Attention all Criminal Masterminds - Never Return to the Scene of the Crime
Had the most bizarre night at work. In retail, one comes to expect this - someone's always going to try and rip you off. Sometimes with pricing errors or bitching about not having the sale product or people actually ripping you off and blatantly ripping product off the shelves. I've found empty boxes and wrappers for nearly everything - condoms, cough medicine, cds, dvds and tvds, toys, seeds, clothes, dog toys, bags of half-eaten bulk food, deer urine - everything.
Tonight's ripoff was not anything out of the ordinary - booze was the desired possession, and was desired by baby. Okay, so he was fifteen - that still makes him a baby trying to steal Yager. For the love of Pete, he's only a year older than Seaira! He's a friggen' baby. I digress. So apparently LP (loss prevention - which is just a fancy name for Plain Clothes Rent-a-Cops) was tracking said baby who was giving up all of these tells about being in the middle of trying to successfully steal something he really shouldn't have for at least another six years, when he started running - or walking really - towards the door. One of our younger and newer (read still kinda gives a shit) comes tearing down the back T aisle where I am talking to Joe, one of the guys I work with. Next thing I know, he's slowing down and asking the new guy Dwight something, and they both start running to the grocery side of the store. Me and Joe look at each other like - "okay, bizarre" - because LP barely nods at any of us ever let alone talk to us. But we shrug it off, and Joe went to the backroom to look for something for a guest. Not a minute later I hear this big crash. Don't think anything of it because hey, stuff falls over or gets hit all the time.
Come to find out that sound - it was Baby getting slammed into the Exit door while trying to come In it. And not the doors that lead outside either - no, he's trying to come back in. Shattered the glass, but managed not to drop the bottle. And not only was he trying to put hair on his chest with the Yager he was apparently trying to kill all of his braincells, because during the pat down in the LP office they found a pot blunt. This is the generation that's going to run the world when I'm old and gray? And on top of it - his mother and what I'm assuming was his sister got all indignant that they even had to come to the store. I'm half expecting them to go to some news station or press outlet and complain at how over the top LP was during his apprehension. Crack babies running the world, I tell ya.