hot n cold

Oct 26, 2008 17:43

have you ever felt like you run hot and cold?

recently i've begun to realise how inconsistent i am. for a few months, i'll be the most avid communicator, txting friends, calling people out of the blue and staying on msn until 3am, but those times never last. i lose the will to talk and before long, i realise that the people i was once best friends with no longer want a bar of me.

if only i could overcome my fear of communication in the down periods. i not only lose my ability to have fun - i also lose the ability to explain why i'm not the same person i was last week. this makes people lose faith in me. this can't be allowed to go on.

maybe i'm not well. maybe everyone hates me. i don't really care what it is, i just want it ended.

loneliness never sat well on me, but i have a feeling that this current bout of apparent abandonment is just the calm eye of the storm..

let it fucking rain.

rants, me

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