(no subject)
Today we went back to North Berwick. Its a lovely place, and we went back to the grave yard (hense the picture). On the beach I had a panic attack thought. For one second I thought I saw Dad. This guy, just for one second was my Dad... It was really strange, and upsetting. Hey, maybe he was there, and maybe for a second I saw him, looking out for me, enjoying a day out with the family... I dreamped about him last night as well, he swapped my car for another car and neither myself nor my sister could understand why.
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I decided what I want at my funeral. I want a horse drawn carriage, white horses and white carriage please. BUT I want a rider in front... I want DEATH riding in front of my funeral carriage, I want a guy on a black horse, dressed as death.. I want him riding before my carriage, I want him to go before me and proclaim my death to the world, and remind others that life is too short and that they should respect each other before its too late.
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I am having nightmares about my time at BT, its not nice, but I guess its part of the healing process.
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Kartush has finaly shed!!! She has eaten a fluffy now as well, so is hiding in her warm cave..:)
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Right of to eat something now, I've hardly eaten all day so I need to eat some soup, though David pointed out that the soup only has 300 cals in it...