Jayli vs the toaster...
OK, I am going to attempt this resurgence in to the world of LJ. I used to post the most entertaining stories. Maybe not to you, but fuck - it's my journal and I kept myself entertained in looking back over some of my entries. Work has been ridiculously stressful as of late so the more entertaining moments of my life have begun to stand out just a touch.
Such as... me versus the toaster.
Two weeks ago, as I was in the cafeteria at work, I began my (as of late) morning routine.
Grab my Equal, stirrer, two napkins and a knife.
Go and grab an english muffin, slice it and put it in to the toaster.
GO grab three butter packets and go to the conveyor belt toaster oven.
** yes we have both... one that is an actual toaster that works far better with english muffins and bread. The other is one of the conveyor belt toasters, the ones that you would see/use at a Dunkin Donuts and what not**
Now, the butter packets are generally kept on ice. Who the fuck wants cold, hard, toss it at a person's head and leave a mark type of butter?
Oh right, let me also state, our butter packets are not the ones encased in the aluminum foil; they are the ones in the plastic with foil lid.
So every morning, after I've popped my english muffins in to the toaster, I grab 3 butter packets and put them on top of the conveyor belt toaster and make my cup of coffee. The conveyor belt toaster is just the right temp to soften the butter enough by the time I am done putting my coffee together.
It was a rough morning, I was getting ready to train a class, my class was driving me bat shit, and the cashier called out to me as I am placing my butter packets on top of the conveyor belt toaster.
Packet 1 down.
Packet 2 down.
Packet 3 - BLOOP
FUCK
Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!? Are.you.kidding.me?!?!?!?!?!?
The way they have the damn thing set up, you can't grab the packet as there is a little metal lever that is some 1500 degrees of burn your skin off.
I start sputtering, and grab my knife and try to stab at the butter packet all while not burning my hand.
And there rolls the butter packet along the conveyor belt.
"MARY!!! MARY!!!!!!!!!! (the cashier) I dropped the butter packet in the toaster - should I shut it off?!?!?!?"
I think she would have bitch slapped me had I been closer.
Now I was saying this, all the while trying to figure out HOW to shut the mother loving thing off...
Finally, I get it shut off. It's a good three cranks in and smoke is streaming from the toaster.
Oops.
Mary comes over and only has plastic tongs in her reach. The plastic is quickly melting and the butter is starting to drip through.
I'm apologizing profusely and trying desperately not to laugh.
Mary calls to the guy who works the grill and asks him to bring metal tongs to grab the packet.
He comes out with more plastics ones.... way to listen bucko!
He sees what's going on, shakes his head and goes in to the backroom to grab a soaked rag.
He comes back out, starts up the conveyor belt so that when it rolls around, he can stop it and wipe all the melted plastic, foil and butter on the coils.
I go and pay, still apologizing but severely smirking and choking on a giggle.
Mary: "Well that's the first time that I've ever seen that."
Me: "*giggle* I'm sorry, it's not funny...I'm sorry... and GOOD - I'm kind of competitive."
At least Mary laughed... and fuck, I have a story!
Such as... me versus the toaster.
Two weeks ago, as I was in the cafeteria at work, I began my (as of late) morning routine.
Grab my Equal, stirrer, two napkins and a knife.
Go and grab an english muffin, slice it and put it in to the toaster.
GO grab three butter packets and go to the conveyor belt toaster oven.
** yes we have both... one that is an actual toaster that works far better with english muffins and bread. The other is one of the conveyor belt toasters, the ones that you would see/use at a Dunkin Donuts and what not**
Now, the butter packets are generally kept on ice. Who the fuck wants cold, hard, toss it at a person's head and leave a mark type of butter?
Oh right, let me also state, our butter packets are not the ones encased in the aluminum foil; they are the ones in the plastic with foil lid.
So every morning, after I've popped my english muffins in to the toaster, I grab 3 butter packets and put them on top of the conveyor belt toaster and make my cup of coffee. The conveyor belt toaster is just the right temp to soften the butter enough by the time I am done putting my coffee together.
It was a rough morning, I was getting ready to train a class, my class was driving me bat shit, and the cashier called out to me as I am placing my butter packets on top of the conveyor belt toaster.
Packet 1 down.
Packet 2 down.
Packet 3 - BLOOP
FUCK
Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!? Are.you.kidding.me?!?!?!?!?!?
The way they have the damn thing set up, you can't grab the packet as there is a little metal lever that is some 1500 degrees of burn your skin off.
I start sputtering, and grab my knife and try to stab at the butter packet all while not burning my hand.
And there rolls the butter packet along the conveyor belt.
"MARY!!! MARY!!!!!!!!!! (the cashier) I dropped the butter packet in the toaster - should I shut it off?!?!?!?"
I think she would have bitch slapped me had I been closer.
Now I was saying this, all the while trying to figure out HOW to shut the mother loving thing off...
Finally, I get it shut off. It's a good three cranks in and smoke is streaming from the toaster.
Oops.
Mary comes over and only has plastic tongs in her reach. The plastic is quickly melting and the butter is starting to drip through.
I'm apologizing profusely and trying desperately not to laugh.
Mary calls to the guy who works the grill and asks him to bring metal tongs to grab the packet.
He comes out with more plastics ones.... way to listen bucko!
He sees what's going on, shakes his head and goes in to the backroom to grab a soaked rag.
He comes back out, starts up the conveyor belt so that when it rolls around, he can stop it and wipe all the melted plastic, foil and butter on the coils.
I go and pay, still apologizing but severely smirking and choking on a giggle.
Mary: "Well that's the first time that I've ever seen that."
Me: "*giggle* I'm sorry, it's not funny...I'm sorry... and GOOD - I'm kind of competitive."
At least Mary laughed... and fuck, I have a story!