(no subject)
i am so fucking tired i can hardly stay awake today. So last night was fun i hung out with Stephanie and Katie. i havent hung out with them in like forever. It was kinda nice going out just me and 2 old friends. We did some pretty stupid shit but it was funny as hell. anyways i am supposed to go out with Brad tonight. That should be exciting i havent been on a date since me and jason first started dating. I am nurvous. But i am also really excited this kid is so hott and sweet. but i want to take things slow because i dont want to fall for someone too quickly. i am so scared of getting hurt again so putting myself back out there and taking that chance scares the shit out of me. its kinda depressing here i am so excited to finally meet someone nice but i am so scared to just go out on a date with him. For the first time ever i dont know how to act around a guy. Normally i would be fine shit its just a guy but this is different. I dono how to describe it. After being in a realationship for so long i thought i knew it all it was a piece of cake to be around a new guy. shit 99.9 % of my friends are guys but it is different.i have never ever been nervouse around a guy. i have always known what to do. but for the first time i dont. i am just gonna take things slow and see what happens. im so scared of getting hurt so it is definatly going to be hard to have those feelings again. i am actually terrified of having those feelings again. I think i have been doing pretty good since me and Jason broke up i fell down but i got back up but i dont ever want to feel like that again. is it wrong that i am scared? is it wrong that i am dating already? there is so much running through my head it isnt even funny. Oh well fuck it we will just see what happens. wish me luck!!!