Live as if you'll die tomorrow

[jbaby2186]

This past week has sucked... some things have happened that I'm not so proud or happy about but that's how my life goes. Melissa spent the night after we went to 6 Flags and on the 23rd. We talked a lot about how she wanted to go out with John but eventually agreed that it would be better if neither of us went out with him so that things between me

Comments

Re: yea uh huh

[jbaby2186]

Yea i do love David-- that's one of the many reasons why i told you i didn't care anymore if you went out with john. I mean i still have feelings for john, but like i told you before, he hasn't changed. It's just really hard with Dave lately because i can never talk to him and now he doesn't have the internet and i tried to call him and he said to call him later because he was at a party but when i tried to call later he didn't pick up...i just want someone to be there for me. Whatever- i don't understand any of this. I mean i told you you could have john and that's cool if you're over him, but if you're not then don't break up with him just to "please" me. I was just mad because i felt like crap and i still am a little mad but whatever... i just thought that basically the only way you'd be able to see him is if you came over to my house because last time you guys went out you were saying how when we go to john's house you'd try not to do stuff so i didn't feel like the third wheel even though i'd done that to you and i'm sorry that i did that- i was stupid. I guess it also made me mad just because i didn't understand at all why you wanted to go out with him because he's a jerk and i think just about everyone knows how he is and how he treats people. Oh well- it happened and it's not the end of the world. I'm happy for you if you're over him because it's probably for the better for you since there's a big chance that he'd hurt you, but please don't break up with him just because of me. I don't want you to break up with him and think your feelings are gone and then next time you see him realize that you do still like him and wanna give it another chance. Anyway- you said i can have john if i want him... well i do want him but that's too bad- you can't have your cake and eat it too. Since i've had a little time to myself, i've decided that i'm gonna stay with Dave because i honestly do love him and whether or not i still love john and john isn't taken, i guess Dave still hasn't had his "fair chance" yet even though he hasn't been making any effort at all to even talk to me. I don't know what else to say though- if things don't work out with Dave then i'm staying single for a while no matter what other people have to say about it. I mean, don't get me wrong, i love john to death and whether i like it or not he was my first love and he'll always have a big part of my heart and even though i'm the happiest person when i'm with him, i'm the saddest person when he hurts me and i'm tired of being hurt. I hope you're not mad at me... i really don't know what i did if you are, but your reply to my post didn't sound that "sisterly" like we usually are. I honestly don't know what to say... i love you like a sister (a twin sister! lol) and i figured you going out with john would do this and i know it's not all your fault and i'm not saying it is, but this sucks and i wanna fix it because it seems like you're mad. Well, i'll talk to you soon and i'm happy for you finding a new guy and if you don't want to tell me who he is then i guess that's your decision but i hope he treats you good. Have a happy 4th of july~ i'll see you at byron fest and talk to you soon, i don't know what to do with this volunteer sticker! Love always whether you know it or not~ Bre