Behind the Beautiful Forevers
I just finished a book by Katherine Boo titled Behind the Beautiful Forevers which is a documentary about 4 years the author spent in an Indian slum. It basically chronicled the suffering and posed more questions than answers about the inequalities across human existence. It's especially fascinating to me since I read it start to finish during my honeymoon, a honeymoon that presented a wealthy lifestyle that I don't quite know come to terms with.
Throughout most of my life, I have felt a responsibility to spend as little of my money as possible on myself and then donate the rest to charity. I can't say that I have done enough of that but something in me tells me that my resources are not just my resources whether it be time or money. This paradigm has led to lots of guilt and struggle every time that my resources aren't used in accordance with this policy. As I have gotten older, time and experience have relaxed my constraints and I have been more selfish with my resources. Part of me fears that such strong constraints in my life come to the detriment of my overall life experience and everything that I can really offer to this world.
After reading Katherine Boo's documentary, I find myself even more confused about my responsibility to those in less fortunate positions. When you think about money, it's something that is exchanged between two people. When I buy something from someone else, I am providing them with financial compensation to fulfill their needs. Is spending money just as beneficial to society as donating money? Maybe more since exchange of goods is more sustainable than charity? It just feels weird to think about spending money at a really fancy resort to meet a desire as opposed to a need while poor people live in huts and struggle to find their next meal. The unfairness of that makes it much harder for me to completely embrace a luxury vacation regardless of how pleasurable the experience. We are all born on this Earth, how are the resources that I accumulate any more mine than someone else? Especially if I accumulated those resources through a man made system? But if I work harder and more strategically, doesn't it seem like justice should be on my side? But that assumes that I am solely responsible for all of the resources that I accumulate. That assumes my circumstances aren't partially responsible for my success.