After six years of absence, I saw him again, and to word it ‘sparks flew’ and we were sortakinda involved and it was a very happy moment in my life. He was very charming and very cute and very smart and I was just smitten. It didn’t work out and the eight-year crush has long faded already, but I’ll always think of him fondly. :)
The biggest crush I’ve ever had was on a guy named Mitchell. Three years, baby, beat that! He was a grade level above me and as I started out my year in high school, so did my admiration for him. He was just so cute and tall and smart. I paved the way for stalking crushes because I stalked him like a real lunatic with the exception of doing actual harm. I figured out his schedule, always made sure I’d pass by him during passing periods, just any person with a massive crush on someone would do. The good and rather, funny, thing about it though is that I didn’t have to work hard on my stalking skills. Some infos about him just swam their way to me as if some unseen force. It was of course an unrequited love just like all other crushes were (except of course, Chris. hehe..). He graduated from high school without ever knowing that there was a Jean that crushed on him madly. If I were to croon to him, “Do I seem familiar I’ve crossed you in hallways a thousand times?” He’d most likely reply, “I know. You were the girl with the staring problems.”
I am what you say, as I’ve read or heard from someone (sorry, this brain of mine only keeps trivial things), an SSB: single since birth. I don’t find it shameful nor do I view it as being Scarlet Letter-esque, something to be ashamed of as if it was taboo, but of course it took me a long time to realize that. When you were in junior high your hormones are just raging and of course there was that internal whine, “I want a boyfriend!!!!” But being 18 now, I’m satisfied to say that I am happy with my disposition in life. I’m SINGLE! Woohoo! And by the way, that is not a call for attention. So any boys lingering around in my journal, sorry, but the store is CLOSED.
I’m happy for couples out there, but Valentine’s Day shouldn’t just be about two people loving each other. What about loving yourself? That should be celebrated too. It’s not about being self-absorbed it’s about accepting yourself, your flaws, your uniqueness/weirdness. So, LOVE YOURSELF.
And Jake Gyllenhaal because he’s a hottie.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. <3