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I didn't hit my writing deadline last night (my Sip was due), so I got up at 7 this morning to edit, polish, and send it early. It's now sent, will hopefully be picked up (I'll be SHOCKED if it isn't -- they said they needed people to write July 4 short stories, I emailed and asked if they still needed writers, and they said, "YES PLEASE WRITE ONE
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In the rose-scenario, you're not ogling people, you're enjoying objects. If those roses were a bunch of handsome guys, staring longingly at them as you walked by would be creepy. Likewise, writing a thank you note to the gardener is different than staring at the gardener. Thanking the gardener for putting in the effort to grow a lovely garden and letting the gardener know you appreciate those objects is different than thanking someone for being pretty and letting them know you appreciate them as an object.
In the second scenario, if someone pays me a compliment then that's nice. I appreciate that. When the gay gentleman said, "You're attractive," I was flattered. That is a compliment that's pretty clearly, "you look good, you should be proud of yourself." It wasn't until the second part that I was upset. I'm willing to bet, to use your example, that your friend didn't thank you for looking good, which would imply you'd put together that outfit for him, but rather congratulated you on putting together a good outfit (which requires no thanks on his part). See the difference?
J
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