Redemption Chapter 16B
Jensen’s eyes snapped back into focus and he tore them away from where he’d been staring at the damning double doors at the opposite end of the waiting room. From the entrance came the twins, running around and between the hurt and ill patients still needing to be seen, their arms extended and faces glossy with flowing tears. He slipped from his seat into a crouch in time to catch them and pulled them close to his body, kissing their saltwater stained cheeks and soaking up the comfort of their warm bodies. He stood, one arm supporting each boy as they clung to his neck, to see his parents walking toward him.
Jostling the twins in an attempt to quiet their cries, Jensen was hugged by first his mother then his father. “What are you doing here?” He murmured quietly, voice rough from his own tears and being silent for so long.
“They were beside themselves,” Karen smoothed soothing hands down trembling backs. “They don’t need us right now. They need you.” She palmed her son’s cheek, heart aching at the pain she saw on his face as much as it did for the young man lying somewhere in the depths of this building.
Jensen nodded and hugged the boys tighter to his chest, their sobs vibrating against his neck where they were hiding. He hadn’t wanted them here, didn’t want to upset them, traumatize them, but truth be told, he probably needed them as much as they needed him.
“Have they told you anything?” Alex cupped his son’s shoulder.
Jensen swallowed, eyes fluttering shut as he shook his head slowly. “Frances and Robert?” He looked to his mother.
“Making arrangements now. They’ll call when they have flight times.” She patted his arm.
Jensen nodded his head and took a deep breath, nostril flaring as he tried to keep his eyes dry. He sat down, adjusting the twins on his lap.
Benji’s head lifted and teary green eyes stared straight into Jensen’s. “Where’s Daddy?”
Jensen gave the boy a watery smile. “The nice doctors and nurses are still taking care of him.”
“Is he going to be okay?” Benji played with a button on Jensen’s shirt, tracing the pearl circle with his finger then flicking it as he sniffled. Still buried in the crook of Jensen’s neck, Teddy froze, waiting.
“I don’t know yet,” Jensen answered truthfully.
Benji lay his head back down, still idly fingering the buttons. “Daddy fought back,” he whispered and Jensen could feel the fabric of his shirt dampening at both shoulders. “He’s never fought back before. Father was so mad.” Benji shivered.
“What did Father do?” Jensen was so focused on the twins that he hadn’t realized that Sheriff Jones had come over. The older man was crouched beside his chair and looking at the boys with friendly eyes.
“Not now, Tommy Lee,” Jensen warned.
“Jensen, they were there,” Jones reasoned. “If Jared…,” he trailed off, “they’re the only ones that saw what happened. They’re our only witnesses.”
“They’re my sons!” Jensen seethed, bouncing his legs when the boys whimpered at the harshness of his tone. He felt Steve and Chris’ hands on his arms and he tried to calm down for the twins’ sake
“I know that, but they could put Timothy away. Even if they love him, they wouldn’t want him to…”
“Father hates us,” Teddy cut him off, his face red in anger when it emerged from his hiding place. “He said so. And I hate him. He - he said he never cared about us. He said we were d-diposable. He hit Daddy and kicked him.” Teddy’s tears were coming fast and hard, the words pouring from him like purged poison. His body convulsed with the sobs that disrupted and contorted his sentences. Jensen tried to calm him, but the boy wouldn’t be soothed. Benji clutched his hand in Jensen’s shirt, listening to his brother. “He - he said it was time for us to see wh-what a b-bitch Daddy was. How p-pretty Daddy cried. He - he - he,” Teddy lost his breath on a great, wet hiccups that ended in a heart-wrenching sob.
Jensen hugged the boys closer to him, his eyes locked on the sheriff. Jones patted the twins on the back, cleared his throat and stood, walking toward the door. He kept his back turned to the room and Jensen saw his shoulders trembling.
The twins cries dwindled, their small bodies unable to sustain the act for long before their tears ran dry. They sat in miserable silence, clinging to Jensen, as they quaked through the aftershocks. Clearing his throat, Jensen started the only thing he knew would calm them.
“At the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows and no birds ever sing excepting old crows…is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.”
Rigid muscles relaxed in increments beneath his hands until soon he held two pliant children, exhaustion and fear and worry combining with the lulling words of the bedtime story to sap their strength. Jensen’s low voice continued to paint the Once-ler’s tale about the plight of the Swomee-Swans, the Brown Bar-ba-loots and the Humming-Fish, stuttering breaths against his damp neck slowing and evening out as the Truffula Trees disappeared.
“Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back,” he finished, rubbing hands up and down small backs. He leaned his head against the wall behind him and stared at the ceiling, oblivious to the wet eyes watching him.
Time dragged on, Jensen measuring its passage by counting the puffs of air across his skin. He was in the three hundreds when a commotion at the door drew his eyes from the acoustic tiles above him.
“Where is he?!” The voice had a hysterical edge to it.
“Chad, please. Calm down. This isn’t helping.” Penn’s soft tone only seemed to rile the blonde man up more.
“Don’t. Tell me. To calm. Down,” Chad seethed through his teeth, eyes piercing his boyfriend like daggers. His normally styled hair was standing on end and his hands were closed in tight fists. “Someone tell me where Jared is!”
Jensen slowly made his way to his feet, center of balance thrown off by the sleeping twins in his arms.
“Chad, they’ll call security if you don’t get ahold of yourself.” Joseph stepped between the irate man and Penn. Chad exuded a ragged, barely contained aura of violence, a ticking time bomb, and he wanted Penn out of the blast zone when he exploded. His feelings for Penn might have changed - no longer the unrequited love he’d felt before he met Tom - but that didn’t mean that Penn wasn’t still his best friend.
“I don’t care! Let them call the fucking Army as far as I’m concerned. Somebody better start imparting some serious info in a hurry.”
Jensen navigated through the still numerous people seated in chairs and wheelchairs, shushing the boys gently when Chad’s angry words threatened to rouse them. He’d known Chad for a long time, but he’d never seen him as anything but the quirky goofball. If Timothy had seen Chad like this, he might not have so easily dismissed him as a threat all those years ago. Chad looked…formidable.
“Mate,” Hardy placed a large hand on Chad’s shoulder, lifting it quickly when fierce blue eyes leveled him with a glare. Holding the hand up in surrender, Hardy continued, “Joseph’s right. You won’t be any good to Jared in jail.”
Chad snorted. “Who’s gonna arrest me? The entire sheriff’s department is here.” Chad flung a hand around the waiting room and Jensen stopped. He blinked and took in the people he’d been weaving through, realizing that most of them were friends and family. Dakota and Austin were huddled in the corner by Jensen’s parents; Milo and Sandy were talking quietly against a wall; Sam Ferris was holding Jim Beaver’s hand, stroking the back with her thumb; Tom and Mike, still in uniform, were standing near the coffee maker with Styrofoam cups in their hands; Misha and Vicky perused the vending machine offerings; Sheriff Jones had an arm draped comfortingly around his wife who sat beside a distraught Danneel; Steve and Chris trailed behind him in case they were needed. His heart warmed at seeing so many there, all waiting for news on Jared.
“Jensen!” Chad rushed forward, anger now finding a focus. Chris and Steve instinctively stepped up to stand on either side of Jensen. “What the hell, man? I go to the Amazon for a month and you let the fucker get ahold of him again. How could you? I trusted you to keep him safe! Fuck, he trusted you.” Teddy whimpered slightly and Jensen pressed a kiss the boy’s head quieting him again.
“Now, wait a goddamn minute,” Chris snarled.
“No, he’s right,” Jensen agreed softly. Chad hadn’t said anything that Jensen didn’t already think. “I didn’t protect him…them.” He kissed the boys again.
“No, Jensen,” Chris protested. “He’s been off filming some documentary in fucking Brazil. He has no idea what’s been going on here. None of this was your fault.”
“I promised to keep them safe. That I’d never let him hurt them again,” Jensen’s vision went blurry with unshed tears. “I failed and Jared suffering because of it.”
“Jenny,” Chad’s eyes were soft, his anger now vented leaving behind only pain.
“Jensen?”
Jensen turned to see Dr. Morgan standing at the double doors, surgical cap clutched in one hand. The physician’s face was drawn and tired, his lips set in a tight line that made Jensen’s stomach sink. He’d known JD since he was a kid and had never seen the man this serious. He took a step, but was stopped by a restraining hand on his arm.
“Give us the boys.” Steve was already reaching out for Benji. Jensen wanted to object. He was certain that the only reason he was still sane was the comforting weight of the twins in his arms, but he knew it was probably best that he talk to JD alone. He needed to be strong for Benji and Teddy and if it was bad news, he wasn’t sure he could keep a hold of his tremulous composure. Reluctantly, he passed Benji to Steve and Teddy to Chris, pressing kisses to the back of their heads before crossing to the doctor. Friends and family stood, giving him reassuring smiles, as he passed and he tried to smile back, but knew it fell short.
He was led into a small room, JD’s hand a warm presence on his back that sent chills up and down his spine. In his line of work, he’d witnessed a lot of people receive news and when hospital staff led you to the consultation rooms, it was never good. In Chicago they called these rooms the ‘I’m sorry, but’ rooms, the staff always beginning their speeches with those words - I’m sorry, but your son was raped, I’m sorry but your husband didn’t make it, I’m sorry we did everything we could, but your wife’s injuries were too great. He bit his lip to stop the trembling and turned watery eyes to the doctor. “He’s dead.” A weight settled in his stomach as he said the words and for a moment Jensen wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up, pass out or break down. He sat down on the vinyl covered couch, shaking hands clasped tightly between his legs.
“What?” JD looked at him in confusion. “No,” he shook his head vehemently. “No, Jared’s in recovery.”
“Recovery?” Jensen repeated, a tiny flicker of hope sparking in his chest. “But this is the ‘I’m sorry, but’ room.”
JD studied him for a minute before realizing what Jensen’s words must mean. “Jen, I didn’t mean to alarm you. I just wanted somewhere private so we could talk. Right now, Jared’s stable.”
“Stable?” That little flicker of hope grew to a small flame.
“Like I said, right now Jared is stable.” JD’s eyes were serious again. JD sat next to him and placed his hand on Jensen’s knee. “His injuries were severe and the next few days will be crucial.”
“What were his injuries…exactly?”
“It’s probably going to be hard to hear.” JD squeezed his knee.
“Tell me.” Jensen stared at his hands.
JD searched his face. It was never easy to tell family about their loved ones, but Jensen was different. He’d known the man since he was little, had treated him for everything from a broken arm when he was six to a ruptured appendix when he was sixteen. Taking a breath, he nodded, deciding that the only way he would get through this was to pretend that Jared was just another patient and that Jensen was just another family member. “The damage to his face and neck were largely soft tissue, no fractures. He has two broken and two cracked ribs on the right side. From the looks of it, he was probably kicked repeatedly although a few of the cracks looked like they were in the beginning stages of healing so I’m guessing he’d been injured there in the past week as well.”
Jensen nodded, remembering Jared flinching when the twins hugged him yesterday. “But that’s not all,” he prompted.
“No,” JD looked down and licked his lips. “One of the broken ribs punctured Jared’s right lung, collapsing it. He developed a hemopneumothorax,” at seeing Jensen’s raised brow, he explained, “the empty space where his lung was, filled with air and blood. He underwent surgery to repair the damage done by the rib and we put in two chest tubes. Once the air and fluid is drained, the lung should re-inflate. Both the bones in Jared’s left forearm were broken as well as two of the small bones in his left hand and his right ulna. We were able to manually set the hand and the right arm, but had to put in plates and screws in the left. He has widespread bruising to the back and both of his kidneys took a beating, but don’t seem to have suffered permanent damage. His left shin is bruised pretty bad and the right tibia is fractured. Amazingly the abdomen doesn’t seem to have taken any of the abuse which is good because…”
“Is that everything?” Jensen interrupted, needing to get it all out now, not sure he could handle finding out more later.
“Other than the concussion and the more personal injuries.”
Jensen just stared and waited for JD to continue, mind still reeling from the laundry list of Jared’s injuries.
JD hesitated for a minute, deliberating on how to put this next bit of information. “There was significant…trauma to the rectum that would indicate that Jared was forced…” He let the sentence trail off.
“Jared was raped?” Jensen gasped, face paling. He felt bile rise in his throat and he swallowed it down.
“Yes,” JD started, then sighed, professionalism waning. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t distance himself. This was Jensen. “I’m so sorry, Jensen. We did the kit, but didn’t find any evidence of semen. Looks like whoever it was used a condom. It also,” he stopped unable to continue.
“It also, what?”
JD looked at Jensen, regret clouding his eyes. “From what I can tell from the examination, it wasn’t the first time…recently.”
Rage bubbled up from somewhere dark and deep in Jensen’s soul. He could taste the hatred in the back of his throat, thick and cloying on his tongue, and his hands curled into tight fists. Timothy had… He took a cleansing breath and tried to focus on what was important. Revenge would come later, but it would come. “Is he going to be okay?”
JD smiled slightly. “Right now he’s in a coma and he might need more surgeries down the road, but barring any complications…”
Jensen sagged into the sofa, relief cutting the strings that had kept him upright. “He’s going to be okay,” he sighed.
“You know I can’t guarantee that,” JD felt the need to warn. “Kid’s tough though. More than you or I, that’s for damn sure. Far as I can tell, Jared and the baby are both going to be fine.”
“Baby?!”
“Yeah,” JD frowned.
“Jared’s pregnant?”
“He just found out yesterday. Actually,” JD scrunched his face in thought, “he might not know. I left it on his answering machine last night. I don’t know if he got the message.” Realizing that this might be the first time that Jensen had heard the news, he paled. “Oh, God. Jensen, I’m so sorry. You didn’t know yet.”
“No,” Jensen breathed, “I didn’t.” Jared was pregnant. He sat quiet for a minute until a thought occurred to him that had him grabbing his rebelling stomach. Jared was pregnant and JD had just told him that Timothy had forced himself on Jared. What if the pregnancy was because he’d been raped? “H-how far along?”
“Ten weeks, give or take a few days.” JD knew where Jensen’s mind had gone.
“Ten weeks pregnant?” Jared was ten weeks pregnant. Even Jensen’s addled brain could do the math. He felt shell-shocked. Jared was pregnant with his baby. He was going to be a father!
Jensen’s earlier rage came back. Timothy had not only almost taken Jared from him, he almost took his unborn child too. He tried to swallow it down, he had questions that needed answering. “You said the baby is okay though, right?”
“From what I can see, yes. The heartbeat is strong and the ultrasound looks good. Baby is measuring right on track.” JD looked at him and pursed his lips. “Hold on a minute. I’ll be right back.” The man got up and quickly walked out of the room, returning with a folder before Jensen had really acknowledged his absence.
“Here,” JD handed him a small, slick piece of paper.
Jensen stared at the grainy black and white picture, brows creased in confusion. He tilted his head to the side, expression clearing as understanding dawned. “Is this…?” He looked up at the doctor.
“That’s your baby,” JD confirmed.
“Can - can I have this?” Jensen’s eyes were drawn back to the picture, finger tracing the image. He could just make out a head and tiny little arms.
“Keep it,” JD smiled. “That little bundle of yours probably helped save Jared’s life.”
Jensen forced his gaze away from the photo. “How so?”
“During pregnancy, the body’s blood supply increases anywhere from forty to fifty percent to accommodate the fetus. That extra blood volume allowed Jared’s body to compensate longer despite the significant blood loss,” JD explained. “If he hadn’t been pregnant, he probably would have succumbed to his injuries.”
Jensen smiled down at his little hero. A new fear crept up his spine. “Did the blood loss hurt the baby?” Another following quick on the first’s heels. “What about the coma?”
“No,” JD assured him, “Jared didn’t lose enough to affect the baby and the coma might actually be beneficial. In the coma, Jared is not putting any additional demands on his body. It’s being allowed to heal. I should warn you that if Jared needs any more surgeries, there might be a risk to the baby.” JD held up his hand when Jensen looked like he was about to say something. “That’s if he needs more surgeries. You’re still listed in Jared’s medical files as the one to make decisions so you’ll be advised of the risks to both Jared and the baby should that occur so you can give informed consent.”
Jensen nodded his head, thankful that Timothy had never thought to check on that small detail. The thought of that bastard having any kind of control over Jared’s health, let alone his child’s, made his stomach churn. He stared down at the picture again.
“I take it this is a good thing then?” JD asked, pointing at the picture.
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, “it’s a good thing, and once Jared is better, it’ll be a great thing.”
*****
Jensen stood in the doorway of Jared’s ICU room transfixed by the impossibly small looking form on the bed. Wires and tubes ran over Jared’s skin and under his hospital gown, connecting him to the myriad of machines surrounding the head of his bed. Clicks, whirs and whooshes filled the air in a song of vitality, of life. Jensen stumbled forward, eyes taking in the purpling bruises and angry cuts on Jared’s face and the exposed portions of his skin, the fiberglass casts. He leaned over the rail and pressed a kiss to the battered man’s temple, careful of the tube that was forcing air into Jared’s lungs.
He wrapped his fingers around Jared’s protruding from the cast on his left hand, his other hand resting gently on Jared’s still flat abdomen. His baby was in there. It was still sinking in.
He’d staggered back to the waiting room, the gathered crowd mistaking his stunned expression as indicating the worse. He’d been pulled from his whirling thoughts of we’re having a baby by their heartbroken gasps. He’d quickly relayed the information that JD had given him about Jared’s injuries to belay their fears.
He smiled at his Momma’s perceptive, “There’s something you’re not telling us, isn’t there?”
He held out the picture, her worried expression transforming to one of pure joy. “Jared’s pregnant?”
He could only nod, his own smile growing. “Ten weeks,” he finally managed.
“Holy shit. That’s awesome!” Chad crowed, thumping him on the back.
“Son, I’m so proud of you,” Alex gushed, wrapping Jensen in a hug.
Austin was quiet and Jensen could hear him thinking. “The baby’s okay, right? I mean, even after,” he waved his hand around.
“Yeah, the baby’s good. There might be some risk if Jared has to have more surgeries, but, as of right now, Daddy and baby are fine.” He took in his brother’s uncharacteristically reserved demeanor and wondered if being here was bringing back memories of when his wife, Tracy, was sick, but Austin’s face cleared as he pulled Jensen into a hug of his own.
“That’s great, bro. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
Dakota and Sandy’s squeals when they saw the sonogram woke the twins and they blinked blearily at the happy group giving Jensen congratulations.
“Papa?” Teddy yawned, small hands rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Is Daddy okay?”
“Sounds like it, buddy,” Jensen came over and scooped the boy from Chris’ arms. “He’s got some boo-boos that will take a while to heal and he’ll have to stay here a while, so we have to be patient.” Jensen wasn’t ready to tell the boys about the baby. He wanted Jared to be with him, wanted that honor to be theirs.
“When can we see him?” Benji muttered grumpily, the slow waker of the two.
“Well,” Jensen sat next to Steve who still held Benji and situated Teddy in his lap. “Daddy is sleeping now and probably will for a while. They’ve got him in a special room that is real quiet so he can rest up. As soon as he’s done sleeping, I’ll bring you up there to see him, but it might be a few days.”
Tears fell down rounded cheeks as the boys cried for their Daddy, the pain of further separation after their earlier fear that they’d lost him forcing salt water to run freely. Jensen soothed them, drying their faces and eventually they’d drifted off back to sleep. Once news had come down that Jared had been moved to his room, Karen and Alex took the twins back to Jensen’s house.
“You gotta wake up, Jay,” Jensen murmured, brushing a lock of hair back out of Jared’s face. “There are two little boys that are waiting to see you.” He smiled slightly, “Not to mention this big boy that needs you, too.” His eyes watered, “I’m so sorry, Jared. I - I let you down. I should’ve…” He squeezed Jared’s fingers when words failed him and frowned at the hard, sharp press in his hand. He opened his fingers to see that hated ring still on Jared’s finger, that gaudy hunk of metal and stone that Timothy had put there staking his claim.
Jensen’s jaw clenched and he gently rotated the platinum circle on Jared’s slightly swollen finger until he was able to slip it off. He held the extravagant piece of jewelry in his hand then closed his fingers around it and shoved it in his pocket. Anger and vengeance and hatred were going to have to wait, Jensen’s priority was getting Jared and their baby well, but after that he’d make time. He pulled the chair beside Jared’s bed closer and sat down, leaning forward to put his hand back on Jared’s abdomen. The ring pinched his thigh through the cloth of his jeans, but he didn’t make any move to adjust it. It was his reminder of the things he still had to do and his promise that he would do them.
Jostling the twins in an attempt to quiet their cries, Jensen was hugged by first his mother then his father. “What are you doing here?” He murmured quietly, voice rough from his own tears and being silent for so long.
“They were beside themselves,” Karen smoothed soothing hands down trembling backs. “They don’t need us right now. They need you.” She palmed her son’s cheek, heart aching at the pain she saw on his face as much as it did for the young man lying somewhere in the depths of this building.
Jensen nodded and hugged the boys tighter to his chest, their sobs vibrating against his neck where they were hiding. He hadn’t wanted them here, didn’t want to upset them, traumatize them, but truth be told, he probably needed them as much as they needed him.
“Have they told you anything?” Alex cupped his son’s shoulder.
Jensen swallowed, eyes fluttering shut as he shook his head slowly. “Frances and Robert?” He looked to his mother.
“Making arrangements now. They’ll call when they have flight times.” She patted his arm.
Jensen nodded his head and took a deep breath, nostril flaring as he tried to keep his eyes dry. He sat down, adjusting the twins on his lap.
Benji’s head lifted and teary green eyes stared straight into Jensen’s. “Where’s Daddy?”
Jensen gave the boy a watery smile. “The nice doctors and nurses are still taking care of him.”
“Is he going to be okay?” Benji played with a button on Jensen’s shirt, tracing the pearl circle with his finger then flicking it as he sniffled. Still buried in the crook of Jensen’s neck, Teddy froze, waiting.
“I don’t know yet,” Jensen answered truthfully.
Benji lay his head back down, still idly fingering the buttons. “Daddy fought back,” he whispered and Jensen could feel the fabric of his shirt dampening at both shoulders. “He’s never fought back before. Father was so mad.” Benji shivered.
“What did Father do?” Jensen was so focused on the twins that he hadn’t realized that Sheriff Jones had come over. The older man was crouched beside his chair and looking at the boys with friendly eyes.
“Not now, Tommy Lee,” Jensen warned.
“Jensen, they were there,” Jones reasoned. “If Jared…,” he trailed off, “they’re the only ones that saw what happened. They’re our only witnesses.”
“They’re my sons!” Jensen seethed, bouncing his legs when the boys whimpered at the harshness of his tone. He felt Steve and Chris’ hands on his arms and he tried to calm down for the twins’ sake
“I know that, but they could put Timothy away. Even if they love him, they wouldn’t want him to…”
“Father hates us,” Teddy cut him off, his face red in anger when it emerged from his hiding place. “He said so. And I hate him. He - he said he never cared about us. He said we were d-diposable. He hit Daddy and kicked him.” Teddy’s tears were coming fast and hard, the words pouring from him like purged poison. His body convulsed with the sobs that disrupted and contorted his sentences. Jensen tried to calm him, but the boy wouldn’t be soothed. Benji clutched his hand in Jensen’s shirt, listening to his brother. “He - he said it was time for us to see wh-what a b-bitch Daddy was. How p-pretty Daddy cried. He - he - he,” Teddy lost his breath on a great, wet hiccups that ended in a heart-wrenching sob.
Jensen hugged the boys closer to him, his eyes locked on the sheriff. Jones patted the twins on the back, cleared his throat and stood, walking toward the door. He kept his back turned to the room and Jensen saw his shoulders trembling.
The twins cries dwindled, their small bodies unable to sustain the act for long before their tears ran dry. They sat in miserable silence, clinging to Jensen, as they quaked through the aftershocks. Clearing his throat, Jensen started the only thing he knew would calm them.
“At the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows and no birds ever sing excepting old crows…is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.”
Rigid muscles relaxed in increments beneath his hands until soon he held two pliant children, exhaustion and fear and worry combining with the lulling words of the bedtime story to sap their strength. Jensen’s low voice continued to paint the Once-ler’s tale about the plight of the Swomee-Swans, the Brown Bar-ba-loots and the Humming-Fish, stuttering breaths against his damp neck slowing and evening out as the Truffula Trees disappeared.
“Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back,” he finished, rubbing hands up and down small backs. He leaned his head against the wall behind him and stared at the ceiling, oblivious to the wet eyes watching him.
Time dragged on, Jensen measuring its passage by counting the puffs of air across his skin. He was in the three hundreds when a commotion at the door drew his eyes from the acoustic tiles above him.
“Where is he?!” The voice had a hysterical edge to it.
“Chad, please. Calm down. This isn’t helping.” Penn’s soft tone only seemed to rile the blonde man up more.
“Don’t. Tell me. To calm. Down,” Chad seethed through his teeth, eyes piercing his boyfriend like daggers. His normally styled hair was standing on end and his hands were closed in tight fists. “Someone tell me where Jared is!”
Jensen slowly made his way to his feet, center of balance thrown off by the sleeping twins in his arms.
“Chad, they’ll call security if you don’t get ahold of yourself.” Joseph stepped between the irate man and Penn. Chad exuded a ragged, barely contained aura of violence, a ticking time bomb, and he wanted Penn out of the blast zone when he exploded. His feelings for Penn might have changed - no longer the unrequited love he’d felt before he met Tom - but that didn’t mean that Penn wasn’t still his best friend.
“I don’t care! Let them call the fucking Army as far as I’m concerned. Somebody better start imparting some serious info in a hurry.”
Jensen navigated through the still numerous people seated in chairs and wheelchairs, shushing the boys gently when Chad’s angry words threatened to rouse them. He’d known Chad for a long time, but he’d never seen him as anything but the quirky goofball. If Timothy had seen Chad like this, he might not have so easily dismissed him as a threat all those years ago. Chad looked…formidable.
“Mate,” Hardy placed a large hand on Chad’s shoulder, lifting it quickly when fierce blue eyes leveled him with a glare. Holding the hand up in surrender, Hardy continued, “Joseph’s right. You won’t be any good to Jared in jail.”
Chad snorted. “Who’s gonna arrest me? The entire sheriff’s department is here.” Chad flung a hand around the waiting room and Jensen stopped. He blinked and took in the people he’d been weaving through, realizing that most of them were friends and family. Dakota and Austin were huddled in the corner by Jensen’s parents; Milo and Sandy were talking quietly against a wall; Sam Ferris was holding Jim Beaver’s hand, stroking the back with her thumb; Tom and Mike, still in uniform, were standing near the coffee maker with Styrofoam cups in their hands; Misha and Vicky perused the vending machine offerings; Sheriff Jones had an arm draped comfortingly around his wife who sat beside a distraught Danneel; Steve and Chris trailed behind him in case they were needed. His heart warmed at seeing so many there, all waiting for news on Jared.
“Jensen!” Chad rushed forward, anger now finding a focus. Chris and Steve instinctively stepped up to stand on either side of Jensen. “What the hell, man? I go to the Amazon for a month and you let the fucker get ahold of him again. How could you? I trusted you to keep him safe! Fuck, he trusted you.” Teddy whimpered slightly and Jensen pressed a kiss the boy’s head quieting him again.
“Now, wait a goddamn minute,” Chris snarled.
“No, he’s right,” Jensen agreed softly. Chad hadn’t said anything that Jensen didn’t already think. “I didn’t protect him…them.” He kissed the boys again.
“No, Jensen,” Chris protested. “He’s been off filming some documentary in fucking Brazil. He has no idea what’s been going on here. None of this was your fault.”
“I promised to keep them safe. That I’d never let him hurt them again,” Jensen’s vision went blurry with unshed tears. “I failed and Jared suffering because of it.”
“Jenny,” Chad’s eyes were soft, his anger now vented leaving behind only pain.
“Jensen?”
Jensen turned to see Dr. Morgan standing at the double doors, surgical cap clutched in one hand. The physician’s face was drawn and tired, his lips set in a tight line that made Jensen’s stomach sink. He’d known JD since he was a kid and had never seen the man this serious. He took a step, but was stopped by a restraining hand on his arm.
“Give us the boys.” Steve was already reaching out for Benji. Jensen wanted to object. He was certain that the only reason he was still sane was the comforting weight of the twins in his arms, but he knew it was probably best that he talk to JD alone. He needed to be strong for Benji and Teddy and if it was bad news, he wasn’t sure he could keep a hold of his tremulous composure. Reluctantly, he passed Benji to Steve and Teddy to Chris, pressing kisses to the back of their heads before crossing to the doctor. Friends and family stood, giving him reassuring smiles, as he passed and he tried to smile back, but knew it fell short.
He was led into a small room, JD’s hand a warm presence on his back that sent chills up and down his spine. In his line of work, he’d witnessed a lot of people receive news and when hospital staff led you to the consultation rooms, it was never good. In Chicago they called these rooms the ‘I’m sorry, but’ rooms, the staff always beginning their speeches with those words - I’m sorry, but your son was raped, I’m sorry but your husband didn’t make it, I’m sorry we did everything we could, but your wife’s injuries were too great. He bit his lip to stop the trembling and turned watery eyes to the doctor. “He’s dead.” A weight settled in his stomach as he said the words and for a moment Jensen wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up, pass out or break down. He sat down on the vinyl covered couch, shaking hands clasped tightly between his legs.
“What?” JD looked at him in confusion. “No,” he shook his head vehemently. “No, Jared’s in recovery.”
“Recovery?” Jensen repeated, a tiny flicker of hope sparking in his chest. “But this is the ‘I’m sorry, but’ room.”
JD studied him for a minute before realizing what Jensen’s words must mean. “Jen, I didn’t mean to alarm you. I just wanted somewhere private so we could talk. Right now, Jared’s stable.”
“Stable?” That little flicker of hope grew to a small flame.
“Like I said, right now Jared is stable.” JD’s eyes were serious again. JD sat next to him and placed his hand on Jensen’s knee. “His injuries were severe and the next few days will be crucial.”
“What were his injuries…exactly?”
“It’s probably going to be hard to hear.” JD squeezed his knee.
“Tell me.” Jensen stared at his hands.
JD searched his face. It was never easy to tell family about their loved ones, but Jensen was different. He’d known the man since he was little, had treated him for everything from a broken arm when he was six to a ruptured appendix when he was sixteen. Taking a breath, he nodded, deciding that the only way he would get through this was to pretend that Jared was just another patient and that Jensen was just another family member. “The damage to his face and neck were largely soft tissue, no fractures. He has two broken and two cracked ribs on the right side. From the looks of it, he was probably kicked repeatedly although a few of the cracks looked like they were in the beginning stages of healing so I’m guessing he’d been injured there in the past week as well.”
Jensen nodded, remembering Jared flinching when the twins hugged him yesterday. “But that’s not all,” he prompted.
“No,” JD looked down and licked his lips. “One of the broken ribs punctured Jared’s right lung, collapsing it. He developed a hemopneumothorax,” at seeing Jensen’s raised brow, he explained, “the empty space where his lung was, filled with air and blood. He underwent surgery to repair the damage done by the rib and we put in two chest tubes. Once the air and fluid is drained, the lung should re-inflate. Both the bones in Jared’s left forearm were broken as well as two of the small bones in his left hand and his right ulna. We were able to manually set the hand and the right arm, but had to put in plates and screws in the left. He has widespread bruising to the back and both of his kidneys took a beating, but don’t seem to have suffered permanent damage. His left shin is bruised pretty bad and the right tibia is fractured. Amazingly the abdomen doesn’t seem to have taken any of the abuse which is good because…”
“Is that everything?” Jensen interrupted, needing to get it all out now, not sure he could handle finding out more later.
“Other than the concussion and the more personal injuries.”
Jensen just stared and waited for JD to continue, mind still reeling from the laundry list of Jared’s injuries.
JD hesitated for a minute, deliberating on how to put this next bit of information. “There was significant…trauma to the rectum that would indicate that Jared was forced…” He let the sentence trail off.
“Jared was raped?” Jensen gasped, face paling. He felt bile rise in his throat and he swallowed it down.
“Yes,” JD started, then sighed, professionalism waning. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t distance himself. This was Jensen. “I’m so sorry, Jensen. We did the kit, but didn’t find any evidence of semen. Looks like whoever it was used a condom. It also,” he stopped unable to continue.
“It also, what?”
JD looked at Jensen, regret clouding his eyes. “From what I can tell from the examination, it wasn’t the first time…recently.”
Rage bubbled up from somewhere dark and deep in Jensen’s soul. He could taste the hatred in the back of his throat, thick and cloying on his tongue, and his hands curled into tight fists. Timothy had… He took a cleansing breath and tried to focus on what was important. Revenge would come later, but it would come. “Is he going to be okay?”
JD smiled slightly. “Right now he’s in a coma and he might need more surgeries down the road, but barring any complications…”
Jensen sagged into the sofa, relief cutting the strings that had kept him upright. “He’s going to be okay,” he sighed.
“You know I can’t guarantee that,” JD felt the need to warn. “Kid’s tough though. More than you or I, that’s for damn sure. Far as I can tell, Jared and the baby are both going to be fine.”
“Baby?!”
“Yeah,” JD frowned.
“Jared’s pregnant?”
“He just found out yesterday. Actually,” JD scrunched his face in thought, “he might not know. I left it on his answering machine last night. I don’t know if he got the message.” Realizing that this might be the first time that Jensen had heard the news, he paled. “Oh, God. Jensen, I’m so sorry. You didn’t know yet.”
“No,” Jensen breathed, “I didn’t.” Jared was pregnant. He sat quiet for a minute until a thought occurred to him that had him grabbing his rebelling stomach. Jared was pregnant and JD had just told him that Timothy had forced himself on Jared. What if the pregnancy was because he’d been raped? “H-how far along?”
“Ten weeks, give or take a few days.” JD knew where Jensen’s mind had gone.
“Ten weeks pregnant?” Jared was ten weeks pregnant. Even Jensen’s addled brain could do the math. He felt shell-shocked. Jared was pregnant with his baby. He was going to be a father!
Jensen’s earlier rage came back. Timothy had not only almost taken Jared from him, he almost took his unborn child too. He tried to swallow it down, he had questions that needed answering. “You said the baby is okay though, right?”
“From what I can see, yes. The heartbeat is strong and the ultrasound looks good. Baby is measuring right on track.” JD looked at him and pursed his lips. “Hold on a minute. I’ll be right back.” The man got up and quickly walked out of the room, returning with a folder before Jensen had really acknowledged his absence.
“Here,” JD handed him a small, slick piece of paper.
Jensen stared at the grainy black and white picture, brows creased in confusion. He tilted his head to the side, expression clearing as understanding dawned. “Is this…?” He looked up at the doctor.
“That’s your baby,” JD confirmed.
“Can - can I have this?” Jensen’s eyes were drawn back to the picture, finger tracing the image. He could just make out a head and tiny little arms.
“Keep it,” JD smiled. “That little bundle of yours probably helped save Jared’s life.”
Jensen forced his gaze away from the photo. “How so?”
“During pregnancy, the body’s blood supply increases anywhere from forty to fifty percent to accommodate the fetus. That extra blood volume allowed Jared’s body to compensate longer despite the significant blood loss,” JD explained. “If he hadn’t been pregnant, he probably would have succumbed to his injuries.”
Jensen smiled down at his little hero. A new fear crept up his spine. “Did the blood loss hurt the baby?” Another following quick on the first’s heels. “What about the coma?”
“No,” JD assured him, “Jared didn’t lose enough to affect the baby and the coma might actually be beneficial. In the coma, Jared is not putting any additional demands on his body. It’s being allowed to heal. I should warn you that if Jared needs any more surgeries, there might be a risk to the baby.” JD held up his hand when Jensen looked like he was about to say something. “That’s if he needs more surgeries. You’re still listed in Jared’s medical files as the one to make decisions so you’ll be advised of the risks to both Jared and the baby should that occur so you can give informed consent.”
Jensen nodded his head, thankful that Timothy had never thought to check on that small detail. The thought of that bastard having any kind of control over Jared’s health, let alone his child’s, made his stomach churn. He stared down at the picture again.
“I take it this is a good thing then?” JD asked, pointing at the picture.
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, “it’s a good thing, and once Jared is better, it’ll be a great thing.”
*****
Jensen stood in the doorway of Jared’s ICU room transfixed by the impossibly small looking form on the bed. Wires and tubes ran over Jared’s skin and under his hospital gown, connecting him to the myriad of machines surrounding the head of his bed. Clicks, whirs and whooshes filled the air in a song of vitality, of life. Jensen stumbled forward, eyes taking in the purpling bruises and angry cuts on Jared’s face and the exposed portions of his skin, the fiberglass casts. He leaned over the rail and pressed a kiss to the battered man’s temple, careful of the tube that was forcing air into Jared’s lungs.
He wrapped his fingers around Jared’s protruding from the cast on his left hand, his other hand resting gently on Jared’s still flat abdomen. His baby was in there. It was still sinking in.
He’d staggered back to the waiting room, the gathered crowd mistaking his stunned expression as indicating the worse. He’d been pulled from his whirling thoughts of we’re having a baby by their heartbroken gasps. He’d quickly relayed the information that JD had given him about Jared’s injuries to belay their fears.
He smiled at his Momma’s perceptive, “There’s something you’re not telling us, isn’t there?”
He held out the picture, her worried expression transforming to one of pure joy. “Jared’s pregnant?”
He could only nod, his own smile growing. “Ten weeks,” he finally managed.
“Holy shit. That’s awesome!” Chad crowed, thumping him on the back.
“Son, I’m so proud of you,” Alex gushed, wrapping Jensen in a hug.
Austin was quiet and Jensen could hear him thinking. “The baby’s okay, right? I mean, even after,” he waved his hand around.
“Yeah, the baby’s good. There might be some risk if Jared has to have more surgeries, but, as of right now, Daddy and baby are fine.” He took in his brother’s uncharacteristically reserved demeanor and wondered if being here was bringing back memories of when his wife, Tracy, was sick, but Austin’s face cleared as he pulled Jensen into a hug of his own.
“That’s great, bro. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
Dakota and Sandy’s squeals when they saw the sonogram woke the twins and they blinked blearily at the happy group giving Jensen congratulations.
“Papa?” Teddy yawned, small hands rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Is Daddy okay?”
“Sounds like it, buddy,” Jensen came over and scooped the boy from Chris’ arms. “He’s got some boo-boos that will take a while to heal and he’ll have to stay here a while, so we have to be patient.” Jensen wasn’t ready to tell the boys about the baby. He wanted Jared to be with him, wanted that honor to be theirs.
“When can we see him?” Benji muttered grumpily, the slow waker of the two.
“Well,” Jensen sat next to Steve who still held Benji and situated Teddy in his lap. “Daddy is sleeping now and probably will for a while. They’ve got him in a special room that is real quiet so he can rest up. As soon as he’s done sleeping, I’ll bring you up there to see him, but it might be a few days.”
Tears fell down rounded cheeks as the boys cried for their Daddy, the pain of further separation after their earlier fear that they’d lost him forcing salt water to run freely. Jensen soothed them, drying their faces and eventually they’d drifted off back to sleep. Once news had come down that Jared had been moved to his room, Karen and Alex took the twins back to Jensen’s house.
“You gotta wake up, Jay,” Jensen murmured, brushing a lock of hair back out of Jared’s face. “There are two little boys that are waiting to see you.” He smiled slightly, “Not to mention this big boy that needs you, too.” His eyes watered, “I’m so sorry, Jared. I - I let you down. I should’ve…” He squeezed Jared’s fingers when words failed him and frowned at the hard, sharp press in his hand. He opened his fingers to see that hated ring still on Jared’s finger, that gaudy hunk of metal and stone that Timothy had put there staking his claim.
Jensen’s jaw clenched and he gently rotated the platinum circle on Jared’s slightly swollen finger until he was able to slip it off. He held the extravagant piece of jewelry in his hand then closed his fingers around it and shoved it in his pocket. Anger and vengeance and hatred were going to have to wait, Jensen’s priority was getting Jared and their baby well, but after that he’d make time. He pulled the chair beside Jared’s bed closer and sat down, leaning forward to put his hand back on Jared’s abdomen. The ring pinched his thigh through the cloth of his jeans, but he didn’t make any move to adjust it. It was his reminder of the things he still had to do and his promise that he would do them.