I just want to SCREAM
I am in such a hard place in my life right now. I know that God is working through me and is trying to change my life to be a strong woman in Christ. I just do not understand the hand of God and why He has us go through some of the trials we do. I really thought this summer was going to be amazing and free from problems with people. I thought it was the summer to focus on God and what He wants me to do. I realized what I thought was the goal for the summer was so ridiculously selfish it makes me hurt.
My heart wants to scream out so loud about everything that I am feeling.
I am torn apart inside that I am about to lose my best friend in the entire world in a week. I know that it is only a few months that she is gone but I am devastated. And what sucks even more is the fact that I feel like right now she is so focused on other people that I am just a thought in her head. I want to talk to her but I dont know what to say. I know that she is struggling with how she should spend her time before she leaves. I also understand that she is going through and phase in her life that she needs to work out on her own how to divide up her time and what is more important a friendship or the person you think you are going to marry.
Every night for the past week I have just prayed and cried so hard just wondering how she felt toward me and her leaving.
I sound so retarded, you would think I was talking about Jordan because of how upset I am.
At the same time I would give anything to be able to spend that much time with Jordan right before he leaves but I know that is impossible.
As a friend I just need to step back and allow her to feed her relationship right now before she leaves.
On top of all this emotional stuff, I am struggling in my own home with respect. I really dont understand how someone can move into your home and not ask you if it is ok that their bf spends the night or that if it is ok to drink with their friends. AHHHHHHHHH!!! This so frustrating. I guess we will just have to do it like the dorms. Sit down talk it out and sign a roommate contract.
Lord Please Give Me STRENGTH!!!!
My heart wants to scream out so loud about everything that I am feeling.
I am torn apart inside that I am about to lose my best friend in the entire world in a week. I know that it is only a few months that she is gone but I am devastated. And what sucks even more is the fact that I feel like right now she is so focused on other people that I am just a thought in her head. I want to talk to her but I dont know what to say. I know that she is struggling with how she should spend her time before she leaves. I also understand that she is going through and phase in her life that she needs to work out on her own how to divide up her time and what is more important a friendship or the person you think you are going to marry.
Every night for the past week I have just prayed and cried so hard just wondering how she felt toward me and her leaving.
I sound so retarded, you would think I was talking about Jordan because of how upset I am.
At the same time I would give anything to be able to spend that much time with Jordan right before he leaves but I know that is impossible.
As a friend I just need to step back and allow her to feed her relationship right now before she leaves.
On top of all this emotional stuff, I am struggling in my own home with respect. I really dont understand how someone can move into your home and not ask you if it is ok that their bf spends the night or that if it is ok to drink with their friends. AHHHHHHHHH!!! This so frustrating. I guess we will just have to do it like the dorms. Sit down talk it out and sign a roommate contract.
Lord Please Give Me STRENGTH!!!!