This Is Why You're Grateful I Don't Own a Gun.
Dear Bossman No.1:
No, no, no. Do not go removing documents from my printer before the ink has even had a chance to dry. Wait like a good little boy until I bring them to you because, while you may find this strange, I like to go over the final product myself because typos and spelling errors are sometimes easier to spot when printed. Do not be Grabby McGrabhands or yours truly will find herself taking on her Mr. Hyde-persona, otherwise known as Stabby McMurderYouInYourFuckingSleep.
Do not approach my printer, do not touch my printer, in fact don't even look at my printer. Your lack of technological understanding- the television set is referred to in the vernacular as 'the idiot box' not computers- will probably cause it to self-destruct out of shame and lack of self-worth.
Dear Bossman No. 2:
It's either have it ready at 9:00 Am tomorrow morning or 'don't kill yourself over it.' It can't be both. Just saying.
PS: Why am I crabby? Let's see: five hours of work, on my own time, which I won't get paid for until several months from now when trial concludes and you bill the county. The least you could say is thank you.
No love,
Your inestimable assistant.
No, no, no. Do not go removing documents from my printer before the ink has even had a chance to dry. Wait like a good little boy until I bring them to you because, while you may find this strange, I like to go over the final product myself because typos and spelling errors are sometimes easier to spot when printed. Do not be Grabby McGrabhands or yours truly will find herself taking on her Mr. Hyde-persona, otherwise known as Stabby McMurderYouInYourFuckingSleep.
Do not approach my printer, do not touch my printer, in fact don't even look at my printer. Your lack of technological understanding- the television set is referred to in the vernacular as 'the idiot box' not computers- will probably cause it to self-destruct out of shame and lack of self-worth.
Dear Bossman No. 2:
It's either have it ready at 9:00 Am tomorrow morning or 'don't kill yourself over it.' It can't be both. Just saying.
PS: Why am I crabby? Let's see: five hours of work, on my own time, which I won't get paid for until several months from now when trial concludes and you bill the county. The least you could say is thank you.
No love,
Your inestimable assistant.