And so when I was finally ready to, I couldn't...
So, this whole "issue" - wow, that sounds so unflattering - of this person I'm interested in... I really want to get it out there and in the open, at least somewhat. It's killing me trying to keep it all in - especially with recent developments in various aspects of different people's personal lives. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to implode. I've finally decided to go ahead and talk to one person about it - I figure if I do this part right, choose the right person, I might be able to do some form of damage control - prior to, during, and afterwards. Unfortunately, and I don't want for this to sound mean or creul - especially to the person it's in reference to - although it very well likely will, the person I have decided to 'confide' in...has been unavailable for private discussion over the course of these last few days. I don't know which is worse, getting myself psyched up to talk to someone about it and not getting to, or not talking to anyone at all. I'm considering just giving up the idea of talking to anyone about it...or even doing anything further about it...but where does that leave me? The same doldrums I've been in for over a year now.
Most of you who know me, know that I don't normally pay attention to song lyrics - but rather to the musical groove of the tune. Tonight, on my drive home, I actually paid attention (once again - I mean, it IS an older ditty, and I have looked up the lyrics before) to the lyrics of this one song in particular. While Barber's "Adagio for Strings" is what I'm considering to be the real "theme song" for this portion of my life - Macy Gray's "I Try" isn't a bad one either to kind of sum up where things are.
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we're not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Just in case any of you didn't know what song I was talking about. Those are the lyrics for "I Try", and here is a link to a midi file of "Adagio for Strings"
Most of you who know me, know that I don't normally pay attention to song lyrics - but rather to the musical groove of the tune. Tonight, on my drive home, I actually paid attention (once again - I mean, it IS an older ditty, and I have looked up the lyrics before) to the lyrics of this one song in particular. While Barber's "Adagio for Strings" is what I'm considering to be the real "theme song" for this portion of my life - Macy Gray's "I Try" isn't a bad one either to kind of sum up where things are.
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we're not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Just in case any of you didn't know what song I was talking about. Those are the lyrics for "I Try", and here is a link to a midi file of "Adagio for Strings"