Sorry about the depressing entry

[jazzforjesus]

I feel like I'm in a daze. I couldn't even remember my username when I got on. I feel like someone has died. I cannot believe I had to say goodbye to Brittany today. That was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I don't want to have to say bye to Meg or Steph or Alicia. That's too hard. My head feels like it's swimming...I can't think straight. (Meg, I need you to help me empty my bottles tonight!!) Satan keeps telling me that there's an easy way to deal with this pain, and I want to give in so bad. I haven't yet today but I realllly want to. ugh. I want to just dissapear and not be here. I feel so messed up!!! WHAT IS MY FREAKIN' PROBLEM!?!?!?!?! RRRGGGG!!!! I know God's gonna pull me out of this and that he's controling everything, so why am i stressing? I don't have to. I have to keep reminding myself that he never gives us more than we can handle. But aside from moving, there is just so much going on that I feel like I'm drowning. AAHHHH! I feel like an emotional wreck. I look like I'm stoned or drunk or something. Just completely numb......
okay, I'm going to go before I can write any more pathetic selfish crap on here. and I'm really sorry if you're reading this but I needed to vent!