Gift Fic For 99percentcacao
To: 99percentcacao
From: tegopyon
SEASON'S GREETINGS!
Title: Fanboy
Pairing/Group: Tegomass
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: I really hope you like this! I really wanted to see what it might be like if Massu was one of us, and this is what happened! Thanks to my beta for doing a quick job, and to fangirls everywhere for making this easier to imagine!
Summary: What is it like to be a guy in an female-dominated fandom? What is it like to be a fan in general? Masuda Takahisa is the biggest fanboy of an idol with an army of female fans, someone who often makes his life better, but more often seems to make it harder.
“One uchiwa,” a low voice spoke from amongst excited female voices. “A photoset, penlight, t-shirt…” He stopped for a moment, and took a glance up to look at the pictures and prices of the goods above the stall. “Actually, um… just get me one of everything, please,” he told the girl behind the counter politely.
With his arms full of goods, Masuda Takahisa pushed his way past the line of fans - all girls - to find a secluded corner in which to look over his new purchases and pile them all into the cloth bag that he’d just spent a small fortune on. First he tested his penlight, which was working perfectly, checked the size of his t-shirt - extra large, like everything else he owned - and then he peeled back the plastic wrapping on a set of four official photos to see if the three underneath were as wonderful as the one on top was.
And with everything piled neatly into the bag, he climbed to his feet and stretched his arms above his head as he let out a yawn, trying to forget that he’d been up since five in order to get the train to the venue early enough to get his hands on that super special wristband that was being sold today and today only. As he stretched, it slipped from his wrist to his forearm a little, and looking at it sitting beside the five others he had gotten from previous venues, he couldn’t help but think it had been well worth the early morning.
“One hour…” he murmured to himself as he pulled out his phone to check the time. His heart was already racing in anticipation of what was to come, even after the sixth time of going through it. As he stared at the picture of the star he was going to see on his phone background, a message came through to his phone,
Say hi to your mother from me! I’m jealous of all that delicious food you’re going to be eating. - Yuichi.
Massu looked at the message for a moment, and then closed it without replying and slipped his phone back into his pocket. It was bad enough that he had lied once to his best friend about his whereabouts, without having to reply and lie some more. He hated to lie, and to bring his mother into it, but this was something he wasn’t willing to share with anyone.
A staff member nearby with a loudspeaker announced that they would be commencing with letting fans into the arena, and he pulled out his precious ticket from his bag, and joined the crowds of fangirls making their way into the entrance. He paused for only a brief moment, like several others, to take a quick photograph of the huge banner displaying the name of the concert he would shortly be seeing.
To my beautiful girlfriends.
Tegoshi Yuya live tour 2013.
Sitting in the middle of his bed, the television in Massu’s bedroom was blaring out at almost maximum volume as he sorted through a pile of clothes. The sound was so loud to drown out the sounds of his crying as he dripped tears onto a red sweater. Sorting through his clothing collection was a form of comfort for him and he needed that after yet another bad day.
His mother had been so excited when he had decided to continue his education at University - the first in his family to do so for a long time - and he couldn’t bear the thought of his mother knowing that he came home and cried every night because it was so hard and because for some reason people didn’t like him. He hadn’t done anything to anyone that he knew of, he kept to himself and was always polite and cheerful, but still every day he was forced to face taunts about everything from the dimples in his cheeks to the little bit of puppy fat that still wouldn’t go away even after being almost 20 years old.
Folding up a t-shirt, he lay back on his bed for a moment to rest his back which was beginning to ache from being hunched over a pile of clothes, and closed his eyes, wiping a few tears from his cheeks. He felt so lost and even arranging his winter wardrobe wasn’t helping very much.
Then, he heard a voice. It was so clear that for a moment he thought someone was in the room with him and he sat up to see who it was before realising the voice was coming from his television.
“My fans are all so beautiful. I love them so much,” a soft voice spoke as a dazzling smile appeared on the face of the man on screen. Massu swung his legs over the side of the bed, and watched as the artist was interviewed.
Massu was buzzing as he walked amongst the crowds of fangirls out of the venue and back out into the streets. His feet were aching from standing, his arm from waving his penlight, and his heart from emotion. Even after the fifth time seeing the same concert, it still had that same effect, making his heart explode. He’d had a good seat this time, thought perhaps Tegoshi had spotted him amongst all the girls, hoping that look had been meant for him.
As he walked along back towards the train station with everyone else, he was surrounded by excited chatter about how cool Tegoshi had been tonight and how talented he was and how this was the best concert they had been to. Massu was tempted to join in conversations, but he knew from previous experience that the girls didn’t really take too kindly to him interrupting them. They usually thought because he wa a guy he couldn’t possibly understand, but he really did.
He pulled out his phone from his pocket to check it over as he walked, turning the power back on and watching as several messages he’d received during the concert downloaded.
How was the concert? Kei-chan says he hopes your wig didn’t itch too much. - Kato Shigeaki
Massu let out a deep sigh and sent a one word reply. Idiot. His friend Shige had found out about his secret a few months previously after he and their mutual friend Koyama Keiichiro had snuck into his dorm room after he’d accidentally left the door unlocked after falling asleep midway through watching one of Tegoshi’s concerts, and although both of them had been mostly accepting of his hobby, they couldn’t help but tease him sometimes about him being so in love with someone who attracted floods of girls to his concerts.
Help! The fangirls are invading the train, you’re so lucky you’re not coming this way today… - Yuchi
His other good friend Nakamaru Yuichi however, had no idea that he was a fan of Tegoshi, or that he was at this minute surrounded by those same fangirls his friend was talking about. It wasn’t exactly that he thought his friend would be angry but it wasn’t really something that came up in conversation between the two and wasn’t something he was really willing to share. He didn’t bother replying to the message, not wanting to have to lie or avoid the truth once again. He slipped his phone back in his pocket.
“He really was wonderful tonight,” a girl in front of Massu said as she boarded the train in front of him.
As he too managed to squeeze onto the train, he couldn’t help but reply quietly, “he really was.” He didn’t think the smile would leave his face for a long time.
It was well past midnight by the time Massu stood up from his computer desk and crawled into bed. The tears had long since been replaced by the glow of someone in the first stages of falling in love. He had spent the last few hours trawling the internet for information about the man he had seen on his television. He had learned that Tegoshi Yuya was an up and coming artist who had gained popularity especially with females due to his good looks and angelic voice and his way of speaking to and about his fans.
He’d watched videos, read blog entries, headed to his usual online CD shop to purchase each one of the man’s CDs, and he was amazed by how much better he felt about his life after doing these things. What did it matter if people at his college didn’t like him if he could be liked and called beautiful by someone with such a status just by being himself and being his fan?
Not able to wait for his CDs to arrive, he’d ripped the audio from one of the performances he’d watched online, and had set it to play on a loop to help him drift off to sleep. For the first time in a few months, he slept well with good dreams and was able to wake up fresh the next morning.
The following evening, Massu was in those crowds once again. This was his home city after all, and luckily for him Tegoshi Yuya was performing for three nights in the arena near his college. He had fought hard to get tickets for all three of those dates, shunning all social outings and living on cup ramen for a whole month to save the precious money from his part time job. He’d taken on overtime, exhausted himself trying to balance that and his school work, but that smile on his face after seeing the man he loved on stage once again made it all worth it.
He was half in a daze as he exited the train, singing the songs he’d heard tonight in his head as he pushed his tour bag along with the goods he’d brought along with him into a sports backpack. It was one thing walking along with fangirls with his bag proudly on show, but not so much in the streets where he could bump into someone he knew. He didn’t want to be ashamed, but it was hard when even the artist himself put so much emphasis on his female fans.
“Massu!” a voice spoke, startling Massu so much that he halted suddenly halfway through pushing in the bag, and a penlight and uchiwa fell to the ground at his feet. “How was your mom? You didn’t reply to my messages.
Massu’s heart sank and then began to beat faster as he heard the voice of Nakamaru Yuichi, and he scrambled to pick up his fallen items from the ground but Yuichi got there first, wanting to help his friend pick up the items his friend had dropped because of him. “Yuuchi, don’t -”
“Why do you have these?” Yuichi asked, amusement creeping across his face. He looked at Massu, eyes searching for an answer.
Massu tried to think of a lie, which he hated to do but face to face, it was even harder to consider telling the truth. “I… I picked them up for a friend on my way back from my mom’s house,” he finally spoke out hesitantly, knowing he had taken far too long answering to fool the other in the slightest.
A girl passed by nearby them, dressed in a pink lolita outfit and with the tour’s towel proudly displayed around her neck as she carried the bag beside her without a care in the world. Massu thought that was the worst possible moment she could have passed by, and sure enough Yuichi had spotted her as well.
“You… you were at the concert too, weren’t you?” Yuichi said in a matter-of-fact tone, his eyes displaying no emotion positively or negatively.
Massu hesitated and then nodded, his head bowed in shame.
“You didn’t go to see your mother at all.”
“No.”
Yuichi stood still for a moment, as he just looked at Massu, not saying a word. And then his lips formed four words. “I’ll see you later.”
As Yuichi turned to leave, Massu reached out and gripped hold of his shoulder. “I know it’s weird, I know I shouldn’t do this, go to these concerts, but I can’t help it, I really like him, I’m sorry, Yuichi…”
“I’m not mad because of who you like, idiot. I’m mad at you because you lied to me. Just… go home, Massu. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”
Massu let him go, deciding it was best that they parted for now. He reached down and picked up the uchiwa that had been dropped again in Yuichi’s anger, and stared at the smiling face that seemed almost to be looking back at him. “I hate you,” he whispered down at the picture as he began to slowly wander down the street towards his apartment, a few tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks.
“You seem happier lately,” Yuichi commented as they drank coffee together nearby Massu’s university campus. It had been four months since Massu had first come across Tegoshi on that night full of tears, and since then thanks to the artist his life had changed for the better. He had come clean to his mother about the torment he had been suffering every day from his classmates and had made a transfer to Yokohama, the home city of his idol, to attend university there instead. It had meant leaving his mother behind and moving out on his own for the first time, but only being an hour way, he had braved the move because he knew he could make a new life for himself this way. Honestly, he had let his childhood friend believe he had moved to Yokohama because he was already studying there.
Massu smiled. “Things seem so much better here,” he commented simply. He hadn’t let onto his friend his reason for choosing this particular university, because it was hard to explain that Tegoshi Yuya came from this city and that Tegoshi Yuya was always smiling and that he had thought maybe by coming here, he could gather a little of that happiness for himself. It had worked out, the smile on his face was proof of that.
“Is it a girl?” Yuichi laughed, and gave Massu a wink.
“Nothing like that,” Massu replied, glad that that on this occasion at least he didn’t have to lie.
It had been a long time since Massu had cried. He didn’t think he had done it since he had arrived in Yokohama, and this was certainly the first time he had questioned his decisions. He was faced against one of the few walls in his apartment that didn’t have posters of Tegoshi stuck to it, He didn’t want to look at that smiling face right now because for once it wasn’t making him happy, just more miserable. He wondered why this all had to be so hard and why he couldn’t have just fallen for a female idol instead. Would he have felt the need to lie then? Would he have been living this secret life or would he have been sharing everything with his friend and not feeling the need to hide it.
He caught the reflection of one of his posters in the mirror, and in that moment he realised it wasn’t Tegoshi’s fault. Massu had always had insecurities of one form or another and it wasn’t the idol’s fault that he had chosen to make him one of those insecurities. He turned round on his bed and picked up his laptop, wiping tears from his face and opening his Twitter page. He had never sent a message to the artist before, fearing people seeing it, but there was no one left to hide it from and he had something to ask his idol.
@TegoshiYuya I’m your fan. But I’m not beautiful and I’m not female. Is that okay?
Massu didn’t expect a reply, but just being able to express that to Tegoshi was enough for him for now. That done, he closed his laptop again and settled down to sleep, and quickly drifted off into an unsettled slumber, his dreams full of scenarios where he and Yuichi never made up.
“For your girlfriend?” the clerk at the CD store asked as Massu handed over 3 CDs, each copy of Tegoshi’s new single, Lovin’ You.
Massu looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then realised what she was getting at. He realised she had probably never seen a guy buying his CDs before. “No,” Massu replied, feeling too bad to lie even though he would probably never see this woman again in his life. “They’re for me,” he informed her.
“Oh!” the clerk replied, surprised, as she scanned the cases. “That will be 5000 yen, please,” she told him, and Massu could hear the amusement in her tone as he pulled the cash from his wallet and set them in the tray on the counter.
“Enjoy,” she told him with a smirk on her face as she handed him his change.
Massu decided he would just buy online the future.
With no plans scheduled for the day, Massu hadn’t set an alarm and finally awoke from his restless sleep around 10am. He yawned, stretched, and his heart sank as he remembered the events of the night before and he picked up his phone in the hope that there would be a message from his friend there, but there was nothing; he knew that was because it was him who had to make the first move.
For another fifteen minutes or so, he was unwilling to get out of bed, not wanting to face this, not wanting to have to see his angry friend and try to explain himself. He was just drifting off back to sleep again when he felt his phone vibrate beside him. He yawned and reached over, hoping it was a message from his friend so he didn’t have to face messaging first.
Guys can be beautiful too, maybe you’re one of the beautiful ones? Thank you for your support.
Massu blinked a little, to check he wasn’t seeing things, and then wondered if he was still dreaming and sat up suddenly in his bed. He stared at the message, and tears came into his eyes. If only he knew that all he needed was that reassurance from his idol that it was fine to be his fan, then he would have done it a long time ago.
Thank you. Everything is going to be okay, he told Tegoshi through a reply to his tweet, and then he moved to his messages and hesitated before sending a message to his friend.
Everything is going to be okay. I’m so sorry, Yuuchi. Can we meet?
It was early, but he couldn’t sleep any more. He showered, changed, and by the time he’d finished Yuichi had thankfully replied to his message and told him he would come over to Massu’s dorm. Massu’s heart almost stopped for a moment. Massu had never let Yuichi come to his dorm, had always made excuses, ‘My apartment is a mess’ or ‘I want to eat so we should meet at a cafe’, hadn’t been able to risk the other seeing his almost shrine-like room. It was strange not to have to hide it any more.
Sure, he replied after some hesitation, and he glanced across at the huge poster of Tegoshi dominating one of his walls, smiling at his idol. “Thank you,” he told him.
It was an hour later when Yuichi finally knocked on the door of his apartment. Massu had considered moving a few of his pictures and other goods to under his bed to appear less of a fan than he actually was, but he hated piling things under his bed and really, he wanted to be confident and hide nothing from his friend. He didn’t want to lie again.
He made his way to the door with caution, afraid of the reaction as he opened the door and let the other inside.
“I knew you wouldn’t have a messy bedroom,” Yuichi commented as he viewed Massu’s immaculately tidy dorm room with nothing out of place and no marks or dust to be seen. “Not when you tidy the shelves up when we go to the convenience store.”
“You never said that when I told you that was the reason you couldn’t come,” Massu commented, beckoning for the other to take a seat on his desk chair as he himself hovered nervously beside his bed.
Yuichi sat down and gave Massu a serious look. “Because I trusted that you wouldn’t lie to me.”
Massu bowed his head. “I didn’t think you would understand.” He took a seat on the bed, wringing his hands together nervously. “I mean, look at all this stuff, I thought you’d think I was weird or something…”
“Make me understand,” Yuichi spoke.
“... If someone can make you feel like a better person just by being their fan, then isn’t it natural to want to do this?” Massu asked, glancing at the poster on his wall again.
“Exactly.”
“Exactly?”
“Exactly, so why did you feel the need to hide it from me?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Idiot. I would have liked to have known, if only so I could come when you were out and drawn mustaches on them all.”
“Now who is the idiot.”
The time had finally come. The first date of the first tour since Massu had become Tegoshi’s fan, and he was there with his fanclub bought ticket waiting in line alongside thousands of other fans to be let into the venue. He was dressed in his tour t-shirt and had a bag full of goods in the tour bag under his arm, his heart pumping in excitement the closer he got to the doors.
“Excuse me, my friend is over there. Thank you. Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me. Thank you so much.”
A male voice flowed through the line as girls moved out of the way for a boy slipping through the crowd.
“AH, THERE YOU ARE. Finally.”
Massu felt a hand gripping hold of his arm, and blinked in confusion. He didn’t think he recognised this voice. He turned to where the voice was coming from and came face to face with a boy who looked younger than himself, barely an adult, looking back at him with a wide grin on his face.
“Do I… do I know you?”
“Of course!” the stranger replied, and then leaned close. “Just play along, the line was really long and I kinda need the bathroom…”
Massu let out a sigh. “Okay,” he agreed somewhat reluctantly. “Then I need to know your name,” he pointed out.
“Kento. Nakajima Kento. Nice to meet you, best friend.”
“Massu,” Massu introduced himself, not feeling like he needed to give his full name to soeone he didn’t know. “So… you’re a fan?” he asked, glancing at Kento, who was wearing the tour t-shirt too and also had a bag under his arm.
“Nah, I’m just here for the girls,” Kento grinned, and then let out a laugh. “Of COURSE I’m a fan.”
The entrance was getting closer, and soon the two were separated for a moment as they had their tickets and bags checked, but were soon reunited on the other side.
“Where is your seat?” Kento asked, as he glanced around for a bathroom sign.
“Arena, Block B,” Massu replied.
Kento was already walking away. “Me too! I’ll see you there, okay~?”
Massu nodded, and told him okay, but Kento had already disappeared through the crowds towards the bathroom.
Massu was just contemplating going to the cafeteria to buy lunch when his phone vibrated beside him on his desk. He turned away from his computer screen, where he had been about to catch up on Tegoshi and his fans’ Twitter feeds, and looked at the phone display.
Incoming call from Nakajima Kento.
“Hi, Kento. I was just about to -” Massu started, knowing that his friend liked the sound of his own voice and called him often called him just to talk about the crazy things he had been up to that day - Massu was never quite sure how many of these things were true or how many of them were exaggerations or pure lies.
“We need to go to England,” Kento’s voice spoken urgently.
“What did you do now?” Massu asked, thinking that the only possible reason Kento could be suggesting something so ridiculous was that he had gotten himself into some mess or had found a foreign girlfriend who had abandoned him to go back to her home country.
“Why do you automatically assume I did something?” Kento asked, and Massu could hear his pout even through the telephone.
“Just a hunch.”
“Well you’re wrong, this time. Tegoshi Yuya is heading there to do some soccer reports, so you know what that means~ We have to go too,” Kento explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Massu wondered if he was dreaming. “Kento, I can’t afford -”
“It’s already sorted. I told my dad we had a good friend there who just tragically passed away and of course we have to go to the funeral because what kind of terrible friends would we be if we didn’t?”
“You’re terrible,” Massu told him flatly. Of course, inside he was bursting with excitement but he always thought Kento had a habit of going a little overboard with his schemes and lies and pretending he had a friend who had died was definitely going overboard as far as he was concerned, but if it meant he could possibly see Tegoshi, then it was worth it.
“I know,” Kento laughed.
“What is this friend’s name, just in case this all comes back to haunt us.”
“Kato Shigeaki.”
“Brilliant.”
“We fly out tomorrow morning, start packing, okay?” Kento ordered, and then the line went dead.
“Which concerts are you going to?” Kento called Massu to find out his plans only a few minutes after Tegoshi’s tour was announced.
“I’m only free from University for Yokohama and Tokyo, so I guess those ones…”
“Okay. Well, for Osaka lets say you’re terribly ill with the flu and can’t make it to university, and then there’s that pressing engagement in Sapporo that you just can’t miss, and oh, don’t you have a grandmother in Fukuoka?”
“Are you serious?” Massu was almost afraid to ask.
“Of course I’m serious, I’ll be round in an hour with your ballot forms.”
Sometimes, Massu thought it was best not to bother arguing with Kento. He never won, anyway.
It was cold in England, was Massu’s first thought as they stood against the wall of a toilet block in the parking lot for the stadium in which a soccer match was going to be taking place that afternoon. Massu was the kind of person who didn’t like to wear layer upon layer of clothes but he was beginning to regret not bringing along an extra jacket.
They had arrived the night before and he had immediately unpacked and collapsed to sleep in their hotel room, whereas Kento had been as energetic as always even after the thirteen hour flight and had stayed up all night perfecting their action plan for the day, which was what had led them to be here early in the morning outside the currently deserted stadium.
While Kento had been in charge of planning the trip, Massu had been put in charge of making them uchiwas to stand out when Tegoshi finally did arrive. His hands were shivering, but Massu was determined to hold it proudly in the hope it would be seen. Kento was beside him with his own, equally enthusiastic and pleased with himself that they had made it this far.
“When is he due to arrive?” Massu asked.
“20 minutes,” Kento replied confidently.
“How do you know?”
“I called up the agency pretending to be from the stadium wanting to know for security purposes.”
“Of course you did,” Massu replied, wondering why he had ever doubted him.
Massu pulled out his phone to check the time, and found there was a message there.
Good luck today! I really hope you get to meet him! - Yuichi
The fact that his friend was supporting him on his trip warmed him on the inside, and maybe he didn’t need that extra jacket after all.
The pair waited mostly in silence for that twenty minutes, both lost in their own thoughts of what they might do or say when and assuming Tegoshi would finally arrive. Kento would occasionally ask Massu what he was going to do, but Massu didn’t really have an answer for him because he really wasn’t sure himself and he was certain that whatever he did decide on would get lost in nervousness when he finally did come face to face with his idol.
Almost exactly 20 minutes later, a car pulled into the parking lot. It was a normal car, obviously expensive and high quality but with none of the tinted windows that idols in Japan got to hide them from the eyes of their fans as they headed to their venues. That either meant that this wasn’t Tegoshi, or that the staff hadn’t expected any fans to be here.
“Come on,” Kento spoke excitedly, and grabbed Massu by the arm, beginning to dash across the parking lot towards the car pulling up in front of the stadium’s entrance. Massu never knew how fast he could run until this moment, in this situation, where if it was Tegoshi there, he didn’t want to miss him by getting there a couple of minutes after he had gone inside.
The door of the car opened as they got close and Massu’s heart started thumping almost uncontrollably as he saw a mop of blonde hair underneath a black baseball cap being worn by the man who had just appeared.
“Tegoshi!” he spoke out before he was able to restrain himself, and then clamped his hands over his own mouth, wondering where that sudden courage had come from. The man by the car turned to look at him, and even with the mask covering his face both Massu and Kento knew who it was in the car.
As Tegoshi looked towards them, seeming surprised to find fans here, his manager got out of the back seat of the car and approached them himself. “We’re on a busy schedule, he doesn’t have time to meet fans.”
“Hey, we came all the way from Japan!” Kento pouted, while Massu kept back a little, a little less confident and more accepting of the manager’s response than Kento seemed to be.
Tegoshi stepped forward a little, laughing at the manager and patted him on the shoulder. “You need to relax a little. We have plenty of time,” he told the man, and then pulled the mask down from his face, giving the two fans a wide grin. “Don’t worry about him, he’s way too serious. Did you really come all the way from Japan?” he asked, eyeing Massu who had suddenly become very shy.
“Y-yes,” Massu stuttered, not quite able to believe he was standing face to face with his idol. “Kento… Kento found out you were going to be here, and we really wanted to meet you.” He pushed his uchiwa close to his chest, gripping it tightly to try and hide the shaking in his fingers.
“Thank you,” Tegoshi beamed at the pair. Massu studied his smile, and then the nervous expression on his own began to fade a little. Tegoshi’s face was so comforting somehow, and he didn’t feel like he needed to be scared any more. Kento, it seemed, was almost bubbling over with excitement.
“We came all the way here by plane, it was so long, right? You know, right? You just got here too, right? I bet that’s why you look so tired -”
“Kento,” Massu hissed, but he looked up as Tegoshi laughed.
“I’m exhausted,” Tegoshi admitted, and then reached out and took one of Kento’s hands in one of his ad Massu’s in the other. “So I’m sorry if I don’t look my best, but thank you so much for coming! Usually it’s girls who follow me to other countries,” he laughed.
Massu felt his chest tighten a little. “But it’s okay, right? That we’re guys.”
“Oh of course!” Tegoshi exclaimed. “To be honest sometimes those girl’s voices give me a headache, this is far more civilised. I’m glad that guys like me too, really.”
“That- that’s good,” Massu told him, the smile returning to his face. Somehow hearing it face to face made him feel even better than having previously heard it through Twitter.
Suddenly, Tegoshi leaned forwards and pulled the pair of them into a light hug. Massu’s heart felt like it stopped just for a moment. He glanced at his friend out of the corner of his eye and he could tell that this meant as much to Kento as it did to him
“It’s really cold out here, why don’t we go inside and talk some more?” the idol asked as he pulled back a little from the hug.
Without even checking, Tegoshi nodded to his manager and beckoned for the others to follow them inside the stadium.
Massu’s hands were still shaking as he followed Tegoshi and his manager, along with Kento, towards the building, but he managed to pull his phone from his pocket.
We did it.
The message he sent to his friend Yuichi was simple, but to the point, told him all he needed to know. And it warmed his heart to know that he could share this with the other without fear - the man he was following had taken all of that fear away. He couldn’t wait to share this experience with his friend when he got back home already, and it hadn’t even ended yet.
He had slowed down a little while typing and Kento slowed his pace to fall in line with him and encourage him to speed up. “Lets go,” Kento told him, and then lowered his voice a little. “Hey, do you think they have free food in there?” he asked hopefully.
Massu laughed. “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him,” he suggested, and Kento skipped off towards the other as if he hadn’t thought of that before. Massu heard him discussing the possibility of food with the idol, as his phone flashed up with another message.
England?! I hope you remembered your wig! Bring me back a teapot. - Kato Shigeaki
Massu grinned and typed back a message. No wig necessary. Deal on the teapot.
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he sped up to catch up with the group just in time to hear that there was indeed free food inside and that they were welcome to as much as they wanted.
Today, I met my idol. He’s just as beautiful in person as in his pictures.
Tegoshi Yuya taught me it was okay to be myself, and meeting him was an honour.
As they finally entered the room that Tegoshi was to be staying in for the day, Massu had one thought in his mind: that this commentary he was writing in his head would make an amazing blog post when he got home.
From: tegopyon
SEASON'S GREETINGS!
Title: Fanboy
Pairing/Group: Tegomass
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: I really hope you like this! I really wanted to see what it might be like if Massu was one of us, and this is what happened! Thanks to my beta for doing a quick job, and to fangirls everywhere for making this easier to imagine!
Summary: What is it like to be a guy in an female-dominated fandom? What is it like to be a fan in general? Masuda Takahisa is the biggest fanboy of an idol with an army of female fans, someone who often makes his life better, but more often seems to make it harder.
“One uchiwa,” a low voice spoke from amongst excited female voices. “A photoset, penlight, t-shirt…” He stopped for a moment, and took a glance up to look at the pictures and prices of the goods above the stall. “Actually, um… just get me one of everything, please,” he told the girl behind the counter politely.
With his arms full of goods, Masuda Takahisa pushed his way past the line of fans - all girls - to find a secluded corner in which to look over his new purchases and pile them all into the cloth bag that he’d just spent a small fortune on. First he tested his penlight, which was working perfectly, checked the size of his t-shirt - extra large, like everything else he owned - and then he peeled back the plastic wrapping on a set of four official photos to see if the three underneath were as wonderful as the one on top was.
And with everything piled neatly into the bag, he climbed to his feet and stretched his arms above his head as he let out a yawn, trying to forget that he’d been up since five in order to get the train to the venue early enough to get his hands on that super special wristband that was being sold today and today only. As he stretched, it slipped from his wrist to his forearm a little, and looking at it sitting beside the five others he had gotten from previous venues, he couldn’t help but think it had been well worth the early morning.
“One hour…” he murmured to himself as he pulled out his phone to check the time. His heart was already racing in anticipation of what was to come, even after the sixth time of going through it. As he stared at the picture of the star he was going to see on his phone background, a message came through to his phone,
Say hi to your mother from me! I’m jealous of all that delicious food you’re going to be eating. - Yuichi.
Massu looked at the message for a moment, and then closed it without replying and slipped his phone back into his pocket. It was bad enough that he had lied once to his best friend about his whereabouts, without having to reply and lie some more. He hated to lie, and to bring his mother into it, but this was something he wasn’t willing to share with anyone.
A staff member nearby with a loudspeaker announced that they would be commencing with letting fans into the arena, and he pulled out his precious ticket from his bag, and joined the crowds of fangirls making their way into the entrance. He paused for only a brief moment, like several others, to take a quick photograph of the huge banner displaying the name of the concert he would shortly be seeing.
To my beautiful girlfriends.
Tegoshi Yuya live tour 2013.
Sitting in the middle of his bed, the television in Massu’s bedroom was blaring out at almost maximum volume as he sorted through a pile of clothes. The sound was so loud to drown out the sounds of his crying as he dripped tears onto a red sweater. Sorting through his clothing collection was a form of comfort for him and he needed that after yet another bad day.
His mother had been so excited when he had decided to continue his education at University - the first in his family to do so for a long time - and he couldn’t bear the thought of his mother knowing that he came home and cried every night because it was so hard and because for some reason people didn’t like him. He hadn’t done anything to anyone that he knew of, he kept to himself and was always polite and cheerful, but still every day he was forced to face taunts about everything from the dimples in his cheeks to the little bit of puppy fat that still wouldn’t go away even after being almost 20 years old.
Folding up a t-shirt, he lay back on his bed for a moment to rest his back which was beginning to ache from being hunched over a pile of clothes, and closed his eyes, wiping a few tears from his cheeks. He felt so lost and even arranging his winter wardrobe wasn’t helping very much.
Then, he heard a voice. It was so clear that for a moment he thought someone was in the room with him and he sat up to see who it was before realising the voice was coming from his television.
“My fans are all so beautiful. I love them so much,” a soft voice spoke as a dazzling smile appeared on the face of the man on screen. Massu swung his legs over the side of the bed, and watched as the artist was interviewed.
Massu was buzzing as he walked amongst the crowds of fangirls out of the venue and back out into the streets. His feet were aching from standing, his arm from waving his penlight, and his heart from emotion. Even after the fifth time seeing the same concert, it still had that same effect, making his heart explode. He’d had a good seat this time, thought perhaps Tegoshi had spotted him amongst all the girls, hoping that look had been meant for him.
As he walked along back towards the train station with everyone else, he was surrounded by excited chatter about how cool Tegoshi had been tonight and how talented he was and how this was the best concert they had been to. Massu was tempted to join in conversations, but he knew from previous experience that the girls didn’t really take too kindly to him interrupting them. They usually thought because he wa a guy he couldn’t possibly understand, but he really did.
He pulled out his phone from his pocket to check it over as he walked, turning the power back on and watching as several messages he’d received during the concert downloaded.
How was the concert? Kei-chan says he hopes your wig didn’t itch too much. - Kato Shigeaki
Massu let out a deep sigh and sent a one word reply. Idiot. His friend Shige had found out about his secret a few months previously after he and their mutual friend Koyama Keiichiro had snuck into his dorm room after he’d accidentally left the door unlocked after falling asleep midway through watching one of Tegoshi’s concerts, and although both of them had been mostly accepting of his hobby, they couldn’t help but tease him sometimes about him being so in love with someone who attracted floods of girls to his concerts.
Help! The fangirls are invading the train, you’re so lucky you’re not coming this way today… - Yuchi
His other good friend Nakamaru Yuichi however, had no idea that he was a fan of Tegoshi, or that he was at this minute surrounded by those same fangirls his friend was talking about. It wasn’t exactly that he thought his friend would be angry but it wasn’t really something that came up in conversation between the two and wasn’t something he was really willing to share. He didn’t bother replying to the message, not wanting to have to lie or avoid the truth once again. He slipped his phone back in his pocket.
“He really was wonderful tonight,” a girl in front of Massu said as she boarded the train in front of him.
As he too managed to squeeze onto the train, he couldn’t help but reply quietly, “he really was.” He didn’t think the smile would leave his face for a long time.
It was well past midnight by the time Massu stood up from his computer desk and crawled into bed. The tears had long since been replaced by the glow of someone in the first stages of falling in love. He had spent the last few hours trawling the internet for information about the man he had seen on his television. He had learned that Tegoshi Yuya was an up and coming artist who had gained popularity especially with females due to his good looks and angelic voice and his way of speaking to and about his fans.
He’d watched videos, read blog entries, headed to his usual online CD shop to purchase each one of the man’s CDs, and he was amazed by how much better he felt about his life after doing these things. What did it matter if people at his college didn’t like him if he could be liked and called beautiful by someone with such a status just by being himself and being his fan?
Not able to wait for his CDs to arrive, he’d ripped the audio from one of the performances he’d watched online, and had set it to play on a loop to help him drift off to sleep. For the first time in a few months, he slept well with good dreams and was able to wake up fresh the next morning.
The following evening, Massu was in those crowds once again. This was his home city after all, and luckily for him Tegoshi Yuya was performing for three nights in the arena near his college. He had fought hard to get tickets for all three of those dates, shunning all social outings and living on cup ramen for a whole month to save the precious money from his part time job. He’d taken on overtime, exhausted himself trying to balance that and his school work, but that smile on his face after seeing the man he loved on stage once again made it all worth it.
He was half in a daze as he exited the train, singing the songs he’d heard tonight in his head as he pushed his tour bag along with the goods he’d brought along with him into a sports backpack. It was one thing walking along with fangirls with his bag proudly on show, but not so much in the streets where he could bump into someone he knew. He didn’t want to be ashamed, but it was hard when even the artist himself put so much emphasis on his female fans.
“Massu!” a voice spoke, startling Massu so much that he halted suddenly halfway through pushing in the bag, and a penlight and uchiwa fell to the ground at his feet. “How was your mom? You didn’t reply to my messages.
Massu’s heart sank and then began to beat faster as he heard the voice of Nakamaru Yuichi, and he scrambled to pick up his fallen items from the ground but Yuichi got there first, wanting to help his friend pick up the items his friend had dropped because of him. “Yuuchi, don’t -”
“Why do you have these?” Yuichi asked, amusement creeping across his face. He looked at Massu, eyes searching for an answer.
Massu tried to think of a lie, which he hated to do but face to face, it was even harder to consider telling the truth. “I… I picked them up for a friend on my way back from my mom’s house,” he finally spoke out hesitantly, knowing he had taken far too long answering to fool the other in the slightest.
A girl passed by nearby them, dressed in a pink lolita outfit and with the tour’s towel proudly displayed around her neck as she carried the bag beside her without a care in the world. Massu thought that was the worst possible moment she could have passed by, and sure enough Yuichi had spotted her as well.
“You… you were at the concert too, weren’t you?” Yuichi said in a matter-of-fact tone, his eyes displaying no emotion positively or negatively.
Massu hesitated and then nodded, his head bowed in shame.
“You didn’t go to see your mother at all.”
“No.”
Yuichi stood still for a moment, as he just looked at Massu, not saying a word. And then his lips formed four words. “I’ll see you later.”
As Yuichi turned to leave, Massu reached out and gripped hold of his shoulder. “I know it’s weird, I know I shouldn’t do this, go to these concerts, but I can’t help it, I really like him, I’m sorry, Yuichi…”
“I’m not mad because of who you like, idiot. I’m mad at you because you lied to me. Just… go home, Massu. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”
Massu let him go, deciding it was best that they parted for now. He reached down and picked up the uchiwa that had been dropped again in Yuichi’s anger, and stared at the smiling face that seemed almost to be looking back at him. “I hate you,” he whispered down at the picture as he began to slowly wander down the street towards his apartment, a few tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks.
“You seem happier lately,” Yuichi commented as they drank coffee together nearby Massu’s university campus. It had been four months since Massu had first come across Tegoshi on that night full of tears, and since then thanks to the artist his life had changed for the better. He had come clean to his mother about the torment he had been suffering every day from his classmates and had made a transfer to Yokohama, the home city of his idol, to attend university there instead. It had meant leaving his mother behind and moving out on his own for the first time, but only being an hour way, he had braved the move because he knew he could make a new life for himself this way. Honestly, he had let his childhood friend believe he had moved to Yokohama because he was already studying there.
Massu smiled. “Things seem so much better here,” he commented simply. He hadn’t let onto his friend his reason for choosing this particular university, because it was hard to explain that Tegoshi Yuya came from this city and that Tegoshi Yuya was always smiling and that he had thought maybe by coming here, he could gather a little of that happiness for himself. It had worked out, the smile on his face was proof of that.
“Is it a girl?” Yuichi laughed, and gave Massu a wink.
“Nothing like that,” Massu replied, glad that that on this occasion at least he didn’t have to lie.
It had been a long time since Massu had cried. He didn’t think he had done it since he had arrived in Yokohama, and this was certainly the first time he had questioned his decisions. He was faced against one of the few walls in his apartment that didn’t have posters of Tegoshi stuck to it, He didn’t want to look at that smiling face right now because for once it wasn’t making him happy, just more miserable. He wondered why this all had to be so hard and why he couldn’t have just fallen for a female idol instead. Would he have felt the need to lie then? Would he have been living this secret life or would he have been sharing everything with his friend and not feeling the need to hide it.
He caught the reflection of one of his posters in the mirror, and in that moment he realised it wasn’t Tegoshi’s fault. Massu had always had insecurities of one form or another and it wasn’t the idol’s fault that he had chosen to make him one of those insecurities. He turned round on his bed and picked up his laptop, wiping tears from his face and opening his Twitter page. He had never sent a message to the artist before, fearing people seeing it, but there was no one left to hide it from and he had something to ask his idol.
@TegoshiYuya I’m your fan. But I’m not beautiful and I’m not female. Is that okay?
Massu didn’t expect a reply, but just being able to express that to Tegoshi was enough for him for now. That done, he closed his laptop again and settled down to sleep, and quickly drifted off into an unsettled slumber, his dreams full of scenarios where he and Yuichi never made up.
“For your girlfriend?” the clerk at the CD store asked as Massu handed over 3 CDs, each copy of Tegoshi’s new single, Lovin’ You.
Massu looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then realised what she was getting at. He realised she had probably never seen a guy buying his CDs before. “No,” Massu replied, feeling too bad to lie even though he would probably never see this woman again in his life. “They’re for me,” he informed her.
“Oh!” the clerk replied, surprised, as she scanned the cases. “That will be 5000 yen, please,” she told him, and Massu could hear the amusement in her tone as he pulled the cash from his wallet and set them in the tray on the counter.
“Enjoy,” she told him with a smirk on her face as she handed him his change.
Massu decided he would just buy online the future.
With no plans scheduled for the day, Massu hadn’t set an alarm and finally awoke from his restless sleep around 10am. He yawned, stretched, and his heart sank as he remembered the events of the night before and he picked up his phone in the hope that there would be a message from his friend there, but there was nothing; he knew that was because it was him who had to make the first move.
For another fifteen minutes or so, he was unwilling to get out of bed, not wanting to face this, not wanting to have to see his angry friend and try to explain himself. He was just drifting off back to sleep again when he felt his phone vibrate beside him. He yawned and reached over, hoping it was a message from his friend so he didn’t have to face messaging first.
Guys can be beautiful too, maybe you’re one of the beautiful ones? Thank you for your support.
Massu blinked a little, to check he wasn’t seeing things, and then wondered if he was still dreaming and sat up suddenly in his bed. He stared at the message, and tears came into his eyes. If only he knew that all he needed was that reassurance from his idol that it was fine to be his fan, then he would have done it a long time ago.
Thank you. Everything is going to be okay, he told Tegoshi through a reply to his tweet, and then he moved to his messages and hesitated before sending a message to his friend.
Everything is going to be okay. I’m so sorry, Yuuchi. Can we meet?
It was early, but he couldn’t sleep any more. He showered, changed, and by the time he’d finished Yuichi had thankfully replied to his message and told him he would come over to Massu’s dorm. Massu’s heart almost stopped for a moment. Massu had never let Yuichi come to his dorm, had always made excuses, ‘My apartment is a mess’ or ‘I want to eat so we should meet at a cafe’, hadn’t been able to risk the other seeing his almost shrine-like room. It was strange not to have to hide it any more.
Sure, he replied after some hesitation, and he glanced across at the huge poster of Tegoshi dominating one of his walls, smiling at his idol. “Thank you,” he told him.
It was an hour later when Yuichi finally knocked on the door of his apartment. Massu had considered moving a few of his pictures and other goods to under his bed to appear less of a fan than he actually was, but he hated piling things under his bed and really, he wanted to be confident and hide nothing from his friend. He didn’t want to lie again.
He made his way to the door with caution, afraid of the reaction as he opened the door and let the other inside.
“I knew you wouldn’t have a messy bedroom,” Yuichi commented as he viewed Massu’s immaculately tidy dorm room with nothing out of place and no marks or dust to be seen. “Not when you tidy the shelves up when we go to the convenience store.”
“You never said that when I told you that was the reason you couldn’t come,” Massu commented, beckoning for the other to take a seat on his desk chair as he himself hovered nervously beside his bed.
Yuichi sat down and gave Massu a serious look. “Because I trusted that you wouldn’t lie to me.”
Massu bowed his head. “I didn’t think you would understand.” He took a seat on the bed, wringing his hands together nervously. “I mean, look at all this stuff, I thought you’d think I was weird or something…”
“Make me understand,” Yuichi spoke.
“... If someone can make you feel like a better person just by being their fan, then isn’t it natural to want to do this?” Massu asked, glancing at the poster on his wall again.
“Exactly.”
“Exactly?”
“Exactly, so why did you feel the need to hide it from me?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Idiot. I would have liked to have known, if only so I could come when you were out and drawn mustaches on them all.”
“Now who is the idiot.”
The time had finally come. The first date of the first tour since Massu had become Tegoshi’s fan, and he was there with his fanclub bought ticket waiting in line alongside thousands of other fans to be let into the venue. He was dressed in his tour t-shirt and had a bag full of goods in the tour bag under his arm, his heart pumping in excitement the closer he got to the doors.
“Excuse me, my friend is over there. Thank you. Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me. Thank you so much.”
A male voice flowed through the line as girls moved out of the way for a boy slipping through the crowd.
“AH, THERE YOU ARE. Finally.”
Massu felt a hand gripping hold of his arm, and blinked in confusion. He didn’t think he recognised this voice. He turned to where the voice was coming from and came face to face with a boy who looked younger than himself, barely an adult, looking back at him with a wide grin on his face.
“Do I… do I know you?”
“Of course!” the stranger replied, and then leaned close. “Just play along, the line was really long and I kinda need the bathroom…”
Massu let out a sigh. “Okay,” he agreed somewhat reluctantly. “Then I need to know your name,” he pointed out.
“Kento. Nakajima Kento. Nice to meet you, best friend.”
“Massu,” Massu introduced himself, not feeling like he needed to give his full name to soeone he didn’t know. “So… you’re a fan?” he asked, glancing at Kento, who was wearing the tour t-shirt too and also had a bag under his arm.
“Nah, I’m just here for the girls,” Kento grinned, and then let out a laugh. “Of COURSE I’m a fan.”
The entrance was getting closer, and soon the two were separated for a moment as they had their tickets and bags checked, but were soon reunited on the other side.
“Where is your seat?” Kento asked, as he glanced around for a bathroom sign.
“Arena, Block B,” Massu replied.
Kento was already walking away. “Me too! I’ll see you there, okay~?”
Massu nodded, and told him okay, but Kento had already disappeared through the crowds towards the bathroom.
Massu was just contemplating going to the cafeteria to buy lunch when his phone vibrated beside him on his desk. He turned away from his computer screen, where he had been about to catch up on Tegoshi and his fans’ Twitter feeds, and looked at the phone display.
Incoming call from Nakajima Kento.
“Hi, Kento. I was just about to -” Massu started, knowing that his friend liked the sound of his own voice and called him often called him just to talk about the crazy things he had been up to that day - Massu was never quite sure how many of these things were true or how many of them were exaggerations or pure lies.
“We need to go to England,” Kento’s voice spoken urgently.
“What did you do now?” Massu asked, thinking that the only possible reason Kento could be suggesting something so ridiculous was that he had gotten himself into some mess or had found a foreign girlfriend who had abandoned him to go back to her home country.
“Why do you automatically assume I did something?” Kento asked, and Massu could hear his pout even through the telephone.
“Just a hunch.”
“Well you’re wrong, this time. Tegoshi Yuya is heading there to do some soccer reports, so you know what that means~ We have to go too,” Kento explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Massu wondered if he was dreaming. “Kento, I can’t afford -”
“It’s already sorted. I told my dad we had a good friend there who just tragically passed away and of course we have to go to the funeral because what kind of terrible friends would we be if we didn’t?”
“You’re terrible,” Massu told him flatly. Of course, inside he was bursting with excitement but he always thought Kento had a habit of going a little overboard with his schemes and lies and pretending he had a friend who had died was definitely going overboard as far as he was concerned, but if it meant he could possibly see Tegoshi, then it was worth it.
“I know,” Kento laughed.
“What is this friend’s name, just in case this all comes back to haunt us.”
“Kato Shigeaki.”
“Brilliant.”
“We fly out tomorrow morning, start packing, okay?” Kento ordered, and then the line went dead.
“Which concerts are you going to?” Kento called Massu to find out his plans only a few minutes after Tegoshi’s tour was announced.
“I’m only free from University for Yokohama and Tokyo, so I guess those ones…”
“Okay. Well, for Osaka lets say you’re terribly ill with the flu and can’t make it to university, and then there’s that pressing engagement in Sapporo that you just can’t miss, and oh, don’t you have a grandmother in Fukuoka?”
“Are you serious?” Massu was almost afraid to ask.
“Of course I’m serious, I’ll be round in an hour with your ballot forms.”
Sometimes, Massu thought it was best not to bother arguing with Kento. He never won, anyway.
It was cold in England, was Massu’s first thought as they stood against the wall of a toilet block in the parking lot for the stadium in which a soccer match was going to be taking place that afternoon. Massu was the kind of person who didn’t like to wear layer upon layer of clothes but he was beginning to regret not bringing along an extra jacket.
They had arrived the night before and he had immediately unpacked and collapsed to sleep in their hotel room, whereas Kento had been as energetic as always even after the thirteen hour flight and had stayed up all night perfecting their action plan for the day, which was what had led them to be here early in the morning outside the currently deserted stadium.
While Kento had been in charge of planning the trip, Massu had been put in charge of making them uchiwas to stand out when Tegoshi finally did arrive. His hands were shivering, but Massu was determined to hold it proudly in the hope it would be seen. Kento was beside him with his own, equally enthusiastic and pleased with himself that they had made it this far.
“When is he due to arrive?” Massu asked.
“20 minutes,” Kento replied confidently.
“How do you know?”
“I called up the agency pretending to be from the stadium wanting to know for security purposes.”
“Of course you did,” Massu replied, wondering why he had ever doubted him.
Massu pulled out his phone to check the time, and found there was a message there.
Good luck today! I really hope you get to meet him! - Yuichi
The fact that his friend was supporting him on his trip warmed him on the inside, and maybe he didn’t need that extra jacket after all.
The pair waited mostly in silence for that twenty minutes, both lost in their own thoughts of what they might do or say when and assuming Tegoshi would finally arrive. Kento would occasionally ask Massu what he was going to do, but Massu didn’t really have an answer for him because he really wasn’t sure himself and he was certain that whatever he did decide on would get lost in nervousness when he finally did come face to face with his idol.
Almost exactly 20 minutes later, a car pulled into the parking lot. It was a normal car, obviously expensive and high quality but with none of the tinted windows that idols in Japan got to hide them from the eyes of their fans as they headed to their venues. That either meant that this wasn’t Tegoshi, or that the staff hadn’t expected any fans to be here.
“Come on,” Kento spoke excitedly, and grabbed Massu by the arm, beginning to dash across the parking lot towards the car pulling up in front of the stadium’s entrance. Massu never knew how fast he could run until this moment, in this situation, where if it was Tegoshi there, he didn’t want to miss him by getting there a couple of minutes after he had gone inside.
The door of the car opened as they got close and Massu’s heart started thumping almost uncontrollably as he saw a mop of blonde hair underneath a black baseball cap being worn by the man who had just appeared.
“Tegoshi!” he spoke out before he was able to restrain himself, and then clamped his hands over his own mouth, wondering where that sudden courage had come from. The man by the car turned to look at him, and even with the mask covering his face both Massu and Kento knew who it was in the car.
As Tegoshi looked towards them, seeming surprised to find fans here, his manager got out of the back seat of the car and approached them himself. “We’re on a busy schedule, he doesn’t have time to meet fans.”
“Hey, we came all the way from Japan!” Kento pouted, while Massu kept back a little, a little less confident and more accepting of the manager’s response than Kento seemed to be.
Tegoshi stepped forward a little, laughing at the manager and patted him on the shoulder. “You need to relax a little. We have plenty of time,” he told the man, and then pulled the mask down from his face, giving the two fans a wide grin. “Don’t worry about him, he’s way too serious. Did you really come all the way from Japan?” he asked, eyeing Massu who had suddenly become very shy.
“Y-yes,” Massu stuttered, not quite able to believe he was standing face to face with his idol. “Kento… Kento found out you were going to be here, and we really wanted to meet you.” He pushed his uchiwa close to his chest, gripping it tightly to try and hide the shaking in his fingers.
“Thank you,” Tegoshi beamed at the pair. Massu studied his smile, and then the nervous expression on his own began to fade a little. Tegoshi’s face was so comforting somehow, and he didn’t feel like he needed to be scared any more. Kento, it seemed, was almost bubbling over with excitement.
“We came all the way here by plane, it was so long, right? You know, right? You just got here too, right? I bet that’s why you look so tired -”
“Kento,” Massu hissed, but he looked up as Tegoshi laughed.
“I’m exhausted,” Tegoshi admitted, and then reached out and took one of Kento’s hands in one of his ad Massu’s in the other. “So I’m sorry if I don’t look my best, but thank you so much for coming! Usually it’s girls who follow me to other countries,” he laughed.
Massu felt his chest tighten a little. “But it’s okay, right? That we’re guys.”
“Oh of course!” Tegoshi exclaimed. “To be honest sometimes those girl’s voices give me a headache, this is far more civilised. I’m glad that guys like me too, really.”
“That- that’s good,” Massu told him, the smile returning to his face. Somehow hearing it face to face made him feel even better than having previously heard it through Twitter.
Suddenly, Tegoshi leaned forwards and pulled the pair of them into a light hug. Massu’s heart felt like it stopped just for a moment. He glanced at his friend out of the corner of his eye and he could tell that this meant as much to Kento as it did to him
“It’s really cold out here, why don’t we go inside and talk some more?” the idol asked as he pulled back a little from the hug.
Without even checking, Tegoshi nodded to his manager and beckoned for the others to follow them inside the stadium.
Massu’s hands were still shaking as he followed Tegoshi and his manager, along with Kento, towards the building, but he managed to pull his phone from his pocket.
We did it.
The message he sent to his friend Yuichi was simple, but to the point, told him all he needed to know. And it warmed his heart to know that he could share this with the other without fear - the man he was following had taken all of that fear away. He couldn’t wait to share this experience with his friend when he got back home already, and it hadn’t even ended yet.
He had slowed down a little while typing and Kento slowed his pace to fall in line with him and encourage him to speed up. “Lets go,” Kento told him, and then lowered his voice a little. “Hey, do you think they have free food in there?” he asked hopefully.
Massu laughed. “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him,” he suggested, and Kento skipped off towards the other as if he hadn’t thought of that before. Massu heard him discussing the possibility of food with the idol, as his phone flashed up with another message.
England?! I hope you remembered your wig! Bring me back a teapot. - Kato Shigeaki
Massu grinned and typed back a message. No wig necessary. Deal on the teapot.
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he sped up to catch up with the group just in time to hear that there was indeed free food inside and that they were welcome to as much as they wanted.
Today, I met my idol. He’s just as beautiful in person as in his pictures.
Tegoshi Yuya taught me it was okay to be myself, and meeting him was an honour.
As they finally entered the room that Tegoshi was to be staying in for the day, Massu had one thought in his mind: that this commentary he was writing in his head would make an amazing blog post when he got home.