Fun with PIP (the communication question)
I thought you Aspies (as well as anyone who hangs around Aspies ) might find my draught answer to question 9 amusing. Or even enlightening.
Yeah, yeah, i'll have to cut this down a bit , I suppose. But then, it demonstrates what it says so very well!
Here goes:
I have Asperger's Syndrome, which impairs my ability communicate in numerous subtle, but highly destructive ways. The list below is not exhaustive (that would be impossible) but very typical and salient. I have become much more practiced at communicating over the years (I am 55) but I fear that , in many respects, that only masks my problems further.
When I am asked a personal question, my mind immediately goes blank and I am almost never able to recall the information requested and frame an appropriate reply. I need time to think it over , alone. When pressed, I have sometimes said the first thing that came into my head; and have not realised until much later that this answer was far from correct .
People tend to believe that first thing you say, when caught off your guard, must be the truth; whereas for me it is entirely the other way round. Therefore, I have seldom been able to correct any misinformation that I've inadvertently provided, in spite of strenuous attempts to do so.
I am apt to take things literally. This is just an automatic response, and given a few seconds I will usually realise that the remark was not intended literally. But in normal conversations, or interviews that time to think is not available, and I therefore make inappropriate responses.
I find social conventions perplexing, especially those that require you to say one thing whilst actually meaning something else. I cannot play such games, and tend to only make friends with straight-talking people who do not “stand on ceremony” . When required to interact with the other sort, I do badly, and can become very stressed.
I cannot moderate my voice. It is either too loud or too quiet. Thus people find me grating.
I am “honest to a fault” and strive to give accurate answers. This is a problem in that it slows down my response time even more. It can also make me very long-winded, as I feel impelled to include too many details and qualifications.
People sometimes interpret my slow response times as evidence that I am making up a lie. Since I became aware of this, I am apt to start panicking inwardly when I can't find an immediate response. This compounds the problem
I do not do “hidden agendas” and insinuations. But, paradoxically, this very often leads to people accusing me of such, and refusing to be gainsaid. I can only think that would be because I fail to eradicate possible implications from my language, as I believe my meaning to to very plain and unambiguous. So again, I find it very difficult and distressing to interact with people with who think in such terms. It leads to hostility, and an irretrievable breakdown of communication.
I find it very hard to mentally “switch track” from one subject to another. This can also make me long-winded. It can also make me seem very self-centred or conversely very self-effacing , depending on whether I am currently the subject of my thoughts or not. I can therefore miss very obvious cues, or conversely be hypersensitive to cues, both extremes creating various social problems.
I am extremely anxious in interview situations, eg with doctors, lawyers and Social Security, as miscommunication might have serious consequences . This has actually proved to be the case on numerous occasions eg I had benefits sanctioned, have been wrongly assessed as “fit for work” ; and have had serious health issues trivialised or misdiagnosed, leading to long delays in obtaining appropriate diagnoses.
As I am very articulate, on the face of it, i.e. my vocabulary is good, the interviewer is never cognisant of my difficulties, which makes matters worse. My anxiety also makes matters worse, as it compounds the problem of my mind going blank.
I have at times ceased answering my phone on account of this anxiety.
As a consequence of all this, I communicate much better in writing than I ever do verbally, and will always prefer the written word if the subject matter is important.
If I must have a face-to-face interview, it helps to be accompanied by somebody who knows me. However, that is not fail-safe, as they cannot read my mind, they cannot know all my history, and will often let ill-conceived utterances pass.
Yeah, yeah, i'll have to cut this down a bit , I suppose. But then, it demonstrates what it says so very well!
Here goes:
I have Asperger's Syndrome, which impairs my ability communicate in numerous subtle, but highly destructive ways. The list below is not exhaustive (that would be impossible) but very typical and salient. I have become much more practiced at communicating over the years (I am 55) but I fear that , in many respects, that only masks my problems further.
When I am asked a personal question, my mind immediately goes blank and I am almost never able to recall the information requested and frame an appropriate reply. I need time to think it over , alone. When pressed, I have sometimes said the first thing that came into my head; and have not realised until much later that this answer was far from correct .
People tend to believe that first thing you say, when caught off your guard, must be the truth; whereas for me it is entirely the other way round. Therefore, I have seldom been able to correct any misinformation that I've inadvertently provided, in spite of strenuous attempts to do so.
I am apt to take things literally. This is just an automatic response, and given a few seconds I will usually realise that the remark was not intended literally. But in normal conversations, or interviews that time to think is not available, and I therefore make inappropriate responses.
I find social conventions perplexing, especially those that require you to say one thing whilst actually meaning something else. I cannot play such games, and tend to only make friends with straight-talking people who do not “stand on ceremony” . When required to interact with the other sort, I do badly, and can become very stressed.
I cannot moderate my voice. It is either too loud or too quiet. Thus people find me grating.
I am “honest to a fault” and strive to give accurate answers. This is a problem in that it slows down my response time even more. It can also make me very long-winded, as I feel impelled to include too many details and qualifications.
People sometimes interpret my slow response times as evidence that I am making up a lie. Since I became aware of this, I am apt to start panicking inwardly when I can't find an immediate response. This compounds the problem
I do not do “hidden agendas” and insinuations. But, paradoxically, this very often leads to people accusing me of such, and refusing to be gainsaid. I can only think that would be because I fail to eradicate possible implications from my language, as I believe my meaning to to very plain and unambiguous. So again, I find it very difficult and distressing to interact with people with who think in such terms. It leads to hostility, and an irretrievable breakdown of communication.
I find it very hard to mentally “switch track” from one subject to another. This can also make me long-winded. It can also make me seem very self-centred or conversely very self-effacing , depending on whether I am currently the subject of my thoughts or not. I can therefore miss very obvious cues, or conversely be hypersensitive to cues, both extremes creating various social problems.
I am extremely anxious in interview situations, eg with doctors, lawyers and Social Security, as miscommunication might have serious consequences . This has actually proved to be the case on numerous occasions eg I had benefits sanctioned, have been wrongly assessed as “fit for work” ; and have had serious health issues trivialised or misdiagnosed, leading to long delays in obtaining appropriate diagnoses.
As I am very articulate, on the face of it, i.e. my vocabulary is good, the interviewer is never cognisant of my difficulties, which makes matters worse. My anxiety also makes matters worse, as it compounds the problem of my mind going blank.
I have at times ceased answering my phone on account of this anxiety.
As a consequence of all this, I communicate much better in writing than I ever do verbally, and will always prefer the written word if the subject matter is important.
If I must have a face-to-face interview, it helps to be accompanied by somebody who knows me. However, that is not fail-safe, as they cannot read my mind, they cannot know all my history, and will often let ill-conceived utterances pass.