(no subject)
I hate holding my fucking tongue when I'm angry. I don't want to say something that I'll regret later, but at the same time they are things I KNOW are true (for me at least)... regardless of any angry/bitter bias I have during this period of time. I guess even if something is true, it's better not said sometimes - despite how much you desire to say it. I hate to do it, but I need to swallow this anger and bottle it up for now.
Eventually, I'll be able to say these things if I still believe them. Sometimes there's a time and a place... and right now is neither of those.
I thought I would welcome anger over sadness, but I was wrong. This anger is more toxic than the overwhelming sadness. I need to find a way to manage it when it comes, or it's going to end up destroying me. There's fire in my blood - I just want to get through all of this.
Eventually, I'll be able to say these things if I still believe them. Sometimes there's a time and a place... and right now is neither of those.
I thought I would welcome anger over sadness, but I was wrong. This anger is more toxic than the overwhelming sadness. I need to find a way to manage it when it comes, or it's going to end up destroying me. There's fire in my blood - I just want to get through all of this.