Icha Icha Sensei Part One & Two
Warning: AU, before episode one, some pervyness. HUMOR, ANGST, YAOI -
DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ, DON’T LEAVE A COMMENT ON YOUR WAY OUT.
From IruKashiLJ: A challenge! ^_^ and an awesomely inspiring idea: The ICHA ICHA SENSEI challenge
“I noticed that Kakashi is only interested in his Icha Icha most of the time, he lost against his students because of it after all and i was wondering if there is a fic where Jiraiya write Icha Icha Sensei and after reading it Kakashi takes an interest in teachers-->Iruka. If not would anyone be willing to consider this a challenge i don't care if it's a one shot or a multichaptered one but i would prefer if the rating would be at least R.” quoted
Disclaimer: Naruto Owned by Viz media & Masashi Kishimoto, I do not own nor do I make profit from Naruto.
Title; Icha Icha Sensei
Author: Jazzy
Pairing: Iruka/Kakashi
Rating: M
PART ONE
Kakashi sighed took out his Icha Icha Seducing Sensei, a new story arch in the much loved Icha Icha novels series, it was Jeraiya’s sama’s best work yet!
It was also quite inspiring!
Kakashi scoped out the academy. He stalked the teachers, one by one, until someone quite unexpected caught his fancy.
The brunette was young and full of life as well as mood swings. Naruto clung to his legs often as did many of the other pre-genin academy students. That cute little chunin was so devastatingly clueless and stubborn.
His dreams of late were truly impressive.
Like the one from just the other night. Kakashi recalled he was running late for some meeting or other. Kakashi’s inner fanboy squealed because he knew what was going to happen to him for being late.
“Late late late, maybe luscious, lovely, blushing angry, beautiful blushing”, inner dog let his tongue hang out then howled its adoration, “Maybe Iruka-Sensei will punish meeee! Squee!” No doubt about it, Iruka was going to punish Kakashi good and hard in all kinds of kinky ways, the adorable chunin tortured and tormented and punished the jovial Kakashi. Iruka-sensei menaced him with a paddle and made the “smack smack” noise, his cheery grin somehow turned into a leer. “you’re late Kakashi-sensei.” He purred. “bend over and take your paddling like the bad, bad little boy that you are.”
The dream had been pretty hot. He had almost woken up in the middle of it feeling the very realistic sting and burn from the “crack” of impact from the paddle on his bare bottom. Iruka had tied him up, spread him wide and done the deed with slow deliberate torturous movements that had made Kakashi beg and beg and beg.
Kakashi practically had a nose bleed and almost fainted from the memory of that particular dream. Sometimes his mind could come up with a real doozy, even by his own perverted standards.
It was a known fact Iruka was the number one sought after babysitter in all of Konoha. There was not a single mother or father or granny that did not trust Iruka with their young and also the young sought out Iruka on their own as well.
Iruka was greatly admired and loved by the many youth and grateful parents of Konoha, on top of being an excellent Academy instructor and master sensei at such a young age. Iruka obviously knew the book and rules of the shinobi better than anyone save Kakashi, and Kakashi really admired him for it as well as his stamina and courage to watch over little shinobi kids.
Kakashi noticed that Iruka practiced his skills faithfully and regimentally day and night and in secret. Iruka knew well how to hide and make it near impossible for Kakashi to spy on him while he practiced his family arts. Iruka was a ninja to admire stout of heart and hard working.
He took out his book to read per usual and heard a gasp coming from again the young dark haired chunin’s direction. Iruka choked, his face blanched pale in his horror. He looked ready to explode over their jounin team leader’s choice in reading material.
‘Ah’, thought Kakashi with some satisfaction, ‘the sounds of prudish horror.’
Was their nothing more glorious than that particular sound?
Actually, on second thought, on seeing Iruka’s stormy look and the red blush that decorated his cheeks, neck and ears and crawling over his scarred nose, Kakashi had to re-evaluate his earlier delight. No, there was nothing more lovely than a blushing furious little dolphin.
His eye curved up in that happy pervy tilt Iruka abhorred but was generally used to.
The man made Iruka feel scandalized and scrutinized. He never stopped blushing while in the Jounin’s presence; which was making Iruka a laughing stock in and out of the academy and the missions’ room.
Iruka never knew when Kakashi would tease him next or where he would jauntily pop up next with a lazy, “Yo.”
Iruka would have felt stalked but it was such a ridiculous concept. What on earth would make Kakashi stalk someone like Iruka?
Him and Kakashi? What an appalling thought! They’d kill each other inside of a week!
Still, it was rather disconcerting how often they ran into each other. The man was everywhere Iruka was, even when he was doing private things like practicing his jutsu in hidden places, grading school work, or eating alone in some food stand somewhere in the village.
Iruka glared at him then herded his little group of pre-genin away from the pervert reading his nasty book near the playgrounds.
“Children, ignore the nasty man and keep your eyes focused on the Academy!”
Kakashi winced. Iruka could be so mean!
= = = = = = =
A few days later
Kakashi had finally decided to act on his obsession. He fingered his hair and tried to slick it back but it stood up even straighter and bushier, his clothes were stain free, his boots sparkly, his slouch almost non-existent, even his book was hidden under a new book cover, “ninja tactics” hand drawn in crayon!
He wanted to make a new and improved impression on Iruka-sensei at the missions desk. The line was long but Kakashi was entertained by his Icha Icha Sensei novel. His mission scroll was in peak condition, clean perfectly neat and legible handwriting, the paper was crisp and stainless, there would be nothing in this particular scroll hand in for Iruka to fuss over or get angry about.
“aw how the shinobi never learn” he thought, eye curved in amusement. He admired how Iruka yelled and berated another never-do-well jounin then flash-flamed his sloppy report and pointed the jounin to the back of the line to do it over and to hand it in before the end of shift.
Three desks manned by chunin. Kakashi was fourth in line and waited patiently for his turn with Iruka.
A clearing of the throat and an announced. “Next.”
Kakshi ignored it.
Again that same voice politely calling out. “next.”
Again kakashi ignored it, it wasn’t Iruka’s voice, he wanted Iruka, he wanted to hand his scroll in to Iruka. He wanted Iruka to admire it and tell him he had done a great job and that Kakashi had impressed Iruka and that when Kakashi asked Iruka out on a dinner date Iruka would agree to it because he was impressed with Kakashi’s efforts at cleaning up his act.
Again that annoying chunin cleared their throat and this time addressed him. “Kakashi Hatake-Sama, I am available to accept your scroll, please.”
Kakashi blinked frowned, then stepped behind the person behind him in line. He did that two more times garnering odd looks from chunin and jounin of various levels.
No one could figure out Kakashi’s game until one or two them speculated slyly, shifting their eyes from Iruka to Kakashi and back again. Did Kakashi have a prank up his sleeve to play on Iruka-sensei or was this something else entirely?
Iruka was loud as he yet again yelled at another unfortunate loser of a shinobi. Kakashi grinned feeling his heartstring float on the sound of Iruka’s loud outraged voice.
No sooner then Kakshi stepped up to hand in his report a chunin stepped in and whispered something urgently into Iruka’s ear causing Iruka to pause frown then nod his head.
Iruka looked to the line of jounin, to Kakashi in particular who had his scroll out and waiting for Iruka to take from him. “My apologies, the Hokage has need of me and my shift has ended. Masaki-kun would be more then willing to assist you with your report, Hatake-san.”
Kakshi froze at Iruka’s polite smile, feeling his heart stop, feeling his breath crushed from his lungs as a huge fist squeezed painfully against his ribcage and tore out his heart. NOOOOOOOO!
He’d lost his cool and was in a panic. “But, but” gasped Kakashi, “You have to take my scroll.”
“Again my apologies, Hatake-san, but Masaki is more than capable of assisting you at this juncture, good day.” Iruka turned on his heel and walked swiftly from the room to the Hokage’s office.
Kakashi deflated, he slouched then promptly glared at Masaki and the rest of the mission desk chunins. “I’m not giving this report to anyone but Iruka! And that’s final.” He huffed and then flashed a quick sequence of hand signs and poofed out of the mission room, leaving an excess of smoke and leaves behind him in his wake and a few choking ninja too.
“Wonder what’s up with my eternal rival.” Murmured Maito Guy, the Green beast of Konoha, suspiciously.
= == = = = = = =
PART TWO
Shinobi began to speculate. Hatake Kakashi was not acting like himself. Concerned they approached the Hokage, The Sandaime Sarutobi Sama. The old man scratched at his beard and mulled over the voiced worries of his shinobi. He lit his always present pipe and continued to put on his thinking cap.
He looked at the young sensei, his favorite in this generation. Iruka was his most trusted and devoted desk ninja and secretary. He quickly hid a smile from the suspicious glare shot his way from the hot tempered youth. ‘Well, this is a surprise.’
“Hokage-sama, you must think of your health. Tobacco will kill you.”
“ma maa, Iruka-kun you worry far too much. I live the life of a Hokage and Shinobi, trust me, a kunai is more apt to kill me then this little bit of weed.” Sarutobi-sama replied serenely, almost teasing.
The boy scowled, then ventured a pleading look to Asuma Sarutobi, the Hokage’s son, who was also in the midst of lighting a cigarette, Iruka glared, but finding no help from anyone for the time being Iruka sighed defeated for the moment.
“What about Hatake-san, do you think he might be an infiltrator?" asked the concerned Iruka, then he frowned as a dark thought flushed across his face. "An he has yet to turn in that blasted report!”
Sarutobi pouted. “Always business Iruka, can’t you let an old man sit quietly for a moment?”
The boy blushed, stuttered, and dove back into his paper work. Sautobi smirked, victory, for the moment, was his.
“By the way, how are things at the Academy?”
Iruka began sorting the files a little faster refusing for the moment to speak. “It’s a challenge.” He finally replied reluctantly.
“Are you enjoying it?”
“Yes, Hokage-sama, I believe that I am. But for the pervert that keeps reading his books near the school yard.” He frowned darkly, chakra manifesting for a moment in a rare show of black mood.
“ah, I see.”
Kakashi, how transparent of you. Mused the Hokage. Poor Iruka so oblivious to your own charms. You must be driving poor hound out of his already insane mind. The Hokage’s Inner child giggled and wiggled its little fingers together in glee. Outwardly though he kept his poker face on.
“He thinks he can hide his books under those fake crayon drawings on a paper bag book cover, but it’s so transparent!" Iruka scoffed. "And people think he’s a genius!”
Iruka glowered darkly at the unlucky Anbu and Hokage in the room
“And he thinks he’s sooo superior too!” Iruka complained trifling with his papers.
“Now now, Iruka, whatever happened to that compassionate heart of yours?” asked Hokage trying to keep things on the cool.
“ooooh! He’s just so irritating!” growled Iruka, files combusted and turned to ash in another show of ill temper and very little chakra control.
“Control, Iruka, your control.” chastised the Hokage.
Iruka looked shocked and horrified by his loss of control. He was utterly ashamed and though he didn’t need to do so, Iruka groveled. “I am so sorry. Please forgive me, Hokage-sama. This will never happen again, I swear it.”
The Hokage waved his hand in that usual tolerant, all’s forgiven kind of way of his. “You’re just lucky that I like you Iruka.” Smiled the Hokage, teasingly.
Iruka turned crimson, so ashamed. “I am so sorry, Hokage Sama.”
“No need, no need, best get those copies of those files replaced, eh?” smiled the Hokage kindly. “oh and how is little Naruto-chan?”
Iruka blushed self consciously. As the kyuubi’s teacher Iruka had to make a weekly report to the Hokage on the boy’s progress and social interactions. So far Iruka had a dismal report. It was depressing. The boy was such a sweetheart but everyone ignored him or picked on him. Iruka bit down on his sense of injustice and the tears he wished he could shed for Naruto’s complete isolation and loneliness. Naruto was only a boy. But Iruka was new to the job and profession he didn’t know what to do to help Naruto. His lack of experience was beginning to hinder him.
He felt particularly useless when it came to Naruto. As much as the good part of him wanted to love and protect Naruto there was still a small petty part of his heart that had not forgiven the beast inside the container, which made it even more difficult for Iruka to help Naruto. He was a conflicted young man and unless he could break through the conflict he wasn’t going to be of any help to any of his students but most importantly to Naruto who had such great need for a role model and caregiver.
“Don’t forget, Iruka-kun, to write that report. All right?”
“Yes, Hokage-Sama.”
"And the next time you see Hatake-san reading near the playground, feel free to tell him to give me a call?" asked the Hokage. "and I will take care of this little issue once and for all, for all who are concerned."
“Yes, Hokage-Sama, uh but uh what about Hatake-san, is he or isn't he an infiltrator?” asked Iruka remembering his question from earlier.
Sandaimer blew a smoke ring and sighed. Darn, I thought he'd let that go! "Er, well, to be honest with you Iruka-kun, I think Hatake is just trying to make a good impression on someone special." There! That should take care of it. Hehehe! said the mischievious inner child.
Iruka frowned puzzled. He didn't get it. "But Hatake-san could have anyone he wanted. All he needs do is snap his figners and well..." Blush, blush. "You know. Anyone. Its said, well I know its goddip but, Hatake-san is so well admired by everyone that people throw themselves at him shamelessly all the time. Who could possibly resist Hatake-san to the pouint that he would go to such efforts to win them over?"
So oblivious! How did he make it to chunin? Oh, I remember don't tick Iruka off, rule number one, rule number two, fear the Iruka, his pranks are terribly destructive and inventive, and three, Iruka is a well trained and excellent shinobi, a model of strength loyalty chakra control and mastery of the basics of the shinobi ways and arts.
The Hokage refused to take the clueless bait. Instead he bit down on his laghter and shooed Iruka out the door on another errand of desk ninja needs.
After Iruka was gone the Hokage let down his poker face and let out his laughter until he fell from his chair tears streaming down. Asuma and the Anbu both joined in their Hokage's laughter.
Oh Hatake you're trying too hard.
T.B.C in Part Three & Four