horror stories in the egg world
baltimore is a great, beautiful city. that road trip made this spring break one of my favorites.
dentist tomorrow. i hate dentists. i despise dentists. all they do is bitch....
"open ur mouth jay"
'ahh'
"i said open ur mouth jay"
'ahh'
"OPEN motherfucker!!! OPEN!!!"
'AHHHH!!!'
(jaw snaps)
"ok thats good, keep it open"
'wimper'
"ooh man, have u been brushing ur teeth?"
'ah-huh'
"YOU LIE MOTHERFUCKER, YOU LIE!!!!!!
(scrape scrape scrape)
"you see that?!? that blood isnt healthy. why are ur gums bleeding?!?"
'oh i dont kno, maybe its the fact that you stabbed my gums in 8 different areas!!!'
"did i say u could talk?!?"
'no...'
"STOP TALKING MOTHERFUCKER"
'but i was just answering ur...'
'listen fuck, do u want me to puncture ur gums again? ok, then stop talking...'
(silence, save a few tears from my eyes that are now hitting the floor)
"ok, so what type of fluoride do u want, strawberry or bubblegum?"
bubblegum please.
off the top of my head, i present to u the top 5 ablums of all time:
5. nsync (nsync)
4. the places that youve come to fear the most (dashboard confessional)
3. page avenue (story of the year)
2. soul decision (soul decision)
1. hybrid theory (linkin park)
laugh all u want...
all the beautiful, awesome girls are being swept off their feet by kids that graduated years ago
THATS FRUSTRATING...
cause we just cant compete with that crap. its this huge, neverending circle:senior girls go with college guys, senior guys are forced to go with freshmen girls. freshmen girls get older and are seeing the senior guys (now in college). so the freshmen guys (now seniors) go for the new freshmen girls.
and the cycle goes on and on.
did that make sense?
being sick sucks... oops,
my nose fell on the floor.
excuse me while i dust it off....
dentist tomorrow. i hate dentists. i despise dentists. all they do is bitch....
"open ur mouth jay"
'ahh'
"i said open ur mouth jay"
'ahh'
"OPEN motherfucker!!! OPEN!!!"
'AHHHH!!!'
(jaw snaps)
"ok thats good, keep it open"
'wimper'
"ooh man, have u been brushing ur teeth?"
'ah-huh'
"YOU LIE MOTHERFUCKER, YOU LIE!!!!!!
(scrape scrape scrape)
"you see that?!? that blood isnt healthy. why are ur gums bleeding?!?"
'oh i dont kno, maybe its the fact that you stabbed my gums in 8 different areas!!!'
"did i say u could talk?!?"
'no...'
"STOP TALKING MOTHERFUCKER"
'but i was just answering ur...'
'listen fuck, do u want me to puncture ur gums again? ok, then stop talking...'
(silence, save a few tears from my eyes that are now hitting the floor)
"ok, so what type of fluoride do u want, strawberry or bubblegum?"
bubblegum please.
off the top of my head, i present to u the top 5 ablums of all time:
5. nsync (nsync)
4. the places that youve come to fear the most (dashboard confessional)
3. page avenue (story of the year)
2. soul decision (soul decision)
1. hybrid theory (linkin park)
laugh all u want...
all the beautiful, awesome girls are being swept off their feet by kids that graduated years ago
THATS FRUSTRATING...
cause we just cant compete with that crap. its this huge, neverending circle:senior girls go with college guys, senior guys are forced to go with freshmen girls. freshmen girls get older and are seeing the senior guys (now in college). so the freshmen guys (now seniors) go for the new freshmen girls.
and the cycle goes on and on.
did that make sense?
being sick sucks... oops,
my nose fell on the floor.
excuse me while i dust it off....