On The Edge Looking Over
First off to those who left messages on my last post:
Julie xuntamedx: Yes, the icon was teh amusing. I do feel shitty right now, very shitty. Thanks for thinking of me. :)
Sarah fallen_angel815: *hugs* I just feel like shit right now, fully and totally, no matter what I do. There isn't anything you can do, but thanks for asking. It means a lot.
Ashley lostintheashes: I liked being over with Chris. It was fun....minus almost dying on the way there. Sometimes though I feel like sitting alone is the only way to just...be. Maybe not a good thing, but its there.
Okay, now, I want to say for anyone who's worried about me, I am so sorry. I wish I could say something and make you not worry but right now I can't. Chris said I should have the decency to let you all know what's going on. Well, truth me told, that may be right, but as of now, I don't even know what's going on. I feel torn in so many places right now and I know no matter what I do I will make someone unhappy/mad, and I can't handle that pressure right now. It may seem selfish (statement via Chris) but right now I need to focus on my mental health and...oh, well, fuck, I don't even know what's going to make me feel better. All I know is right now I don't feel emotionally safe at Sage, and no matter what Chris says to try to get me to just say, "Fuck it, I'm going," that is the most prominent thought in my head. I feel like that place is going to kill me, even though I know that's completely irrational.
Nothing is logical or clear right now. Everything is a giant blur. I want to scream and run away but I can't. I can't do much of anything right now but sit and wait for this shit to be over.
If it ever will.
Julie xuntamedx: Yes, the icon was teh amusing. I do feel shitty right now, very shitty. Thanks for thinking of me. :)
Sarah fallen_angel815: *hugs* I just feel like shit right now, fully and totally, no matter what I do. There isn't anything you can do, but thanks for asking. It means a lot.
Ashley lostintheashes: I liked being over with Chris. It was fun....minus almost dying on the way there. Sometimes though I feel like sitting alone is the only way to just...be. Maybe not a good thing, but its there.
Okay, now, I want to say for anyone who's worried about me, I am so sorry. I wish I could say something and make you not worry but right now I can't. Chris said I should have the decency to let you all know what's going on. Well, truth me told, that may be right, but as of now, I don't even know what's going on. I feel torn in so many places right now and I know no matter what I do I will make someone unhappy/mad, and I can't handle that pressure right now. It may seem selfish (statement via Chris) but right now I need to focus on my mental health and...oh, well, fuck, I don't even know what's going to make me feel better. All I know is right now I don't feel emotionally safe at Sage, and no matter what Chris says to try to get me to just say, "Fuck it, I'm going," that is the most prominent thought in my head. I feel like that place is going to kill me, even though I know that's completely irrational.
Nothing is logical or clear right now. Everything is a giant blur. I want to scream and run away but I can't. I can't do much of anything right now but sit and wait for this shit to be over.
If it ever will.