001

[jazz_trance]

Er, hello? Is there someone there? …Listen, Mr. Kidnapper, if you’re hearing this, whatever you’re trying to do, it’s not gonna work. When Howard Moon goes missing, things happen. People are up in arms. And it’s not just the mobs you’ll have to deal with, oh no. There’s me. Yeah, you just show your face, and I’ll come at you like a feral cat, like

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[numanstan]

... Howard?

[jazz_trance]

Vince? ...Don't tell me this was some prank of yours.

[numanstan]

No, it's nothin' like that... It's sorta hard to explain, but we've basically been kidnapped, along with a whole bunch of other people, and put in this well creepy '50s American town that's always tryin' to kill us.

[He pauses.]... You're really here... Howard, what's your address?

[jazz_trance]

Ha! I knew it was a kidnapping.

[He didn't really get the rest of that, but.]

Why, are you gonna send a cab? --Fine, I'll go check.

[A lengthy pause as he goes outside, and returns.]

The house number's 338, and the street's Brady Lane. So, er, could you explain exactly how I ended up here again?

[numanstan]

[TOTALLY DOESN'T WAIT FOR HOWARD TO FINISH] I'll be right there! Wait outside, alright? [He also doesn't wait for an answer as he slams the phone down and starts full-out sprinting towards Brady Lane.]

[jazz_trance]

Hey, wait--

[OH FINE. He stubbornly stays inside for a few minutes because Vince isn't the boss of him ... but his will eventually breaks and he heads out onto the porch. What a weird neighborhood.]

[numanstan]

[Hey, you know that whole "don't touch me, don't touch me, don't ever fucking touch me" thing?

Yeah Vince is just completely ignoring that now and is going to tacklehug Howard the moment he sees him.] 'bout time y'showed up, y'berk!

[jazz_trance]

[AUGH. Howard just stumbles back a bit in surprise, then immediately starts trying to pry him off.]

Yeah, um-- [Shooove.] -- nice to see you too-- Hey, remember what I told you about touching?

[God, it's only been like a few hours, Vince.]

[numanstan]

[Vince backs off, grinning like mad.] Yeah, I know, I know... Just been a while. [Howard may notice that Vince is wearing his Zooniverse uniform. And sensible shoes. The world is coming to an end.] Welcome to Mayfield!

[jazz_trance]

[He notes the odd ensemble, but doesn't say anything about it just yet. Okay, the Zooniverse uniform he could almost understand. But the sensible shoes? He has to stare at those for a moment.]

Mayfield? [Pauses, finally tearing his eyes away from Vince's feet.] --I thought you wanted to go to Euro Disney for vacation this year.

[numanstan]

This ain't a vacation! It's more of a... endless nightmare y'never wake up from! [still smiling] Glad you're here, though! S'not fair that I was sufferin' alone while you spent the last four months takin' your time with the rescue mission-- how's the goin', by the way? Naboo sort this mess out yet?

[jazz_trance]

Rescue mission? Four months? Come on, stop jokin'. I just saw you yesterday.

[numanstan]

... Howard, what's the last thing you remember happenin' back home? The last important thing?

[jazz_trance]

Uh... Bouncin' around in the bouncy castle?

[Lalala, not gonna mention that other last important thing.]

[numanstan]

[Lalala, not gonna mention that either.] Alright, good. 'least we're from the same time, then. [He looks up at Howard's house.] Y'meet your "family" yet?

[jazz_trance]

I met this little girl. Kinda creepy. Thought I was her dad. She had this weird family picture of me and everything.